13 year old daughter pregnant...at loss what to do ... need urgent advice

JennyGates - posted on 05/05/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My 14 year old daughter has fallen pregnant. Not through sexual assault or anything but through playing a "game" with a group of kids from her school.
Im at loss i've tried my utmost best to educate her on sex . Ive been very open with her and had the chat numerous times warning her of the dangers as any mother would once her daughter has experienced her 1st period....
I feel as though ive failed as mother. Im angry at her but she is my daughter and I will support her no matter what. We've already decided to put the baby up for an adoption.

What is really stressing me out beyond belief is that my daughters father and I are separated. We have gone to court 3 or 4 times so far ...each of us fighting for sole custody of my daughter. Everytime we end up settling ona verbal agreement that she stays with me and he gets to fetch her for the weekend every 2nd week. Im so scared that he is going to find out and report me to CPS... I cant lose my daughter. My ex husband isn't a very compassionate and warm man, I know he will crucify both my daughter and I for this. Im terrified of what emotional trauma this will have on her especially if she is taken from me and allowed to stay by her father. when it comes to him it has always been about power, instead of lessoning the trauma for my daughter, keeping things under wraps he's going to make it a very ugly public thing..
What are my rights as a mother? I know for certain that my daughter will not want to stay there.
Im at the ends of my wits...and Im so scared...


Angela - posted on 05/06/2013




Does your daughter not have some "say" in where she stays herself? This would certainly be the case in the UK.

I would suggest to you & your daughter that she does NOT mention her pregnancy to her father and also that she avoids mentioning it to ANYONE else at this stage.

In the time before he finds out, I would do some research and find out your rights.

I know she's only 14 but neither you nor her father can be blamed for her pregnancy. She made her own choices and you can't be expected to keep your daughter (or her purity) in your pocket. He should NOT blame you or give his daughter a hard time over this. What's done is done. And if he makes this public, he would be shaming and embarrassing his child. Can't imagine why any child custody case would go in his favour after behaviour like that.

But I'm British so our Law is probably quite different.

Good luck.

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