16 going on 17 troublesome son

Ann T - posted on 08/08/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




I hate my son! He is constantly verbally attacking me and blaming everything that goes badly on me, and I am at my wits end! He is rude, sarcastic, lazy, and just an overall asshole. He doesn't do anything at home to help out, and when I ask him to help, he acts like a bully and demands that things go his way, or...'' [I] won't get [his] help.''

I know it is all my fault that he acts this way. I have spoiled him, and I give him everything I can possibly afford, but he's about to learn a hard lesson. It's going to kill me, but his birthday is coming up soon, and I am not going to buy him one damned thing, not even a card. He doesn't even have the decency to wish me a happy birthday on my birthday or give me wishes on Mother's Day. In fact, every Mother's Day for the past four years has ended in him telling me to either fuck off or he wishes I were dead.

We had another fight tonight because he acted like he was doing me a huge favor to help me with something on the computer, and again, it ended in him telling me he wishes I were dead.

Well, guess what? I wish I were dead too. That way I wouldn't have to live with this evil spawn anymore.


Jodi - posted on 08/08/2016




What Dove said. Stop doing anything for him. Don't let him treat you this way. Take away ALL of his privileges, and if that includes his bed and his bedroom light, well, so be it. Sorry, you don't get to live under my roof and treat me like shit and have all your privileges. It simply doesn't work like that.

However, if he's been telling you to fuck off for the last 4 years, it sounds like he's been walking all over you for a long time, and yes, you have enabled it. Most 12-13 year olds wouldn't say this to their parents and get away with it (my kids have NEVER said it to me, ever, and they know what would happen if they dared). I agree with the counselling - you need some support to stand strong.


View replies by

Dove - posted on 08/08/2016




I'm sorry you are having such a hard time, but you even admitted yourself that you are to blame. I really don't think just not giving him a gift on his birthday is going to have the desired impact here.

What do YOU do for him? Do you still cook his meals or wash his laundry? Do you drive him places or give him gas money (or money for anything)? If so... stop. You do have to buy him food (basic foods for healthy meals) and clothes (good condition and well fitting thrift store items is fine) and provide a roof over his head and a place to sleep (a mattress, pillow, and blanket on the floor is enough), but you do NOT have to do any of his cooking or laundry or... a lot of things.

Some family counseling might be in order as it sounds like there is a lot of anger and resentment on both sides... and that is not a healthy home environment for anyone.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms