1st grade parent teacher conference etiquette for divorced parents

Tina - posted on 09/17/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )




Why is that I feel so slighted because my ex-husband and his wife are taking our 6 year old son and his 4 year old brother, to his first open house / meet the teacher night for 1st grade.

I have physical custody and both my ex and I have joint legal custody.

My ex husband remarried a year ago and within months his wife was volunteering for parent classroom volunteer, attending parent teacher meetings and attending PTO meetings, etc.

These are things I do with my son. My ex-husband and his wife and her 3 kids live in another town.

My ex husband called and asked if I would mind HIM taking our son to the OH knowing that I will be attending as well. I assumed it would be a joint effort, two separate cars, and his wife would stay home with my 4 year old. (it's his visitation night).

My son stated that he wanted to go to the OH with his dad BUT he wanted me there too, with him.

The day of the OH he tells me the 4 of them are going to the open house and ignores my request for a time of arrival. I get a why?, until the 3rd time I ask and then finally get an estimate.

I'm really upset. Am I just having "mother bear complex"?


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Jessica - posted on 10/01/2014




I can't even read this. How is this not at all optimized for viewing? There's no formatting and no ability to read this on any mobile device (iPad, Tablet, phone, etc). How can I take something seriously when there is zero drive for the material to be relative in its suggestions to parenting when it's not even relevant in it's current accessibility?

Patty - posted on 09/17/2009




I would be upset too and it sounds like a power struggle. I try as much as possible to discuss stuff with the kids, times, location etc. and when I do have to discuss it with their dad I try to be polite and firm. They are both your kids NO MATTER WHAT. that's fine his wife wants to join (as annoying as it is), it is great for the kids to have as much positive support as possible. But that does not change the importance of the childrens mom and dad being present and getting along as much as possible. I do respect "his" time although I have had to let my x know that I will not be excluded from important events, such as school, sports and any other activity I feel and the kids feel they want to share with me. It is hard work being divorced with children and then a little more when one remarry's. You are always going to be their mom and he their dad the stepmom is secondary--if she wants to join and he wants her to join I would work at being ok with her being there just not in place of you.

Sharon - posted on 09/17/2009




The stepmom is trying to prove she can be a good mom to his son. But she is shortsighted in not considering you.

Him not telling you the time is the stepmom trying to force control of the situation. Or he's afraid to have the two of you meet.

Your mother bear complex is deserved. She's trying something hinky and knows she can't hide it from you.

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