13 year old daughter hates her height and weight

Kay - posted on 03/18/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




My 13 year old daughter is 5"4 and 130lbs. While she is a bit heavier than her friends she looks well proportioned and many of her friends are jealous of her body as she has a large backside and large breasts. My daughter though hates her weight and hates her height even more. Ever since she was an infant people have always told me she should model . She was taller and extremely thinner than all boys and girls in her elementary school being 5"2.5 and 90lbs at 11 years old. But now at 13 she isn't that much taller and is afraid that she might not become model height by 16 . Everywhere we go now she points out women who are tall . She's become obsessed with it . She spends all weekend looking up ways to get taller . Im only 5"1 but her father is 6"1 and a majority of her siblings are very tall . All her half sisters are 5"8 + . Her brother(who shares the same father and mother) though is only 5"6. She seems to get taller every day and Im almost sure she'll reach her dream height of 5"7 but she's so impatient. Im also afraid that she may be depriving her body of nutrients in oder to slim down to a size zero . I only see her eat twice a day and its only fresh veggies. She exercises more than I see her eat .

Please help . Do you think she'll get taller and what are some ways I can encourage her to be happy about her height if she doesn't make it to 5"7 ( I hope she does , she so badly wants to be a model )


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Rebekah - posted on 03/18/2014




She could get taller, but its hard to say for sure. But do tell her that she needs to eat right if her body is going to keep growing. Fresh veggies are great, but she needs proteins and other nutrients too, to look healthy and beautiful. Educate her on what happens to one's skin and hair (and other effects on the appearance) when one doesn't eat properly. It isn't just about a dress size... if she looks sickly, she's not going to get anywhere.

I'm no model expert, but I admit I'm hooked into some of the modeling shows on TV. There was a whole series of petite models on America's Next Top Model, and I believe they had to be 5'7" and below. So apparently, there is a market out there for those that aren't extra tall. There is also catalog modeling, which I don't think it matters as much exactly how tall you are.

While I know this is can be a common dream for girls (and its probably why I watch those shows myself) and women are often pushed to feel validated by their looks, continue to help her work on her inner beauty and other talents and gifts. Modeling, even if one is tall, can be extremely competitive, so its important for her to have a variety of interest areas to keep her balanced and happy. There are a lot of things related to modeling (fashion, hair, nutrition, health/wellness, photography, etc) that she could pursue and enjoy without the pressures of her physical make-up. Do a check on her self-esteem and see if she is putting too much emphasis on looks/weight as a measure of self-worth. This is a sensitive age and their bodies are changing like crazy. I remember how hard it was. You may have an opportunity here to help intervene before it gets out of control. Good luck!

Dove - posted on 03/18/2014




Why is she so focused on being a model? That is probably where I would start here. She needs to be focused on something better in life... School, a sport, friends, etc....

If she is that focused and obsessed this might not be something you can deal with w/out involving counseling. Exercise is good and so are fresh veggies, but she needs to have a balance and a better focus in life.

Good luck!

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