Would you intervene?

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

My son is being bitten at day care and it's ticking me off. I'm open to hearing how you'd handle this situation.

Last week, I brought my son home from day care and was putting him in his high chair for dinner when I noticed a child-sized bite mark on his right arm. I was shocked because I usually get an incident report from day care if something like this happens. I realized that the teacher probably didn't notice it (I understand they can't see everything!), and emailed the director the next day to tell her that I saw this bite. I just wanted them to know that it had happened the day before, in case they noticed it. After work that day, I went to pick up my son at day care and saw another incident report in his mailbox because he had yet another bite mark on the same arm, but closer to his wrist. The next day, I got another report that his finger was bitten.

Now that you know the situation, I'm interested to know if any of you would want to know who the biter is and/or want to know what is being done about the situation. Not only am I upset that he's being hurt by someone, but we broke our son of his biting habit a few months ago and I don't want him to start doing it again. So, would you intervene or just let the director do her job?

6 Comments

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Tuesday - posted on 07/29/2009

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I would intervene! If they aren't doing anything about it and u are telling them that someone is biting your child, maybe you should either sit them down and talk to them, new daycare or turn them in. Do you know if other kids are getting bit? I would take my child out of it if it was me and they werent doing anything about or at least telling me.

[deleted account]

Thanks for your input, ladies. It looks like you're all in agreement that I should speak up about it. Part of my hesitance is that I'm not sure if it's the same kid doing the biting. The incident reports just say that "a friend" bit him. The fact that they don't identify the child makes me think that the director wouldn't tell me who it was even if I asked. But there's nothing wrong with asking what is going to be done about it. I know that our day care does have a biting policy, but it's vague. I looked it up the first time MY kid bit someone and it says that if biting becomes a "problem," then action will be taken. My son hasn't been bitten so far this week, so that's an improvement! Thanks again for your help!

Anna - posted on 07/29/2009

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Considering this has occured on multiple occasions, I would set aside time to sit down with the director of daycare and talk about this. The first time it happened, ok kids do bite, but the 2nd, 3rd fourth time? Sounds like a lack of appropriate supervision, especially if it's the same child biting your son. I would voice your concerns ask what is being done to remedy the situation, ask whether or not it is possible for this child to be separated from your son. I would further let them know if it occurs again and the problem is not resolved, you will be contacting the Department of Public Health regarding your concerns with the lack of appropriate supervision as this is re-occurring incident that is obviously not being addressed.

Alisha - posted on 07/28/2009

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I would let the directer know exactly how you feel about it. I would suggest them keep an extra eye on him to find out who is biting and confront it because if it is happening on a daily basis I would be upset that they can't figure out who is doing the biting and to combat the habit or talk to the child's parent to fight it. Also don't know how old your son is but you could teach him to tell the child to stop that he dosn't like it. My child's daycare teaches the children to explain themselves and if they don't like something another child is doing to confront them and tell them to stop that they don't like that or it hurts. It works very well. Hope this is comforting and helps in some way. But I would definitely talk to the director and tell them if it doesn't stop you will have no choice but to remove him from the daycare. If they are not concerned about that then that might just be the best route.

Trisha - posted on 07/28/2009

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Maybe you should talk with the director to see what is being done. I know that a bitting child is hard to deal with on both ends of the situation. When talking to the director maybe give some advice on what worked for you and any ideas you might have. It is a stage and kids do grow out of it or learn other ways to deal with their anger. Don't take this wrong but no kid is perfect or an angel so make sure your child isn't doing something to intaganize the bitting child. There are always two sides to every store.

[deleted account]

I would seriously consider searching out another provider. Most of the services I'm familiar with require that a child be removed from the situation after a few incidents. It seems like it's gone too far. I mean, sending a notification is all well and good, but that's not a solution, by any means. I would definitely at least express some concern. I'm not sure it's necessary to know which child is biting, but definitely finding out what they're doing to prevent it is in the best interests of your child.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. It must be difficult. Best of luck!

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