18 years old daughter thinks she's so independent and doesn't have to do anything or doesn't have to listen my rule..bec she's 18..I am getting so tired..her dad doesn't live with us..


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Savannah - posted on 11/21/2015




New to this.daughter is 18.father n I no longer together.The guy that i am with for 6 yrs his ex secretly befriended my daughter at the age of twelve at that time the ex would call n ask how he was.when i found out i confronted her and told her not to be talking with my daughter both had agreed.come to find out after all these years fighting for my daughters love she thinks shes grown now, so she moves in with my parents and has a friend of her age that shes know since 4th grade. reunited in high school she now walks and talks like this girl ive heard this girl coaching her of what to say.im tired of trying i have been fighting for my daughter to have a good relationship with her .She told me she doesnt think of me as her mother she thinks and wishes that the guy im with now that his ex was her mother.for yrs now they never actually stopped talking i feel she brainwashed my daughter which i tried explaing to my daughter already it was done out of spite but she becomes infuriated when i try to say anything wrong about that woman.im crushed because of all this i feel like i wanna drop everything and leave just give up!

Dove - posted on 08/18/2012




I agree with Denikka.

Does she have a full time job or is she a full time student? Tally up everything you've paid for her (including a portion of the rent/mortgage, utilities, food, anytime you spent doing cooking/cleaning for her.. at a regular housekeepers rate, EVERYTHING) and let her know that if she wants to be treated like an adult... that will be her monthly bill to be living there. She can take the 'easy life' of being the daughter all the respect that you and your house rules deserve, start paying up immediately, or have a month to find her own place. Then STICK with it.

Denikka - posted on 08/18/2012




If she thinks she is and wants to be so independent, then let her.
An independent person pays rent, washes their own clothes and dishes, vacuums their own room, pays for their wants and needs, drives themselves around and pays for insurance and gas, cooks their own food (after buying their own food)...you get the picture.
If she wants you to do things for her, to pay her way and take care of her, then she needs to act like your daughter and help around the house and abide by (reasonable) rules.
If she wants to be independent, then she is a tenant and you should treat her as such. Lay out cost, and general rules (not what you expect from your daughter, but what you would actually expect from a tenant-no drugs in the house, common areas are to be kept clean of her personal items, bathroom can have a cleaning rotation, and a reasonable curfew-like midnight-so as not to disturb the other members of the household)
If she can't abide by your rules or pay rent, she can go back to daughter status and follow those rules, or she can move out.
It's a case of tough love, but sometimes it's gotta happen. Good luck :)

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