3 yr old with possible adhd, any advice please?

Kristin - posted on 01/30/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )




Ok so let me get the story out there first. The 3yr old in question is my boyfriends son. I have 3 children of my own that are 9, 7, and 3 as well. I raised them essentially on my own their whole lives and they are well behaved and well mannered children. However, none of them have ADHD. My boyfriend moves in with his son and at first things are okay. After he starts getting settled in though, that's when his whole disposition changed. He has made a lot of progress as far as speech by being around us and my kids but that is where his progress ends. When he doesn't get what he wants, he cries and loudly. When he asks for something properly like to watch a tv show, we put it on but within a minute he is off doing something else. He has ripped the paint off the walls, peed and pooped his diaper and smears it all over his room floor (despite our best efforts, he still isnt potty trained), breaks all my kids toys, steals things, hits, yells, tries to go outside alone (until we had to put higher up door locks on the doors because he had gotten out twice before and headed straight for the road), destroys the house, constantly makes a mess, constantly wants to eat but when he gets food he plays with it and throws it around, raids the refrigerator, almost broke our TV by pushing it over.. etc. We have tried time-outs with eye level firm tone but not yelling correction, we have tried explaining what he is doing wrong and that it isn't okay, we have given him options, etc. None of this was working and sometimes he gets to a point where we had to spank him such as playing with electrical sockets or trying to play with dangerous tools or knives (which are where he cant get them now) and he cries and whines when it is happening but once we stop and walk away he is off doing it again like nothing happened. He cannot be left unattended for even a few seconds without getting into trouble. He has the most profound sense of hearing I have ever seen in a child and if he is doing something he knows he shouldn't and he hears me get up off my bed or out of a chair from a different room in the house he will go running and act like he never did a thing and then laughs about it. Where I have seen most kids get up in the middle of the night to crawl into bed with their parents like my kids used to, he will get out of his room and climb on the counters of the kitchen to get to things high up, try to leave the house, pulls books out of the book shelf or DVDs out of their covers and throw them around and break things so dangerously we have had to resort to locking him in his room at night because despite how much he cannot sit still and cant stop talking when we are around, he knows very well how to be quiet when he is doing something wrong and we'll never know about it. I know this isn't right but it is the only way we can ensure his safety. A couple of weeks ago we brought him to a child therapist and they told us that he likely has a VERY severe case of ADHD. Unfortunately the insurance we had lapsed and they won't let us renew so any pointers on affordable insurance for this kind of thing would be great as well. Ultimately we have no diagnosis however ADHD and mental disorders (manic depression, multiple personality disorder, sociopathy amongst several others) do run in his immediate family on the mothers side and ADHD on the fathers. I want the best for this child but I honestly don't know what to do anymore and his behavior is now starting to affect my kids, especially my 3 year old, who has started picking up the same bad habits he has. This has to stop but I don't know how. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!


Michelle - posted on 01/30/2012




Kristin I highly recommend you research the Feingold diet it explains how to adjust a childs diet to help with certain ADHD behaviors. I would also seek out counseling or an early childhood intervention program in your area as your bf son may qualify for special programming in preschool which will help him learn to deal with his behavior. Children with ADHD need stability, a schedule and to know exactly what is expected of them. I would try a reward chart with him a state if you do this you will get that but if you don't do this you will not, Clear consequences for every action good or bad. Sit down and talk with your bf and get on the same page so you are both parenting the exact same way. Also though unfair to your other children you must adjust your rules so that both 3 year olds have the same things expected of them or the one with the problems will feel like you are picking on him. A child with ADHD is very difficult to raise but once you get it under control they are a joy to be around.


View replies by

Kourtney - posted on 04/01/2013




Sorry Sherry but your wrong there. Today my 3 year old son got diagnosed with adhd and put on 5 ml 2 times daily of methylin. My child does all of the same things however, he tries to run outside and heads straight for road, kicks hits and bites. screams loud when you tell him no, he yells shut up. his doctor said that it is a sever case of adhd and if not on the meds could possibly be a danger to himself.

Iridescent - posted on 01/31/2012




Also, as soon as possible, have him evaluated by an Autism Clinic. This does not sound like a child that understands. ADHD and autism often go together, and when you combine the hyperactivity with the sensory seeking plus difficulties in communication, it makes it very possible.

Kristin - posted on 01/31/2012




I have looked into the Feingold program and it looks like many of our issues are addressed in it. We will definitely be looking further into that soon. Thanks for the tip.

Sherri - posted on 01/30/2012




Sorry but a 3 yr old can not normally be diagnosed with ADHD. They usually can't diagnose such a thing till they are around 7yrs old.

It definitely sounds like he needs help. I would try and get him the help he needs and work out a payment plan with whatever, doctor or therapist you can find.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms