16 year old daughter just got her drivers license

Sue - posted on 02/06/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )




Not even a week ago did she get her license and she has been in her car driving more than she's been at home . It's in the middle of the night I talked to her a little while ago and she was with friends and now she turned her phone off ...what can I do ? I texted her friend and she said she was with her ...I went through this with my oldest son already ...anybody that can give me some advise please .


Jodi - posted on 02/06/2016




Well, right now, at this moment, there is little you can do. However, when she returns home, you can remove the keys to the car and confiscate her phone.

Although, I will say, it depends what boundaries you placed around the use of the car and curfew, etc.

Keys to car and licence removed are a consequence for breaching the agreed boundaries (only if you agreed upon them - if you didn't, then that will be this first step and conversation).

Phone removed for abuse of phone privileges (refusing to take your calls/texts).

If you've been through this with 2 children, then it seems to me you haven't set clear boundaries and consequences in the first place. She is 16. You are the parent. You have a right to remove these privileges.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/06/2016





When any child reaches driving age, and gains the privilege of the official license, a parent should ALWAYS have discussed (prior to license acquisition) the responsibilities, expectations, and restrictions of being a new driver. If a parent did NOT do this, then one cannot expect the child to adhere to things.

When you handed this child the keys (knowing that you'd already had one kid reach this age), what did you give her for expectations, restrictions, and consequences? Sounds to me as if you just handed this kid the keys with absolutely no caveats. If you did not take the time to lay down some ground rules, along with expectations, restrictions, and consequences, you cannot expect your kid to be responsible about her use of the vehicle.

At this point, I hope that the girl made it home safely, and that, in hindsight, you've taken the time to set in place rules, restrictions and consequences for vehicle use and possible misuse. Not to mention that I'd certainly hope that a 16 YO has already been given a firm curfew to adhere to, which again, doesn't sound like that's happened either...


View replies by

Dove - posted on 02/09/2016




Sounds like you've got a handle on things. Sometimes good kids (and adults) do stupid things. Hopefully she won't have a repeat of this.

Sue - posted on 02/09/2016




Her curfew is 9 o'clock and she has always been home at or before the time I've never had any problems with her she is a straight A student . She is very shy and only has a handful of friends that usually come to my house.we have a good relationship we are not best friends and she knows that although she tells me what's on her mind and she ask me questions.I took her keys and her phone I will be taking her to school and home for two weeks .I also spoke with the father of the girl she was with .....they will not be aloud to see each other until we deside when and where they can again . She know the rules about the car privileges we talked about them for months I don't know what made her make such poor desitions .My oldest son has been living with his dad for several years he did not like the rules he had at my house and moved with his dad who let him do what he wanted without my knowledge .hes 19 now and lost his license do to his poor desitions .thank you to all the moms that responded to my post ...I just have to be a little bit more aware of the things teenagers are trying to get away with .

Ev - posted on 02/07/2016




I have to agree with the ladies here. If you have not set up rules and consequences for her regarding the car and phone, it makes me wonder what else she had not had rules and consequences for?
This is the problem these days. A lot of parents do not parent anymore. They just give in or give their kids what they want all the time with no teaching them that choices have consequences and you have to learn to live with them.
I wonder about curfew too. I know in the state I live in most towns/cities have a curfew of 10 pm school nights and 11 pm for weekends.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms