night feeds

Lindsey - posted on 10/05/2011 ( 18 moms have responded )

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I have 4 nonth old twin girlss. One is 12lbs 11oz and the other is 14lbs 9oz. The smaller one sleeps through the night and the bigger one is up 1-2 times a night for a feed. I try to make sure that she is full before she goes to bed at 9 but by sometimes 1:30 am or sometimes 3:30am she is up and wanting to feed. Then again at 5am.
I am sure she is hungry because she won't stop crying until I throw her on the boob and she feeds for maybe 5 min and then she is right back to sleep. I also can never get them to feed for more than 10 minutes even during the day.
Any ideas on how to get her to go back to sleep with out feeding her. I don't want to leave her to cry becuase I am scared she will wake up the other. What do I do?

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Kate - posted on 10/12/2011

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Oh, I am not saying you are complaining :) I think that one of the concerns I have is that books say babies/kids should be doing this and that at a certain age. I find so many people saying "Oh, your daughter doesn't ..." I think that comparing babies and kids is not a good thing for them. We can use it as a guide but I have learned really quick that my twins are very different. I guess I just get a little concerned when doctors say to do this or that. I think letting her fuss for a bit is ok but crying for a little bit only teaches her not to cry and what if she needs something. Parenting is very individual, I think its kinda funny that I haven't used that many techniques from what doctors or nurses say but only what my instincts are or from community members advice.

Jennie - posted on 10/12/2011

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Im sorry, doctors, nurses, they don't know everything. When my children were born they would take only 2 ounces of milk which is what the doctor ordered. They were premies, and I seen that one would cry more and it was because she needed that little bit extra milk and what would they know. So I gave it to her and she started responding better and sleeping better. SHe was just hungry. So to me, they are 4 months...babies, not toddlers where you are trying to make them sleep all night. All babies are different and some need nurturing more than others. I am glad to say that at 4 years old, my daughters still wake up for a little cup of milk, and I gladly give it to them....

Kate - posted on 10/12/2011

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I also wanted to mention that when they say "sleep through the night" it doesn't mean 8 hours, especially at 4 months. I also believe every baby is different and even though we are tired parents it is our goal to teach our babies that we are there for them and understand their needs. I also tried patting my daughters back for a few minutes and she would fall back asleep at times.

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It's hard to not compare kids, but comparing them can drive you crazy. My twin girls were only up once in a 12 hour night at 3 months old... slept through at 6 months for a month... then were up once or twice a night til 14 months.

My 3.5 year old son only slept through the night (10-11 hours) a half a dozen random times til he was 2... and was breastfed til 3.25 years. He sleeps just fine now. :)

Lindsey - posted on 10/13/2011

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Thanks Rebecca. My little one who sleeps through the night is the quiet one, doesn't fuss much. SHe is very calm. The bigger one, she is quite loud. Likes to be held, can not sit still and is a very light sleeper. Last night she was up every 2 hours. Not quite sure what that was all about. Usually it is maybe twice a night. She is always different. Some nights better than others. She had little bit of reflux when she was born but I thought it was gone. Maybe it still bothers her. Who knows. I just go with the flow. lol

[deleted account]

Lindsey: My twins are the same way. They are five months. With my daughter, she eats at 7 pm and sleeps all the way through until 8 am. She's been doing that since about 3 months. I used to wake her up to feed her when her brother woke up because I was worried about her going so long at night without eating, but now I just let her sleep. Her brother also eats at 7 pm, but he is always up at least once a night, normally between 2 and 4 am. He's never up for long (about 20 minutes) and just eats and goes back to sleep. He will normally eat about 8 to 10 ounces in the middle of the night, so I know he's hungry, not just waking up to see mom. My son is almost 20 pounds and my daughter is 18 pounds, so based on the weight you would think he could go all night like his sister!! But obviously not!! I would say that every baby is different, even between twins, and it looks like your bigger twin just maybe needs to a eat a little more at night than her twin. It's funny that both of our "little" twins are the ones who are out all night!!

Kate - posted on 10/12/2011

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My girls LOVE this white noise machine that projects animals on the ceiling! When they will younger I had luck with them drifting off on their own, or at least one would. If I got a break with only having one baby to help get to sleep that was a break for me, hehe. It is sooo hard to not compare them, took us some time to not compare them. I also think that once you do learn a good way to put them to sleep it all changes again around 6 months because of teething. I think that is why people do resort to CIO because it can be very demanding. I actually would wear one of my girls down, the more feisty one, in a sling. She had heart surgery when she was born and seems to be a lot more demanding, I think she still has built up stress in her body from the experience (not that she remembers it but I do believe our bodies can hold stress for a long time). She is an excellent sleeper now and still likes the animals projecting on the ceiling (until we count to ten and blow the fishes away).

Lindsey - posted on 10/12/2011

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I agree with you, I read a lot and it is insane all of the different advice you get from each book. Do this and the next says not to. I say just go with your instinct, do what you feel is right. Comparing isn't good and I tell my husbnd that we can't do that. Thanks for the advice though.
Do you have any advice on getting them down to sleep. I cuddle mine until they fall asleep and then lay them down. I have read that you should put them down awake. My one will fall asleep on her own but there is no way the other one will with out a fight. I hate letting them cry so I don't know if I can do that. I cuddled my son to sleep too and he still wants me to lay with him before he goes to sleep. I don't mind it at all now because that is my close one on one with him but there are times where I would like him to go on his own.

Lindsey - posted on 10/12/2011

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I am not complaing about getting up with her at night. I would do anything for my daughters and for my 2 year old son.I rush to her right when I hear a cough or a grunt. I know they are only 4 months, my problem is comparing one to the other. My son was and is also a great sleeper. I know that when the time comes, she will wake up less.

Lindsey - posted on 10/12/2011

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The health nurse said to also let her fuss for a bit to see if she can put herself back to sleep. Sometimes she is not always hungry, she may just have some gas of just startled herself awake. Also that you don't want to make it habit that everytime they wake you rush to them and feed them or you are teaching them that when they wake, they must feed.
I was told if she keeps fussing to try rocking her back to sleep and then if that does not work to feed her. That makes sense!

Kate - posted on 10/10/2011

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My twins were up twice a night till about 6 months. I feel it is very normal, if they are not hungry they just want to be close to mom ;)

Chantal - posted on 10/06/2011

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Mine are about the same age (4.5 months) and I go through the same thing. Everytime one wakes, I give them their soother to get them back asleep. sometimes it works and I get a couple more hours out of them and sometimes it doesn't because they are obviously hungry so I feed them. They're too young to let them cry. At this age, it's not a habit. If they're waking up hungry, they should be fed.

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