2 Year old adjusting to new routine...(Heartbreaking)

Tennille - posted on 05/09/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hi Moms, I would just like to have your views,opinions and advice on my current situation.
I have recently started a new Job which requires some shift work eg; 12pm - 9pm and 9pm - 6am once a month. The rest of the shifts are pretty normal 9am-6pm or 8am-5pm. I work one weekend every 8 weeks so most of the weekends I will be at home. I took this job because it offered me much better benefits than my previous employer, I now have Medical Aid and Pension fund benefits and a better salary, which in turn means I can provide a better life for my son.Because of the shifts, I had to take my son out of day care and my Aunt is looking after him now from her house (I trust her with my life and she is brilliant with kids) so on the days when Im working 12pm-9pm she suggested that I do not pick him up after work because she will be trying to get him in a new routine and by the time I get there I would have to wake him up and drive home alone at night, which she said is not a good idea. So now he sleeps over at her place and I go straight home after work then in the morning I would visit him before heading to work. This is our first week of this new routine and I literally feel like I've lost a limb. I miss my boy SO SO SO much it hurts. Since birth up until Monday he has always slept in the same bad as me. Its so lonely without him at night. I call my aunt several times througout the day and she would tell me how things are going. She says he is fine and he is being a typical 2 year old. He has his cousin there too so they play together most of the time. At nigt she says he becomes quiet and starts asking for me. She says he looks very sad at night and has a "heartbroken" cry, but sleeps after that. I took this job so that I can provide a better life to him because his father is not making any sugnificant contribution financially and I only want the best for my son. Why do I feel this constant drone of doubt? Will this transition have a negative effect on my son psychologically in the long run? Or is it just a matter of getting used to this new routine? Please any advise would be warmly welcomed.


Amy - posted on 05/09/2013




I work retail and when my kids were little my commute was over an hour. So there were many nights I didn't get to my kids till 11 or 12 at night. I always picked them up unless I had to be back at work at 9 am, because then it didn't make sense. Most nights I carried my sleeping kids to the car and drove them home, and tucked them into their own beds. My philosophy is if I'm not working then I want my kids with me! They're older now 7 and 3, and I'm going through a divorce so sometimes I send them to daycare so I can get stuff done around the house. It's up to you, if its too much away time tell your aunt that you just aren't ready for that much desperation. Your child will adjust to whatever routine he has, even if some nights are with you and some nights are with his aunt, he'll learn different routines at different places!


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Lakota - posted on 05/09/2013




Hi, Tennille. I hope I didn't read this wrong, but, if it's just once a month, it should be ok. You said the rest of the shifts are normal shifts. So, it doesn't sound like he will sleep away from home very often at all.

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