18 month old twins - social development

Katija2013 - posted on 08/28/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have 19 mth old (corrected) b/g twins, who were 5 weeks premmie. The elder (G) is very dominant, the younger (B) passive and sweet. My question is, is it normal for twins to have very differing personalities and socialisation skills? It may seem like a silly question, but these are my first children, and i haven't had any experience of children prior to giving birth.; and i was an only child. Do i hold them to the milestone checklists for language and social development that you find on baby websites for singleton babies? My son has only recently started pointing at things. Whenever i compare him to the singleton milestones i get afraid that he is autistic, as his sister is so social. He has no outward signs of autism (eg. repetitive behaviours, tantrums for no reasons etc), he just doesnt point much (he brings me books to show me, he understands EVERYTHING i say, he helps clear up dishes, has eye contact, can say 4 words) just seems very shy. Does a lack of a lot of finger pointing, and preferring to play on his own quite a bit, mean he's autistic? We dont have any family around, so their social network is non existent. Ive only recently managed to get them into day care part time for more socialisation, and the staff have advised they havent noticed anything concerning about my son's behaviour. That he's coming out of his shell more. Is it normal for twins to sometimes be social, and other days not be? To sometimes look you in the eyes, and sometimes not. To sometimes not do what you ask? Because im scared that because he is quieter than his sister, there may be something wrong...


Sarah - posted on 08/28/2013




They are being normal twins. Often times with twins you have one that is more dominate/needy and one that is more passive/content. Funny thing is is that often you find this in couples too :) ;) Each twin is an individual they are going to have their own personalities, interests, hobbies, and strengths and challenges. Your daughter may have a harder time with sitting down and doing school work...instead she may want to be on the go and talking to her friends. Your son may have an easier time with school work, but only have a handful of close friends. Both ways are fine. Another thing to remember is that they are still pretty young when talking about social skills. I think what you are doing with having them attend day care a couple times a week is good. That gets them to meet other people and to develop relationships with others. It also helps them venture out from the comfort of the two of them. I would not weigh too heavily on the milestones thing. You want to use that as a guide, but also realize that every child is different and develops differently. My youngest did not start to crawl until she started walking and that was at 13 months....there was nothing wrong she just did not like to crawl. Milestones are a good guide for you to know where your child should be at in general, but if they are missing one target that is OK.....It is also a good guide for you to know when you should talk to your doc. about things. If they are missing a lot of different milestones then it is worth asking your doc about it. Again sometimes that does not mean there is something wrong. Another thing to take note of is that in GENERAL.....boys tend to talk later then girls. Girls tend to be more social and talkers. Boys tend to be more doers....they tend to be more the ones that want to figure out how something wrongs. Thus leading to subjects in school....again the is in GENERAL....girls tend to be more the readers and do well with English, boys tend to be better with math and science.....more on that lines of figuring out how things work.


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Crystal - posted on 08/28/2013




I have twin boys they are 10 now, but they where 6 week premature. The first born is usually the more dominant of the two. They might be smaller than other children of their age, this can last til puberty. One boy is sweet and loves to draw has his ears Pearced and soaks things in like a sponge. My other boy would rather be running and jumping off of everything and has some problems sitting still to concentrate. Just because they are twins doesn't change the fact that they are two different people. They will learn in different ways. One learned how to walk by using the furniture to stand and the other just stood up and walked. They will also help each other along the way.

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