18 year old going off to college

Irma - posted on 10/03/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




Yesterday overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend about sex. He is already at the same college she will be attending. Sometimes I ask myself, am I just sending my daughter off to fail & is she not ready for the real world? When did the respect go out the window?


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/03/2014




1) She's 18. She's an adult, and if you did well raising her (which, from the sounds of it, you did) she is capable of making her own decisions, especially about what she wants to do with her body.

2) Why do you think that 'respect went out the window'? She isn't dragging boys home to have sex with them, you simply overheard a conversation. Unless you were in on the entire conversation, you don't know exactly what context it was, and really, by listening in, you didn't respect her privacy.

3) Why do you automatically assume she's going to 'fail' in some way? Don't borrow trouble. Again...it seems as if you have a level-headed woman on your hands. In the grand scheme of life, simply having sex is not the end of the world, if the participants are responsible adults.

4) once your children reach the age of adulthood, you cannot control their actions, and to try to do so will potentially alienate them. If you trust your daughter, and trust your parenting, you need to have faith in your daughter to make appropriate choices. If one of those choices is to have sex, well, really its none of your business. She's an adult, and so is her boyfriend.

I know that you don't like that answer, but it's the reality of the situation. You can speak with her, admit that you listened in on the conversation, and respectfully request that she fully consider any and all potential consequences of her decision, but in the end, you cannot force her to do one thing or another.


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Tiffany - posted on 10/03/2014




Do not assume, please that your girl will fail. Do you find her ready for the world? Do you think she's ready? Do you think she is responsible, with a mind of her own, morals, ethics and respect for her and others? I am sure your daughter is just exactly like that and she will know what is good for her. Maybe try talking with her about it?

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