Why doesnt my 3 year old listen to me?

Patsy - posted on 06/08/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I have to raise my voice or spank her to get her attention. She just urned 3 on 6/6..but her dad tells her something, she jumps up to him. Its kind of getting to me, its so frustrating when I tell her something, or ask her to pick up something or not to do something, she just doesnt listen...I need help guys. does this mean Im a bad mother?...

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Brandi - posted on 06/08/2010

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My 4 year old does this constantly!! I'm at my end because he listens to dad but not to me. I found if i take his favorite things away then he tends to straighten up and listen but only for a little while. They are hard nuts to crack

Joanne - posted on 06/08/2010

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no! you are not a bad mother. Have you tried time outs? do you help her do whatever it is that you ask her to do....like putting away toys? my daughter is 3 and is the same way. but i always assist her in putting things away and then she steps in and finishs the job. hope that helps.

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April - posted on 08/06/2011

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Lol Alison, I am having trouble with my 3 year old, yesterday she broke me mentally and physically!! I cleaned the carpets and went to take clothes out of the dryer and when I returned she had dumped the dirt back on the carpet (ugh) During her nap time yesterday we both took a nap, I am expecting and am so tired also lol well she woke about 5 mins before me and managed to unroll 4 rolls of toilet paper through the house, I was collecting the trash through out the house last night and her and the dogs decided to have a field day dumping the kitchen garbage out!!!! I was at my wits end yesterday and broke down and cried, I know feeling sorry for myself doesn't help but harmones are so raging right now and on top of it my husband is out of state working and has been gone for over a month!! She does not listen to me and I am so at a loss on what to do. I havetried time out which works for a few mins, spankings (I am not fond of but sometimes she makes me get to that point) and trying to talk to her to explain what she is doing in not acceptable..... I am so clueless on what to do nothing is really working

Alison - posted on 07/16/2011

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oh, and I don't think you're a bad mother. This is very normal and I haven't figured it out yet--which is why I ordered parenting books to read. :O) I have a 3 year old daughter and a almost 2 year old boy.

Alison - posted on 07/16/2011

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3s can be very defiant. It's an age of testing boundaries and discovering self. IF you're not consistent with discipline, if your expectations are too high, or you're not clear in your directions, that might add to it. I just read a parenting book and I've already become a walking advertisement for it, but I recommend How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. It's AWESOME. Also sit down with her and make a short list of rules and consequences so she's aware of your realistic expectations and then follow through. If she throws a toy, take it away--if she hits, put her in time out, if she doesn't obey the first time--you could count to three and then put her in time out. If she gets out of bed, just keep putting her back in. She'll get the message that you mean business and she should obey the first time. She might jump for daddy because he's not around as much and is a novelty, he doesn't ask her to do as much, or the way he asks is different--more fun, more direct etc. I personally don't think spanking is a good form of discipline and the few times I've done it anyways, it hasn't been effective for me either.

Kandis - posted on 07/14/2011

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my yrd old does the same but will not listen to me or his dad. we have done everything: time outs, spanking him, sending him to his room. just laughs at us!! im at the end of my rope!

Tina - posted on 06/10/2010

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I'm in the same boat. I have a 3 yr old boy that does the same thing to me and i'm losing my mind can someone please help me too.

Diane - posted on 06/08/2010

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no of course your not a bad mother, my son is 2 and he listins to his dad better then he listens to me. I dont give my son a choice, if he dosne't do what I say I give him a smack on the butt and march him to his room. Yes theres toys in there but when he knows im mad at him its the end of his world lol. you just have to be stricked and firm and dont give her the choice. its either do wat u say or get in trouble. =]

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