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WAS I TO RUDE TO THE BOTHERSOME COUPLE?

Angela - posted on 09/23/2009 ( 27 moms have responded )

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As a mother of 2 yr old twins, I hate that famous question "Are they twins" I mean seriously if they look identical and they are both the same size so therefor obviously the same age and they are both calling me mommy would there be any other explanation! One day at walmart while shopping I noticed a couple following me around the store and I went into a couple different aisles just to make sure and they were in fact following us everywhere I went so I asked them if something was wrong becuz I do have a 13 yr old and a 9 yr old and when my two oldest boys get out boys will be boys and there is usually chaos.LOL . Well when I asked them the lady was like nothing is wrong I was just wondering if they were twins? Usually I would have just said yes and went on with my day, but the more I thought about these two total strangers following me and my children around walmart for 20-25 minutes the more frustrated I got. So I very calmly said OH SH^T I knew the van was quiet for some reason, No they are triplets but I forgot the other at home, but he'll be ok I'm almost done! And I calmly walked away when I arrived home I told my fiance what I had and he told me that is was being overdramtic but it wasn't his privacy that was invaded for almost a half an hour it was mine, if the couple had just asked I would have been ok with it I deal with that all the time but I refuse for me and my children to be a "show" everytime we go out them thinking they had the right to follow us around the store for so long really bothered me! But now that u all know the story my REAL question is do you think that I was too rude and PLEASE be honest!!!!!!!!

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Courtney - posted on 07/24/2010

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I have to admit that sometimes, on my worst days, I do miss the positive attention. It does make me feel better to have a little sympathy after I had to get on them for half an hour just to get shoes on and into the van only to end up at Walmart where they have been fighting and crying since we walked in the door. I also miss it, sometimes, because it just gives me a distraction and a target for the stress I'm under. Their asking me a dumb question helped me forget the mess (even if just for a moment) we left the house in because I just had to get out of there! My BBG trips are 4 and could easily seem stair-stepped, so we don't get noticed much unless they are being rowdy. It was very odd, once, our first time at an IKEA store near Chicago, most of the stares we got were from the people of different nationalities! Nobody else paid any attention to us, and the kids were actually being pretty good that day.

The comment I find most annoying, aside from the fertility ones, would be them telling me that their kids were x months apart so it's like having twins. Really? Did you push them out at the same time? Did you mix your formula by the whole can? Did you try to cram three baby carriers into a tiny doctors office? Did you have to carry this gigantic attention getting stroller around every where you went because there was no other way to carry three baby carriers by yourself because everyone else is at work because those all those formula cans you mix up whole are killing your checkbook?

LOL thanks for the brief distraction!

User - posted on 08/04/2010

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Thanks for making my night!!!! I get the same thing every single time I go out. Im really use to it by now and usually ignore people plus Im too busy holding my GGG trips hands and holding the other one by my pinky..lol but I will never forget I went to a birthday party of a friend when the girls were 3 months old and a women asked how did you know they were triplets???? Really seriously sooo......a stupid question followed by a stupid answer ..I said um because Im the mother the lady just looked at me with a blank stare.....ha...

Melissa - posted on 09/23/2009

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I love it!!!! No you were not! For some reason if you had more than one baby at a time people seem to think you and your children are fair game for what ever they want to dish out and that it is ok!

I went to a craft fair when mine were smaller and there were these 2 "ladies" that wanted to know if I carried my "grandkids" out often? I told them that they were mine kids and that yes they were with me most of the time. One of them looked at the other one and said "Oh they were late babies". They said this like I lost my hearing when I had them. I looked at her and said "No they were not late babies, they were 6 weeks early". She started saying that she didn't mean that and I informed her I knew what she ment. I was 39 when they were born but that was none of her business.

I have also had people follow us around to make pictures of my kids. That does not go over well at all!

So I say put it back on them!!!

27 Comments

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Annelize - posted on 04/02/2010

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i have started to say NO, they are not. stupid question, stupid answer. and I have identical girls!

Tonya - posted on 03/18/2010

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Well, yes, I think you were rude. Was I rude to people that asked me those questions when mine were little? YES! I know that looking back over the last 10 years. The questions are retarded and stupid and really tick you off, BUT, I have handled the questions both ways and have gotten unexpected results. One of the first times I turned a question around on someone I was shocked at what "I" learned. I was asked if they were triplets and of course I said yes. Then the dreaded "were you on fertility" question, to which I normally answered "Why would you ask ME, a TOTAL STRANGER that question - I don't know you!!!!" and instead I said "Why do you want to know?" She broke down and said that her and her husband had been trying for X amount of years to get pregnant and the fertility drugs weren't helping and it was just nice to see "a success story" (ME). I then thought what would have happened if I had of been rude to her that day. I don't think it would have made her day and I was glad at the way I answered her.

Now, people argue with me. They will ask how old my kids are (since they are different weights and heights now) and when I say "10" they will say "Not ALL of them!" Well, I think I would know that don't ya think?

Tami - posted on 02/13/2010

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Just because they look like twins doesnt mean they are. I met someone one time that had two girls, same height, everything same. They were 9 mo 13 days apart.

Sheila - posted on 02/12/2010

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i`ve had the "glad its not me" to which i replied yeah my kids are glad its not you too,why do so many ignorant bitc*es come out at the sight of multiples,and they expect you to want to hear their stupid comments,spare me, at least mine are now older and i dont get as much rubbish spoke to me,

Beth - posted on 12/13/2009

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I have triplets. It is natural for people to be curious about them. When they were small [ they are fifteen, now ] if people asked questions, I had a choice- I could politely take the time to answer their questions or politely tell them Yes they are but I am short on time. Once a sweet little old lady asked me questions about them in the grocery store. After I talked a little bit, I said I had to go. She thanked me for sharing with her.



Now the stupid comments are annoying but that doesn't mean I have to allow it to make me rude or angry. Like, "Oh, God bless you!" [ meaning "you poor thing"] to which I would respond "Yes, He did. Thank-you." It usually shut them up . Or they would say, "I'm glad it's you and not me. " My response, "I am, too!" Is that rude? I don't think so but it nipped it in the bud. Perhaps, I am too nice. Bu tI want my girls to learn from my example and I don't want them to be rude.

Beth - posted on 12/13/2009

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Yes, I do. You could easily have said yes and asked them why they followed you around for so long, explaining that you would have answered that question 25 minutes ago. Ask them how they would feel if someone followed them around that long. Even give them a chance to apologize. But by responding the way you did, in my opinion that was as wrong [ and rude ]as they were!

Carolyn - posted on 12/10/2009

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who cares, did they consider your feelings while they followed you around ? why care if you were even a bit rude to them ? your protecting your children in this crazy world. on the subject of stranger's stupid questions......... my neice who also has trips was asked "are they yours?" her reply was priceless..........."yes and they all have different daddys"..............my trips are 9 and the questions dont come as often but i would always give a quick reply nicely and move on.............my husband hated questions from strangers and would always rudely ignore people as if he didnt hear them.

Danielle - posted on 11/22/2009

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OMG !!! I hated that question and i do have triplets , i even got one saying are they all girls when clearly the 2 have on blue and one in pink NO you are not wrong our kids are NOT a show people need to realize that before they asked that 1 stupid question we had 20 other people before them asking the same stupid question and do people really think we have all day long to "chit chat" while we have kids crying or pulling us or running away THIS MAKES ME SOOOO MAD !!! So i feel where your coming from.... OH heres a good one did you use fertility drugs or did you have a c-section like i want to tell my personal business to a stranger

Sara - posted on 10/26/2009

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No! you were not rude! Whem my triplet girls were about 3, I had a mother who had 5 kids that looked like stair steps give me her sypathies! on having triplets!! I told her I was the one who felt sorry for her if her children were that much of a burden, and that she should not assume that mine were anything but blessing!!

We live in a small community, I have been asked all kinds of rude questions! You them what you think or ask them a rude question in return.

Kristal - posted on 10/20/2009

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I love it. I should try that one. Really freak people out.



 



Quoting Jessica:

LOL! Love it! Yes it was rude but you know that saying- ask a dumb question get a dumb answer. When my girls were infants I was waiting in line at the post office with them in a triple stroller, matching carseats, & I was wearing a t-shirt that says "I fear nothing, I have triplets". Well I was not in a very nice mood that day & a lady asked me if they were "all mine", I answered- 'no. I bought the stroller & t-shirt but picked up the babies at the grocery store when no one was looking'. The postal employees, who were used to me (one of which has twins & understands the questions) & the girls coming in 2x's a week were in fits of giggles while the lady stood there bewildered & I went about my business.





 

Kristal - posted on 10/20/2009

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I had b/g twins last year. Everytime I go anywhere people will ask "Are they yours?" When I reply yes they ask "Oh. Are they twins?" then One of each? then "Are they identical?" I mean come on people. When I say they are both mine and they both are in infant carseats of course they are twins. Then if one's a boy and the other is a girl how can they be identical. Think people. Once after the twins were about 6m old I told some lady that they weren't twins I just work fast. She freaked out. Course it was the same lady that followed me around the store freaking out couse I was a female and buying condoms. It was funny. You should try living here. Its a retirement state so theres a lot of elderly who think that can say and do what they feel like.

Laurel - posted on 10/19/2009

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GOOD FOR YOU!! No you were not rude! I feel ya! It takes me 20 mins. to get from the front of walmart to the back because people keep stopping me, yes it is flattering at FIRST but then gosh just leave us alone. I really dislike the cheek pinchers! Who are these people to come up and touch MY kids? One of my fav. DFQ ( dumb f*ckin question) 1st are they triplets 2nd all girls ( no there all wearing pink and have pony tail) 3rd. ( my fav) were they born on the same day? ( No this one was on monday, then tues. and I held off till thurs. for the last one. It just gets old fast! and what about those people that say " better you than me" or something stupid like that.

P - posted on 10/13/2009

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no way! maybe i would have used other words but it would have creeped me out that they followed you for so long. why not just ask? or better yet go home wondering. i think i would have also mentioned that next time they should just ask.

Jessica - posted on 10/11/2009

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LOL! Love it! Yes it was rude but you know that saying- ask a dumb question get a dumb answer. When my girls were infants I was waiting in line at the post office with them in a triple stroller, matching carseats, & I was wearing a t-shirt that says "I fear nothing, I have triplets". Well I was not in a very nice mood that day & a lady asked me if they were "all mine", I answered- 'no. I bought the stroller & t-shirt but picked up the babies at the grocery store when no one was looking'. The postal employees, who were used to me (one of which has twins & understands the questions) & the girls coming in 2x's a week were in fits of giggles while the lady stood there bewildered & I went about my business.

Holly - posted on 10/07/2009

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No you were not rude!! I have 6-yr old trip, identical girls. I hate that everyone asks how long it took to get pregnant, (hmmm. I'm trying to recall that evening..), no one believes me when I tell them that no fertility drugs were involved, it just happened! I can't get over that they will argue with you about that! I had a situation once when my mom and I took the girls to Wal-mart, and we were checking out. At this time the girls had just learned to walk, so we had them in carts to leave the store, and the "courtesy" gal had everyone that was leaving and entering the store to "Come and look at the triplets!" talk about feeling like a freak show!! Old people don't bother me so much, they usually just say how lucky we are, and we are. But keep the rest of the wacko's away!!

Just keep up the way you did!! I loved it!!

Justine - posted on 10/05/2009

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I have 10-month triplet girls and I've constantly tried to respond to stupid comments with positive and 'polite' answers, but after reading all of your stories, I think I'll be changing that next time I'm in public lol. I was always giving strangers the benefit of the doubt, telling myself people are asking weird questions because they're curious and they don't mean to be rude. I let most things go, but I've realized that it's not just 1 or 2 people here and there...it's all the time we, as mothers of multiples, have to hear these comments. And it will most likely continue as our children grow up! We can't go out in public to buy a few groceries w/o feeling like a parade of sorts! Why should we have to be the polite one all the time? It's offensive to hear these things repeatedly. I can't even count how many times I've been asked "are they natural"...that one just kills me! What is a 'natural' child, anyway?! Is it just because I had 3 at once that makes mine 'unnatural' in their mind? And how could anyone think that's appropriate to ask a complete stranger? My only option to have biological children was to use fertility treatments, just like many couples out there..we ended up with triplets..it's the greatest blessing we've been given! We don't ask people with 1 child how they had sex to conceive just 1, so we shouldn't be asked details about having 3. I LOVE being asked questions about how I manage, what the girls weigh, how they play together, etc...those are flattering in many ways. I just don'e want to feel embarrassed or put on the spot because strangers don't think before they speak! Thanks to all of you, I now have a few good responses I'll have to try next time I'm out=)

Sarah - posted on 10/04/2009

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Lol nope not rude at all in my opinion! I'm a nanny to triplets plus their older sister plus their younger brother and the thing I get ALL the time is "You have your hands full!"

Well NO KIDDING!!!! I get so tired of hearing that! I have also gotten "Wow are they twins?"

Nope sorry genius 3 babies means triplets!

My favorite one happened when the triplets were about 8 months old. I had them out for a walk in their triple stroller and a woman pulled her car over (yes pulled her car over!) and asked "OPh are they triplets?!?!"

Me: yes they are

Her: Wow! Where'd you get them?

Me: The Hallmark store. Babies were on sale buy two get one free.

Her: No I mean how'd you get them?

Me: Uh well I'm their nanny and I figured you'd know how babies are made but if you want me to explain it to you....





Very odd woman.

Saleena - posted on 10/01/2009

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I totally agree with you I have triplets 2 girls and a boy Im asked if they are twins all they time cuz our boy is bigger not by much (hes 11pds and the girls are 9.5pds) or if they are natural you think your bad no worry when people ask me if they are natural I ask them if they had sex the night before cuz really thats what they are asking arent they?? Its no ones right to make you feel uncomfortable and out of place and dont feel you have to put on for people I dont and if you do care (ha ha) they were natural . I have also been devastated by people thinking they should tell you horror stories as my babies were very early 25wks and all under 1and half pds I go to the farmers market often with them and just after i came home a woman apprched me and told me how another mom had her triplets home and on oxygen as mine are and one died I have no problem with people sharing but really they should think do you really think I wanted to hear that after 1 week home with my last arrival who we waited for 178 days, No way. Sorry long winded there but i totally wish I would have been there to see her face !!

Eileen - posted on 10/01/2009

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Your were not rude at all! I have GBG triplets and i've had some really DUMB comments. "are they all the same age?"....DUH or "Twins?" There are 3 of them you dummy! I had two and then WOW another one popped out a few weeks later! LOL

I also had a strange woman at Walmart no less, stare and stare. Then she finally came up to me, asked me a dumb question and when I said triplets she tried to touch them! That's a no no in my book! When they were small I really felt like because it was unusual to have triplets, peple felt they had the right to touch them! I hated it! And in my opinion, that was a VERY clever response to those people. Just because you have more than one baby doesn't mean it's ok to be stalked!!!!

Cory - posted on 09/28/2009

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You also made my day! I have wanted to say something like that so many times! People are so intrusive when we are out, I have 2 year old triplets and a four year old and for some reason people think it is appropriate to stare and ask fertility questions and above all I have been told too many times by complete strangers... "oh, sorry, that must be hard!" can you believe it! I think what you said was completely reasonable and I am going to keep it in the forefront of my mind for next person who asks me if mine are triplets! Our children are blessings, they are not here for the amusement of others, thanks for making me smile :)

Wendy - posted on 09/26/2009

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Haha. That's awesome. Were you rude. Yes. Did they deserve it. Yes. How creepy. I thought the worst when someone ran to try to catch up with me to ask if mine were triplets, but if ppl followed me around. Wow. Just so you are aware you made my day with that comment.

SUE - posted on 09/25/2009

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As a mom of trips and one just a year older. I look at this from to perspectives. As the ploite nice girl, yes you were rude. HOWEVER, as the mom of the 4 mentioned above, I understand your feelings. I have had people follow me and ask the dumbest, rudest things. I know they are all probably harmless, but with the goofballs out there, they make me nervous. I have been asked countless number of times if I had fertility treatments. THAT"S NO ONE'S BUSINESS! We are very open with our friends that we did, but not with strangers. My answer that I give now is "DId I ask you if you had sex to get pregnant." And many times they say I'm the rude one. They don't see that thier questions are personal and I don't feel it's any of their business.
When My oldest was 4 and the trips were 3, people would argue with me that they had to be quads. I would then say to my husband, "you watched...how many did they take out?" Now there is a size difference my oldest is 8 the trips are almost 7. There is a huge size difference. The trips are 2 boys (same size) and a girl. She's a peanut, about 10 pounds less and way shorter. People now aregue that they can't be trips! Why do I feel the need to argue witht the idiots?

Angela - posted on 09/23/2009

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Thank You for the suport!!! I dont understand y people think that just becuz I am the mother of a set of twins that gives the right to just assume my babies are there for their amusement or questions, they are there for me and their daddy and family to love and cherish not to have to take time from them and answer 15,000 questions from every stranger that passes.

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