How do you stop twins from sleeping together?and when is an appropriate age to do so?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Annalize - posted on 05/18/2009

3

6

0

My 11 year old twin daughters still sleep in the same bed (double bed). We have tried to seperate them on numerous occasions, but then they are restless during the night and climb into the same bed again. Doesn't bother me, they will demand seperate beds when the teenager years start (soon).

JeriLei - posted on 05/18/2009

7

4

0

My twin girls are almost 5 and they have slept in the same crib/bed since the day they were born. They don't like to sleep with out each other. I tried to separate them once before and they would end up together in the morning anyway. I figure they will let me know when they are ready to be separated. Until then who cares? As long as they sleep.

Donna - posted on 11/05/2010

3

12

0

my twins always slept together, even as teens, they are so close its hard fro them to live apart, they are grown now but when they were young i would try to separate them only to find them in the same bed the next day. I would say leave that decision up to them...after all they have always been together since conception and mine are still together daily thought they are married and have a child of their own.

Charlotte - posted on 06/24/2009

14

21

1

My twins slept in the same crib until they were about 7 months old because they were kicking and hitting each other. They sleep a lot better now in their own cribs. Like a lot of people, they're right next to each other. They didn't even seem to notice they were separated. I figure when they get older, they'll decide to sleep in the same bed. I'm fine with whatever they want to do when they can make their own choice. For now, they sleep a lot better on their own!

Valerie - posted on 05/17/2009

124

30

34

Our girl/boy twins (now 20 months) shared a crib until around 9 months when we finally got a 2nd crib. Lily started sleeping through the night at 4 months but Patrick insisted on being fed every 2 hours round the clock so he frequently started out in the crib but ended up in our bed.

Because Patrick would start out in the crib with Lily and then move in the middle of the night, she was quite used to sleeping alone and waking up alone. Patrick had a much harder time with the transition, it took him another 2 months after been weaned off his night feedings to get him to the point where he would be sleeping comfortably in his own crib (at around 12 months). Their cribs are side by side and they do frequently play through the rails and pass things back and forth. Thankfully, neither has figured out that they can get out of the cribs yet.

My advice is to be consistent. Have a consistent bedtime routine so that each of them knows what to expect. Ours is supper, bath, jammies, drink, lights out with a 30 minute show, lullabye cd DONE.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

41 Comments

View replies by

CHERYL - posted on 11/03/2010

272

24

38

gretchen ur twins are the exact same as mine i seprated mine at 6m seperate rooms as one isnt a good sleeper and at 16m still isnt.but its what they are used to.they are excited to c each other in the morning but also fight lots too.if they wanna be together just put cribs side-by-side.

Annette - posted on 11/02/2010

39

4

5

when my twins (boy and girl) were born, the hospital put them into one crib lying side by side. The boy would always curl himself up against his sister, legs intertwining - which is very unusual for newborns because it requires a lot of strength and coordination. When I took them home, I put them into one crib until - after a few weeks - I had the impression they started kicking each other in the night and waking up. From then on, they had two separate cribs sidebyside in one room. When they were about 1,5 years old, they discovered, that they could climb over the rail, and - of course - they started sleeping together in one crib again. Around the time they turned three, we got two big beds and put them sidebyside and we are planning to separate them into two rooms as soon as the third kid's room is ready. Probably next year. Main reason being that they keep each other and their brother next door awake in the evening, talking and talking.

Danielle - posted on 11/01/2010

44

0

3

i stopped at 4 months...they were both rolling over on one another! lol...its all up to you...also, at 4 months we moved them in to their own room in their seperate cribs...so that worked out good for us!

Emily - posted on 11/01/2010

1,065

17

124

My fraternal twin boys are now 13 months and still share a crib in our room. My older girls (now 5, 4 & 2) each have their own beds in a shared room, but most nights someone climbs into someone else's bed, and occasionally they all end up in the same bed.

If your kids seem to sleep better with someone near them, I say go for it! As Dr. Sears says: The best place for everyone to sleep is where everyone sleeps best!

I also highly recommend "The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers" by Elizabeth Pantley.

Rachel - posted on 11/01/2010

2

27

0

hi
i have 21 month old twin girls, who slepted together intill 8 months and went in separate cots, one share a room with her 7 year old brother and gets out of her bed most nights to sleep with him, the other twin sleeps in our room and has started waking in the night and wanting to sleep with us, i dont know what to do do should i put then into bed together.

Marne - posted on 06/26/2009

139

14

23

My twins were around 9 monthes when we seperated them. They had started sleeping through the night then they just got big enough that they started waking each other up whenever they moved in their sleep. My daughter fussed about it the first couple of nights but settled down pretty quick. My son was perfectly happy with the situation. I think it depends on the kids. Even with boy/girl babies I wouldn't worry about seperating them until they either start disturbing each other or start noticing the differences between boys and girls @ 2-3. We stopped twin baths then when my daughter looked at herself looked, at her brother and said "whats that " while making a grab for his tinkle ;-)

Robin - posted on 06/25/2009

5

0

1

My girls shared a crib, then around age 2 shared a bed. When they were about 4 they started asking for separate beds. We got them each their own bed when they were about 5, and although it was exciting to have a bed of their own, most nights, they ended up together in the same bed anyway. They are 8 now and still often sleep together by choice. I ask them why they sleep in the same bed when they each have their own and they say they don't know, so I ask why we bothered to get two beds and they say because they like having their own space. So I suppose it's having a choice that matters most. One is more independent, the other still seems to need to have her sister nearby.

Darla - posted on 06/24/2009

24

10

1

We put our twin boys in seperate cribs at bout 8 months. They were 6month preemies & spent 2months in the NICU. They have always slept in the same room. They are 9yrs old now and preffer it that way, they've been offered their own rooms. On the weekends they often choose to sleep together on the couch or on a pallet together in the spare 'play' room instead of their beds. Kids? lol.

Tia - posted on 06/24/2009

1

29

0

My twins have always had seperate beds however they always manage to sleep with each other. For me it's not an issue, they decided when their on each others nerves to sleep in their own beds, LOL! I have a boy and girl who are 5 they are do to start school in the fall at that time i will encourage it a lil more.

Chrissy - posted on 06/23/2009

1

12

0

My twin boys are 9 months old and still sleep together I am working on getting them into there own room then I will put them in there own beds

Katelyn - posted on 06/23/2009

43

22

1

i say if you wanted them to not sleep in the same bed you should of done it when they where like 2-3 months!!!!! it only gets harder as they get older.

Isobel - posted on 05/22/2009

2

20

0

My twins are 8 and are in the same room but have always been in seperate beds. From the time they came home from hospital they were put into separate moses baskets and at 10 weeks they were put into their own room. They don't mind sharing although 1 is tidy and the other isn't but they make it work. They have a bit of a love/hate relationship but more love. Now I suggest to them about splitting up there is a quarrel over who will leave the original room and who will stay. We have another boy who is younger and he has his own room although tonight one of the twins swopped with the younger lad and they switched rooms. You just have to play it by ear and see what suits you and them. There isn't a right or wrong answer.. Best of luck x

Emily - posted on 05/22/2009

1,065

17

124

Quoting Louise:

We chose to have our twins sleep in the same cot until they got too big !
Then they were in the same room in seperate cots, the reason for this was we'd only got two bedrooms at the time!
We decided rather than move to have an extension built and this was their first birthday present. ( way to spend £20,000! lol)
( boy and girl twinnies) we wanted them to be treated as much of indviuals as any other children would be, so by 18 months they had their own rooms.
They both love to snuggle up together and always give each other a kiss and hug before they go to their own rooms, but they are still very close, they'll be 5 in October :)


The only time I EVER had my own room was starting when I was 6 months old until around my 2nd birthday... then I shared a room with my younger sister for 16 years, then with my college roommate for 2 years, then with my husband for the past 6 years. The only reason I got my own room when I was little is because I was the oldest. #3 in my family didn't ever have her own room... she shared with me and #2 until #4 was born, then they shared a room until she left for college, then had roommates until she got married a year ago. 



I remember dreaming about what it would be like to have my own room, but looking back, I learned so much by sharing a room. DH had his own room for most of his childhood and hated it. We've decided that for our family, we'll keep our kids sharing rooms as much as possible. We will be keeping boys and girls seperate... but we're having b/b twins, so they'll pretty much be together at least until they leave for college. And our older 2 girls are currently sharing a room, and #3 will be moving in with them this summer (from our room).

[deleted account]

We seperated my boys after being home only one week (about a month old) so we could get a little bit of sleep at least! They were still in the arm flailing stages and kept wakind each other up.

Emily - posted on 05/22/2009

1,065

17

124

I would probably consciously split up boy/girl twins sometime between 6-8 years. We are a co-sleeping family though, and we all prefer to sleep with other people. My 3 and 4 year olds usually end up in the same bed, and we'll be moving my 17 month old into their room this summer as we prepare for the birth of our twins at the end of summer. We're planning to have our twins in a side-carred crib (next to our bed, with one rail taken off) for the first year at least, then we'll probably move them into a room together, most likely in the same bed for a few years.

Monica - posted on 05/19/2009

12

30

0

We did the same as another reply...when my b/b twins were about 6 months old we separated them because they were not letting eachother sleep. When they were about 18 months old they learned to climb out of their cribs and would end up asleep in the same crib. They have had their own beds since they were 3 and have done great (they are 6 years old now)! However, they do not like to sleep in separate rooms.

Shelley - posted on 05/19/2009

227

10

26

We put them in separate beds at 1 month old. One was a cuddler and the other didn't seem to want to be disturbed. We wanted a good night's sleep!!

Kristina - posted on 05/19/2009

4

37

0

My boy/girl 7 yr. old twins still sleep together, but only on the weekends. I'm guessing you mean full time? I split mine up when they were 6 months. They didn't start sleeping together on the weekends until last year when they got bigger beds. They sit there and talk for hours. It is so cute. They are the best of friends. I wouldn't worry too much about it. It helps them to bond and there is nothing stronger than a good twin bond.

Kathy - posted on 05/19/2009

3

0

1

My girls slept together for the first 3 months and then we put the cots together, with the rails lined up so that they could still see each other. I have since moved the cots further away but are still in the same room. They are 2 1/2 now and never get into bed with eachother - only us! Our eldest twin, Mia, will stay in her bed most nights but the little one thinks our bed is hers.

Louise - posted on 05/19/2009

3

12

0

We chose to have our twins sleep in the same cot until they got too big !

Then they were in the same room in seperate cots, the reason for this was we'd only got two bedrooms at the time!

We decided rather than move to have an extension built and this was their first birthday present. ( way to spend £20,000! lol)

( boy and girl twinnies) we wanted them to be treated as much of indviuals as any other children would be, so by 18 months they had their own rooms.

They both love to snuggle up together and always give each other a kiss and hug before they go to their own rooms, but they are still very close, they'll be 5 in October :)

Jodie - posted on 05/18/2009

10

34

0

I have boy/girl twins that just turned four and about 6 months ago we got them their own twin beds, but they had to be pushed together so that they could sleep together, they needed to have that security of sleeping next to each other. Just within the last week they wanted their beds pushed, however they still have to sleep in the same room together. They like having that comfort of knowing that each other is close by. If one of them gets up in the middle of the night and comes into mine and my husbands room, the other is sure to follow. I think it is best to let them determine when they want to stop sleeping together.

Lori - posted on 05/17/2009

71

13

6

My twins shared a crib until roughly 6 months old when they started rolling into each other. We then put them in separate cribs and had no issues. The are still in the same room however.

Malissa - posted on 05/17/2009

11

1

0

My first set of twins B/G we had to seperate at 1 year (our daughter has Down's Syndrome bro didn't but started rolling over on to her) But they stayed in the same room with beds side by side until 3. Second set 2 Boys slept in the same bed or we would find them on the floor together until around 6. I let them stay together until they said they wanted their own beds ( but had to be side by side.) Gotta Love them

[deleted account]

I moved the girls to seperate cribs when they were about 5 months old. They still have the same room (age 7), but one of the girls has to sleep in the living room most nights or they make too much trouble to sleep. Sometimes they still end up in the same bed though. As long as they are sleeping well, I wouldn't seperate them yet.

Tami - posted on 05/15/2009

5

5

0

My b/g twins shared a room from birth to age 4. They never shared a crib. I was real nervous when I finally separated them, however the transition went very smooth. They are six now and still stay in their own rooms and beds. Occasionally they have a slumber party with each other, then they are on the floor in their own sleeping bags in one of their rooms.

Nicky - posted on 05/15/2009

8

13

1

i have twin boys and they are now seven they shared a crib as well and when they got into bed they still ended up in the same one but evetually we put them in the same room but two diffrent beds and let them choose they were about three when they finally wanted there own beds but they still to this day want to be in the same room with each other.

Christine - posted on 05/15/2009

63

12

5

I think you should make a change when you feel they are ready for the change. My boys shared the same crib until about 5 months. They were rolling on top of each other & waking each other from movement. They share a room and there cribs are next to each other & they sleep head to head. I figure they will share a room until they can tell me they want their own room or if it causes a problem once they are in beds. Do what works for you and your family.

Manda - posted on 05/15/2009

1

6

0

I'm not sure how old your twins are, mine are 18 months old, but I put them in seperate bassinets at 6 weeks old & by the time they were 6 months old they were each in their own crib in their own room. They love to play together but prefer to have their own space to sleep.

Gretchen - posted on 05/14/2009

2

14

0

I found out after a while, probably 6 months to seperate into different rooms...one would go to sleep...no problem...the other...OMG...took forever with the screaming...but it works out for the best....Mine really never slept together...they are so different.....By the way they are 16 months and the one that screamed still screams....they play well together but most of the time believe it or not they fight...especially for my attention...I love them so much and they are the best thing in the world.

Jennifer - posted on 05/14/2009

34

10

8

We moved them around 6 months when they would roll into each other and pull on each other and it was more fussing and less sleeping than we could tolerate. We have their cribs side by side and bumperless. They are close enough that they could hold hands if they wanted to. Often things get passed back and forth too. A lovey that was in Mia's crib at night will be in Elly's when I get them up in the morning. The didn't seem to have much of an issue transitioning, and I think it's because the cribs are so close.

Melinda - posted on 05/14/2009

11

24

2

Thanks to everyone who has replied. The boys are 9 months now and are still sharing their crib. I understand the twin bond and do not want to upset that but I also want them to be able to be individuals as well in life. That is why I started by naming them two very opposite names. I have since bought security items for them during this transition but it doesn't seem to be helping. I have the second crib set up but they do not handle the seperation very well. I let them nap in the seperate cribs to get them use to it but when bedtime rolls around they want nothing to do with it. I'm just afraid something is gonna happen to them since they are getting bigger now. I guess I'll let it continue until I see that there is a problem. Thanks guys for the input. I really appreciate it.

[deleted account]

My boy/ girl twins are only 15 months, so there is no issue with that yet. They have separate cribs, but often take naps on out futon together. I really see no issue with twins sleeping in the same bed, even if they are opposite sex. Once they are 4+, I'd probably insist on them wearing clothing for their modesty and for appearances sake, but as long as they both want to sleep in the same bed, I have no problem with it.

Fiona - posted on 05/14/2009

7

16

1

My twin boys were in separate bedrooms by the time they were 4. It never bothered them to be separated & I liked it because I could send them to their rooms when their constant fighting got the better of me !!!

Terra - posted on 05/13/2009

2

38

0

I did this when they were 4. I put them in separte beds. They liked it because I let them pick out there own bedding . You have to talk to them and explain it is what boys or girls and make it fun

Natascha - posted on 05/13/2009

1

0

1

My twins are 4 and they still sleep together, they may start in different rooms, but always make it back to one bed in the middle of the night... i think is up to them to decide when to sleep by themselves....

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms