20 year old son wants to have girl sleepover

Sharon - posted on 02/05/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




My 20 year old son asked if he could move downstairs and pay rent. We agreed, he is suppose to pay $100 per week plus extra cost for electric heat. He moved downstairs in Dec, he hasn't paid any rent yet or money for electric, still eats our food and now wants to have girls sleepover. He is a good kid, hard working and responsible but we don't feel it is right to have girls sleeping over. He says if he gives us some money can he then have girls over, I still feel this is not acceptable even if he does pay as he is still under our roof.


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/05/2014




Well, if he does start paying rent, then he is buying his space, and as long as he's not inviting minors over for sex, he's perfectly legal to have guests of the opposite sex. And, if he were living in his own place, away from you, you know that he'd have gf over.

So, either you are accepting his payment of rent, indicating that he's an adult, and living as such, or you never accept his payment, and play the 'my house, my rules' card.

Now, my son also paid me rent for his space once he graduated HS. And, as such, I treated him as a tenant, with a list of do's & don'ts. One of the don'ts was "don't come in after 1 am and wake the house." The GF question didn't arise, because both he & she had already agreed to no sex.

So, really, it sounds like it's time for an adult discussion of house responsibilities, and if you want your son to pay for his room, expect him to want some of the freedom that comes with paying for your own space. (I do have to say...You must have one ROCKIN' Basement for him to be willing to pay $100 week for it) You are, after all, charging him $400 a month in rent...in my area, that gets you a one bedroom flat without your parents upstairs, and no guest restrictions.

I understand where you're coming from, but honestly, if you want him to pay for his space, expect him to want to LIVE in that space, and not just be your adult son living in his parents' basement. That would include having women spend the night...

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