when to have baby #2

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Iysha - posted on 12/01/2010

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My fiance is 26 and has a 14 year old sister and a 11 year old sister that he lived with. He has other siblings that lived far away so we dont count them as his siblings unless it's in terms of inviting them to functions. Anyway, he said that with that far of a gap, he felt like a babysitter...he resented his sisters because he was a teen while they were itty bitty and he had to baby sit all the time and was expected to help out when he thought he deserved to have a "life." His sisters are closer in age...3 years exactly, and they are at ages right now where one bothers the other and I have read that anything between 3-6 years difference, they wont become real close until adult hood. My sister and I are 3yrs 8mos apart and were not even close until we were both teenagers. Now we'd probably be closer if I didnt have my own little family and I still lived in the area. So, I decided to have my kids closeer in age but not too close for comfort. lol. we're attempting our 2nd now and if I get pregnant in the next 2 months, my daughter will be about 2 1/2 years older.

But, each way has it's pros and cons. when there is a big gap, you have the extra help, when theres a smaller gap but still a few to several years then you dont have to deal with 2 needy kids, just one and one more independent one that may be interested in helping out with some things, and when there's even less of a gap, you get all the diapers, bottles, etc out of the way one right after the other.

Jessi - posted on 11/30/2010

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I have 3 kids, the oldest is 2.5. The first 2 are 15.5 months apart, the second and third are 14 months. I will say that I would have much prefered to wait until I wasn't nursing to get pregnant again. It is definitely not true that you can't get pregnant while nursing!! I've done it twice!
I will say that most days I LOVE having my kids so close together!! They play really well together. Although at this point in their lives our house is usually a mess!!
It depends on your personality how close you want your kids I'd say! I have moments where I don't like the chaos and mess, but most of the time I accept it and enjoy it!!

Darlene - posted on 11/29/2010

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i have 4 kids.... boy 16, boy 11, girl almost 3, and girl 6 months.....I think i would rather 5 years apart .... I still dont have my 2nd youngest trained yet because i was so sick during pregnancy... and not enough time to do it with her when the baby came..The two boys were trained as soon as they were 2 ....

Angela - posted on 11/29/2010

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Every family is different. My daughters are a little over 2 years apart and so far we haven't had any problems. My sister-in-law has a 4 year old, 3 year old, and newborn. She said having the 4 year and old and 3 year old so close together was so much easier than she thought it would be. I personally couldn't have handled my daughter at 21 months with a newborn around as well.

Anna - posted on 11/28/2010

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I have 4 kids;they are all 2 1/2 -3 yr. apart.I think it's perfect!!! Wouldn't want it any different.And they have so much fun together!!!

Chris - posted on 11/28/2010

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I have 3 children there is a 5yr age gap between #1 and #2 and a 14 month age gap between #2 and #3. I think any age gap is fine. the kids will appreciate having brothers and sisters as they get older.

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I would think that it really depends on the parents and the older child(ren). My sister and I were 4 1/2 years apart and fought constantly. She would tease and pick on me to the point that I went into therapy. However despite all that we are very close as adults.

At the same time my nieces are around 5 years apart and get along really well.

My husband and his sister are about 3 years apart and were constantly fighting and still don't get along.

I think that 18 months to 2 1/2 is the hardest for the parent but the easiest on the kids. They get their animosity for eachother out early and end up getting along better in the long run.

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My first two are 19 months apart - very difficult initial years. #3 is 4 1/2 years younger than #2 and it's a fabulous age gap. I recommend at least 3 years between children.

Mary - posted on 11/20/2010

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H I hae 4 childre 5, 4, 21/2. and 16mths. I feel they bond more are best friends, and lean alot from each other. You cann get all the replies under the sun, but you need to want this urself. Yes it is hard I am only 32, but I love it and would not change it for the world...

Heather - posted on 11/20/2010

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Mine are 14 months apart... my oldest is 2 and my youngest is 11 months... i have to constantly separate them because my 2 year old doesn't like her brother to have anything and she is mean to him constantly hitting and pushing.... however i wanted my children to be close so they could grow up together and now they are a year apart and after the hit 3 and 4 or even maybe 2 and 3 they will be able to play together since they will be in the same age group.

Christy - posted on 11/19/2010

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There is no perfect gap, but ours are 5 1/2 years apart and we LOVE it! I think I may have gone crazy otherwise. People said it was like "starting over" and it was. Which was great!

Amy - posted on 11/19/2010

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i like to say when the other is weaned. I wasn't big on nursing and being pregnant. It can change your milk taste or make you produce less and nursing could - i hear - prevent you from conceiving. So...that's the time frame I say. My sister and I are 18 month apart and we had a blast growing up. My cousins were 5 years apart and also had tons of fun and were close. If you want more..no time like now. :)

Rose - posted on 11/18/2010

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Every person and family is different, my 1st set of kids were just 1 year and 6 days apart, oh I LOVED IT!
they are grown and now they are 22 and 21, when they were 21 and 20 I had a baby, they love their little brother like crazy. But I am just really enjoying him, so I dont plan on having another until he is 3 or maybe never....

Pamela - posted on 11/17/2010

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i don't thing 2 is a good age my oldest is two and he is alway picking on his little brother i spend most of my day keeping them apart

Allie - posted on 11/17/2010

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My mother works at a church where there is a preschool... and she randomly told me yesterday NOT to have another child while my son is three (not that we're trying or anything). She said that in her 50+ years of being around kids that having a newborn and a three year old is supposedly the hardest age gap. She suggested to have a newborn with a 2 year old or a 4 year old. I don't really know but I thought it was amusing and figured I'd share. Good luck!

Pamela - posted on 11/17/2010

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truth is there is no prefect gap if you have them close together the first few yrs is hard because they both still need you so much from you later they will have each other to with play with and lean on but if there far apart then yes it easier to a point the oldest is able to care for them self a little more but they may not become as close when it come right down to it the best thing you can do is really think if you really want to have another baby and why you think you want another baby don't do for someone else do it for you

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