33 And pregnant with 3rd child

Roxana - posted on 07/16/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )




Hello Everyone,
I am new to this and would love to happy everyone's opinion and advise please. I have a 10 yr old and a 13 yr old with my ex, and I am currently 6 weeks pregnant with my 3rd. My partner and I are super excited about this baby, but we cant help but also be scared of what might be in the future for us. First off let me say that we just moved to a really nice town..which nice town means that rent is allot higher than what I am usto paying. I work part time because it works greatly with my childrens/fianc'es schedule and I get to be there for the kids most of the time after school. I work about 25-30 hrs a week, plus get child support from ex(when he decides to work..lol). Even though i only work Part time and my Fiance works 1 full time job and 1 part time, I Make about $15 an hour..which is more than what my fiance makes. Right now we Live" comfortablly", but we get by. But to get to my point and question and hopes of advise. We are both nervous that because I wont be able to work, that our lives and relationship will be tremendously be affected due to lack of income. We don't want it to be a vicious cycle and then we cant pay for rent or other expenses..and we definitely don't want to not be able to see each other less than we already do. Please help with some advise and possibilities


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/16/2014




Pare your budget down now. Start cutting back on 'wants' and such now. Work out a budget with the new projected income, and stick to it.

Man, all I can say is $2000/month for rent is completely outrageous, though, and you'd better be living in a friggin mansion for that...Even in our inflated area, the highest rents are around $1800, and that's for 8-10 bedrooms and amenities that are considered 'high class'. Was there absolutely nothing less expensive? That's where I'd look first, TBH...

And it may require cutting back A LOT, if that rent is indicative of the COL in your area. It may mean that you don't do starbucks, or eat out more than once a month...that your kids don't need the top of the line accessories (if they think along those lines...LOL...mine don't, they're pretty 'cheap' to raise)...that your nails/hair need to be curtailed.

Note, I'm not saying that you currently partake of those extras above, but generally, when I hear 'I'm paying $2K a month for rent' it's accompanied by daily trips to the coffee shop, nail salon, etc. If you're willing to pare back to bare bones, you should not only be able to make it work but also get your nest egg back to where it needs to be.

Roxana - posted on 07/16/2014




I know it most definitely can be done, because I was a single parent for 4 years myself after my divorce. But I also lived in a cheaper town than what we do now, and We don't get ANY government help from anywhere. I didnt mean to see that "my relationship" will be affected in an emotional way., but as anyone else. Wether we want to admit it or not, a relationship does suffer due to finacial struggles..whether they be arguments or not. And no. I am not supporting my fiance because if that was the case i wouldn't be able to do that working part time and having a rent of $2000 a month. Moving to another town isnt an option because i did promise my children we will not move again, because they just gor usto the town and just now made friends. My daughter in being a teenager struggled with the new town, and it would affect them more if I moved them again...when we just moved a year ago to our residence.

Serene - posted on 07/16/2014




If you are worroid about youre finances and youre relationship then you must be supporting youre fiance. If anybody is ever scared that NOT making enough money is going to cause problems in Relationship, then itss time to re-evaluate the relationship and ask yourself is he any way a provider. If NOT then you are going to be struggling in keeping it together finacially and youre relationship. A relationship is suppose to be a team, working together.
Are you renting a house? Is your lease almost up? If so find something cheaper for rent. How many cars do you have? Sell one. Take Hubby to work, save a little, cut back on spending, and make a list of "NEEDS' and "WANT's" FYI... It can be done. I'm a single mother of 2 and im living pretty comfortable myself.

Sarah - posted on 07/16/2014




Start saving now for that time you will be off. Also write down everything that you buy....including pop, a candy bar, etc. that are easy look overs. Then cut out the things that are not needs. Really evaluate what is a need. Many times a "need" is really more of a want. Cut back on cell phones, cars, etc. if you need to. Yes those are sometimes a hard "want" to get rid of, but if need be can. Car pool with co-workers, use city busing, work out a schedule with your partner for car pooling together. It can be done, even if it does not seem it could be. If your lives and relationship are going to be tremendously affected by lack of income then you also need to work on your relationship. Lack of income should not determine how good or bad your relationship is going. If that is a concern then you need to look at your relationship and address those issues.

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