who do i get my 19 mo. old to stop being so winey all the time

Linda - posted on 07/10/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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the past couple mo. my son has been getting really winey and he is fine if i pick him up but i dont hold him like that at all i mean i hold him but not all the time. all of this just started 1 1/2 mo. ago i really dont know what to do. like i try giving him his cup,changing him,laying him down for a nap,well the nap works in the after noon but when he gets up and i am trying to cook dinner or feed the baby he wants to be right there under my feet or in my lap but i cant just play with him or go out side or sit and hold him all the time i have another baby 8mo. old and a house that needs taken care of what do i do i love my son but what i want to know is any one been there and what so i do

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Mary Ann - posted on 07/16/2010

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I tell my daughter to politely ask me what she wants instead of whining. Try asking him to "help" you clean up (give him a dust rag to move around). I reinforce that by ignoring her when she whines. She is a bit older than yours (33 months) but if you get eye to eye with him he should calm down a bit. Also, the "experts" say that picking him up is the worst thing you can do. It reinforces bad behavior.

Amanda - posted on 07/13/2010

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I don't know if this will help i have a 22 month old and 4 month old. And everyonce in a while my 22 month old gets winey.. usually it's because he thinks the baby is getting more attention.. Soo we make sure the gets the same amount. find a movie that he likes to watch and put it on while you feeding the baby. or while you feed the baby give him a treat.. and let him sit at the table with you. It has helped us a lot!! hope it helps

Alison - posted on 07/13/2010

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My guess would be that he is jealous of your 8 month old - he probably sees that the baby gets attention and is picked up when he/she cries and so he is trying to do the same thing because he doesn't want the attention taken away from him. Do you have him help you with the baby at all? They like to be involved - maybe by bringing you a diaper or holding a bottle for the baby?
Also - I'm not sure if you let him watch TV, but my son (23 mo) had been doing a lot of whining and having tantrums and I read somewhere that TV can increase that behavior. I didn't let him watch a lot - maybe a total of an hour a day, but I decided to turn it off all together and I noticed an immediate difference. He sat at the table and colored for an hour the other day without a peep and he has been entertaining himself with books and toys and only rarely asks/whines for anything. I thought for sure I would have to be thinking of tons of ways to entertain him once TV was out of the picture, but it turned out to be the opposite. Worth a shot (if you do let him watch TV now).
Other than that - it may just be a phase, if you ignore the whining and only respond to him when he makes clear requests, he'll eventually get the hint.

Good luck!

Nancy - posted on 07/12/2010

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I had the same problem with my daughter. But she was an only child. I did do research on it though and since you have a younger baby, it is his way of being the center of attention. What I do with my daughter is explain to her that I don't understand the whiney voice only the big girl words. I ignore the whining and when she sees that I do not respond to it, she talks to me in big girl words. Then I tell her that I can understand her and that words are much better at getting things she wants. But I don't always give in either. If I am making dinner, I tell her that I will be with her in a few minutes and to go play until dinner is ready, and usually she does. I did notice though, the whiney voice happens when she is hungry and tired. I do really think it is an attention thing, though and you just need to explain in a calm voice, one on one with him, that you are not ignoring him and that you will be able to give him attention when you are finished whatever you are doing. After sticking to it a few times he will understand and it should be better. Good luck it can be frustrating, but it will all be ok.

ALISHA - posted on 07/12/2010

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THE ONLY THiNG i CAN SAY iS THAT HE MiGHT HAVE SOME TEETH COMiN iN GiVE HiM A T.RiNG; &&i CAN JUST ABOUT SAY THAT YOU HAVE HiM SPOiL. HE CAN'T ALWAYS GET HiS WAY LET HiM CRY THATS THE ONLY WAY HE WiLL LEARN &&NOTiCE THAT YOU HAVE TONE HiM OUT AND WiLL STOP CRYiN. YOU DONE CHANGED HiM FEd HiM GAVE HiM TOYS EVERYTHiNG SO HE SHOULD BE FiNE.

Diana - posted on 07/11/2010

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My 19 month old son is the same way! I'm hoping it will pass on it's own. I just try to get him interested in something else (easier said than done) then I work very fast to get whatever else I need to get done. If I'm cleaning i give him a papertowel and show him a spot to clean up for me and tell him how good aof a job he is doing. He really likes to help mommy. Maybe that is what your son is trying to do.

Caroline - posted on 07/11/2010

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am not in same postion but hoping i can give advice .. ive a 2 year old wee girl and i find when shes winey i make sure shes in the same room as me in her highchair maybe havin a wee snack while am doin some tidyin up or makin dinner as long as she can see me..another cud be he's just bein like this cause he cud be jealous of his younger sibling ... and wantin more attention as hes still quite young..what if u get out with them both take them to the park make a little time for oldest one.. on a one to one basis xx hope thats kinda helpful x

Linda - posted on 07/10/2010

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sorry how do i get my 19 mo. old to stop being so winey all the time not who lol

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