I hate my husband sometimes... and here's why!

Lynn - posted on 06/09/2017 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I resent him. Day in and day out. Every SINGLE day I get annoyed with him for something. Hmmm, where should I begin? Video games. I hate video games. It's time to grow up!! He's in his late 30's and still plays them. He plays SIMS and created a house like ours and "maintains" it. He can spend HOURS doing that but he can't help "maintain" our OWN house (in real life)???!!! He lays on the couch and watches Simpsons, Futurama and American Dad, etc. He cooks for himself and leaves the mess in the kitchen, then takes his plate and eats in front of the TV and leaves his mess there, too! He's worse than the kids sometimes. It's not just clutter... it's filth! He works and puts a lot of devotion and focus on his work, then comes home and does NOTHING! He lays on the couch and plays games or watches movies. He has this horrible habit of smelling his fingers. It just DISGUSTS me!! He eats horribly and has gained a bunch of weight. He drinks tons of coffee and pop and his teeth are in horrible shape with the rest of his body. He can't even take care of himself let alone his kids. He has barely any involvement in the kids' lives. He says goodnight to them (which frustrates me, too, because I get them all settled in and quieted down, then he goes in and gets them all ralled up. Then they can't sleep.) He paces. When he's on the phone he paces. When he's stressed he paces. I have a hard time talking to him about anything because he's intimidating and manipulative. I told him a few years back that I wasn't in love with him anymore and he manipulated me into apologizing and making me take it back. He told me to go ahead and "fail"... "fail our marriage. It'll be all on you", he said. (He knows I hate failing at anything.) I'm sick of him. I'm sick of his habits. I'm sick of his spending and eating poorly and not taking care of himself. I'm sick of him not listening to me and checking his phone or going off into some other world when we talk. I'm tired of him not paying attention to anything really. He's so oblivious! I could go on and on. I know I should leave and I've been on the edge of doing it for years. Just can't bring myself to do it. Pretty scary. And I'm worried about making it financially, too. We haven't slept in the same bed for years. He sleeps on the couch and watches his movies or plays his games and I sleep in our bed. I don't want him there anyway. He just stresses me out! UGH! HE DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! And he has this anxiety thing and doesn't like to have company without warning. I love family and friends... it just stresses him out. He needs a week's warning before someone comes over. Then I keep reminding him a couple days before, the day before, the morning of because he forgets. Once in a while he's ok but most of the time he's anxious and stressed and it just wears me down! Even our kids say that it's more fun when Daddy doesn't come. If we go to some sort of an event for the kids he starts pacing around after a bit and you know that he's just counting the minutes until we leave. I'm SO TIRED OF ALL THIS CRAP!!!

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Lynn - posted on 06/09/2017

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I've been trying for years to "accept him as who he is" (which is what he told me that I'm not doing)... but it's not getting any better. I find myself resenting him more and more everyday. I can't stand to be in the same room as him sometimes. It's been 11 years and it feels like an eternity. I know the right thing to do for my own sanity and happiness (and the kids, too), is to move on. I'm finding it so hard to do.

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