18 years old gone wild! I need help!!

Sarah - posted on 08/12/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )




I am a single mom and work hard, too hard to make ends meet. I am up at 5am everyday, cleaning, hoovering and doing lots of other work around the house before I go to work - IT business that I am trying to run.

My 18 years old, turning 19 on Saturday feels that I am here to work and him to play computer games and all other addictions and spend all day sleeping. No CHORES!!

I came from work this afternoon and found that he did not even hung the clothes out or emptied the dishwasher - cooked as usual - me buying the food. He had a young lady, they had pizza (I bought the night before) and had not emptied the dishwasher or done any house work - while doing it, I heard a female voice, called him downstairs and asked him to asked her to leave. I had previously said he could not invite friends without informing me first. This child started laughing at me - so I told him if he did not tell the girl to leave, I would!

He laughed at me so much that I had to go upstairs and asked the girl in a polite way that she had to leave - the girl was still there after an hour. I asked her finally to leave or I will call the police. My son was telling her, you do not need to leave - he was even calling me names in front of her and she stayed.

He will not be coming home tonight!Parents teach your daughters, when asked to leave, they should. Why take sides of a boy she does not know?


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Sarah - posted on 08/12/2013




Thank you everyone for your feedback - You are right that I should not divert my son's behavior on the girl. As it goes, he left with the girl and I locked all the doors and went to bed.
I was woken up at 4am with a loud noise - he was in my house! He had kicked the back door to get in, I did what I should have done before, this was his second times to kick the door in. I called the cops and asked that he should be arrested and I want to press charge of criminal damage.
When I was on the phone with the police, he kept shouting that I live here and have the right to kick the door in, if you do not open. He was arrested and taken to the police station.
I told the police, he cannot come back to my house.
I feel that I have done the right thing. If he did not appreciate my presence, I am giving him the chance to appreciates my absence. We do not need to take such abuse from our own grown up children.
Right now, I am going to take a day off - to look for a locksmith to fix the door and it's completely off the hinges.
Thank you for all your support.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/12/2013




How about "parents, quit letting your kids get away with no chores and no responsibilities and then complaining that they never do anything"???

Sorry, but the initial responsibility lies with how your son was raised. If he was raised with expectations from the age that he could first do chores, then he'd still be doing them and have a sense of responsibility. My kids do. My 19 yo will be moving in 2 days, and he's STILL trying to figure out how to come back to take care of his "responsibilities" at my house (which, incidentally just makes me giggle...I'm sure I can handle loading and unloading the dishwasher, and cooking on what used to be "his" nights to cook)

My point is, my kids have always had age appropriate chores and expectations, and as they age, the responsibilities on them become more. They wouldn't even THINK of behaving that way.

And, yeah, he's an adult now...so he can hit the door too...maybe gf will let him disrespect her parents for awhile...

Jodi - posted on 08/12/2013




Why is this boy still living in your house? I'm not sure why you are blaming the girl! Your son sounds like he should be leaving too!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/12/2013




"He will not be coming home tonight!Parents teach your daughters, when asked to leave, they should. Why take sides of a boy she does not know?"

Well, first off why don't you pay attention to your son not giving you the respect you deserve instead of diverting your attention to how the girl was acting. Sounds like your son has no respect for you or this girl, so focus on that why don't you.

Second, kick your son out. He needs to get a life.

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