2 stepmoms and 1 mom......?

Emilie - posted on 12/19/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )




I have been suspecting for a while that my ex husband was cheating on his new wife with his neighbor, he gets our kids every other weekend so I want my kids to be in a good environment. I have heard so much lately about all the fighting, and inappropriate and crazy things that goes on over there. I wouldn't care except that my kids are over there. I started going to church and I found out that one of the women that goes there are neighbors with my ex, me and her kinda are friends and we were talking saturday while the kids were practicing for the christmas play and I found out that this woman not only lives next to my ex but has been sleeping with him, and is best friends with his wife and has had threesomes with him and her. As we were talking more I found out that she is engaged to my ex and his wife and they plan to get married and it bothers me because all this crap is going on while my kids are there and I don't want them involved with all that. I don't want my son to grow up and be like his dad. I called my ex and told him how sick he was and he said that all that stuff was a lie and that I misunderstood her, but I am not stupid and I know I didn't misunderstand, and my 9 year old son told me that they all sleep together, and the fact that I have been suspecting that stuff is going on for a while, I just didn't know that they were engaged and that the women do sex stuff too and that they have threesomes. I have a court order, and I can't afford to go back to court and get the order changed, and if I just try to keep them from him then he could call the cops on me.

It is just a weird gross situation and it really bothers me. My kids don't need 3 moms, and they need there dad to be a good dad

I am worried because polyagamy is illegal here, and the kids should not know what goes on in the bed room, and they have already been molested there last year, we are now going to court for that. They were not molested by him, but by a man that he let in the house and he knew the man was bad news and he doesn't watch the kids good enough. He lets my 9 year old babysit his 2 year old.


Amanda - posted on 12/19/2011




What your ex does in the privacy of his own bedroom is none of your business, and that is how the courts will see it also.

He isnt molesting children, hes having sex with two woman. Your son will not grow up to be like him as long as you teach your son your same morals.

If you are going to court about molesting and your ex not watching the children correctly then I suggest you bring this up then, though I am not sure what the court will do.

Jamme - posted on 12/19/2011




I don't think you should have a say in what goes on. Just becuase he leads a lifestyle that is different from your own doesn't mean that it is wrong. There are many types of families out there. Ones with only mom, ones with only dads, and ones that contain multilples of both sets. It is important that you be supportive of your son and his questions. Because he will have a lot of them. He needs non judgemental answers and possibly counseling. I do also think this needs to be discussed with your ex so that you understand the environment your son will be in.

Rosie - posted on 12/19/2011




i don't think you should have any say in what your ex husband does in his bedroom. as long as your son isn't witnessing sex and they're keeping it in the bedroom, what difference would it be if he were only having sex with one person or 2? how would he know?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/19/2011




My first question is this: Why on God's green earth would you start discussing private, family business with the neighbor? No matter how much you are friends with her?

What you've got is heresay. It's not admissible in court, nor for a court order. If you are concerned that your children are not being monitored properly, and you have court mandated visitation schedules, then you can request an advocate for your children. The advocate will visit the situation, and make recommendations if they find anything amiss.

If you are already in legal proceedings because of a previous molestation, and you fear that living arrangements may have played into that molestation, then you can express the concern that your ex's behavior may be damaging to your children, but again, they'll have to have proof.

I'm not trying to discourage you protecting your children, but if you don't have full ammo when you go after your ex, you will end up looking like the fool, playing the "he said, she said" game.

Whether you can afford it or not, you need to get some counselors involved, as well as an attorney. If you are that concerned that something is going on, you need to take action, not sit still. But, like I said, make sure you do it in the right way, thru the system, not by yourself.

As far as the polygamy goes, yes it's illegal in the US. But that doesn't stop those who are deranged in the head. They don't file for a marriage license. They have a common-law arrangement, in most cases, or none at all. Whats that stupid show called...Sister Wives? They aren't married to the perv. ONly one of them is, and I guess she decided that his sex drive needed more than she could give it...I don't know, but it's just sick and wrong, really. But, legal or not, if they want to live in that arrangement, they will. As long as he's not legally trying to marry two, they can't be prosecuted for polygamy. (And, no, just going before some "bishop" of some weird "pop-up" church will not be a binding marriage, and again, unprosecutable.)

Arm yourself and head into battle honey, just be very well armed.


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~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/19/2011




WOWZA! Well, as far as you know right now, it is hearsay. Unfortunately, this DOES sound like a job for a lawyer to get involved. Invoking your rights as the mother, and setting the standards for how you want the house to be when your child is their may be your only option. Your ex can do as he pleases. If he is a polygamist, and it is legal where you live...not much you can do about it...except when your child is involved. If your son is safe, and well cared for and not in any harm, you and your ex may just have to sit down and figure out "house rules" to abide by. This is a sticky situation, but if you are both adults about it, and leave out the name calling and accusations, I am sure you can resolve this....but it might be wise to have a lawyer in your back pocket.

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