17 and unwanted pregnancy

Grace - posted on 02/20/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )




im 17 and the father is 20. we are still together and very happy. im 6 months pregnant and have never desired having a kid and now im pregnant and dont want the kid AT ALL but the father does. i dont want to lose him, nor do i plan to leave him either. and im almost positive that if i was to have him chose between me and the child he would pick the child. i dont have the money or love to give to something i never wanted and have tried to get rid of( yes abortion) and could not because i need parentle concent and my mom didnt know until a week ago. i dont want a kid. when i am only a child myself. i graduated early with plans on going to college in march and now those plans are ruined if the cild is kept. im not ready to be a mom i just want to be a teenager and do what i want when i want with only a parent to stop me, not a child. and i feel that once i do have the child i will hate it instantly and will want nothing to o with ia and will resent it for ever. and if i was to keep the child and something was to happen to us down the road then i have to pay for something i would have gotten rid of. ill i want is a happy relationship, not bills and a child. ive been super depressed and stressed about this situation for about 5 months now and i just want to know what to do. i know that you may not be able to help but some words of advice could help. please and thankyou


MaryAnn - posted on 02/20/2016




I, too, am often selfish. I am amazed that you hid your pregnancy for five months. I wanted to hide my pregnancy until I started to show, so that I could enjoy the last of my pre bio mom identity- for as long as possible. I just couldn't do it.
Im not going to tell you anything bad about the adoption system. But I will tell you something about being a mom.
All of your relationships will transform, but it doesnt mean that YOU as you are cease to exist. With love and support from your boyfriend... Your families and your friends friends and your community, you CAN achieve your dreams. You CAN live the life you want. It wont be easy, and it may be some real hard work... But if you need help, you NEED to ask.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/20/2016




Well, honey, you made an adult decision, and these are the consequences. At the age of 17 you knew how to protect yourself from this outcome and chose not to do so.

I recommend that you get some counseling NOW. You can either come to terms with being a parent and grow up and face it, or you can give the parental rights to the child's father, since he seems willing and ready to be a parent. Know, however, if you do give up those rights, you can't change your mind and have a do over to get them back.

Its time to put on your big girl panties and accept responsibility for your choices and actions. If you don't want to have a kid, that's perfectly fine, and your right. You do have that option I mentioned above. However, you still need to grow up. Being a narcissistic, self absorbed person is not very attractive, nor productive.

Raye - posted on 02/20/2016




Please seek counseling to to either come to terms with being a mother, or making a decision about giving up your child (and probably your relationship).


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Michelle - posted on 02/20/2016




The other ladies have said exactly what I was going to say.
Get yourself into counseling and decide if you are going adopt the child out or let the Father raise the child without you.
I'm wondering why you have waited so long to tell your parents though. If you were so against having this baby you should have told them when you first found out.
I seems you aren't very mature for 17 at all. You need to do a lot of growing up and stop being so selfish. You are almost an adult so why don't you want to be gaining more independence?
You have been making adult decisions with the maturity of a child (not even a teen), it's time for them to catch up.

Sarah - posted on 02/20/2016




My word of advise....you are VERY self absorbed and it is now time for you to grow up! If you did not want a child then you should not be having sex. So now you need to deal with things. Go to a crisis pregnancy center or an adoption agency that does birth parent counseling and get some counseling. Figure out if parenting or adoption would be the best. The child should not have to suffer if you feel you are going to resent the child then place the baby with a family that will love the child. If you loose your boyfriend then that is a consequence to having sex and not being ready. Time to think about someone besides you. A child should not suffer because the adults can't deal with the choices they made.

Dove - posted on 02/20/2016




If you didn't want to have a child... you shouldn't be having sex. Yes, that's blunt, but it's the truth. If all you want is to be a teenager and be having fun... you honestly should have thought about that earlier because now there is an innocent child thrown into the mix and he/she deserves all the love in the world.

The father of your child has every right to raise his child if he wants to do so... so it looks like you are going to have to make a choice between staying w/ this man and your child... or signing your rights over to him and losing them both.

The best actual advice I can give you... seek counseling to help you come to terms w/ this situation and decide what you will do.

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