4 year old thats pooing her pants and playing constipated

Karla - posted on 09/24/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




hello im new to this site but i would really appreciate the guidance to help me with my 4 year old daughter that is going through a phase of pooing in her nickers and not using the toilet plus she likes to play in it and pain it on her carpet she also pretends to be constipated as well so she doesn't have to use the toilet I've tried numerous things to get her to use the toilet and getting the constipated idea out of her head but nothing seems to work. i would really much appreciate it if i could get some help with it thanks


Ariana - posted on 09/24/2013




The problem is you cannot win a battle that has to do with poo. This is a power struggle. Hey I can poo where and when I want and there is nothing you can do about it!

The best thing you can do is give up the battle, but make her responsible (as much as is age appropriate) for her actions. Also try to not leave her unsupervised where she has time to start playing in her poo.

If she poos herself she should be expected to at least bring the underwear/pants over to get washed or rinse it under the sink until you can clean it up, as well as wash her hands etc (probably with a bit of your assistance) each time.

Otherwise act like it isn't even happening. You tell her, it's up to you if you want to poo in the toilet or not, and then just let it go. If she goes poo in her pants, well clean it up and don't make a deal of it. Don't try to make her use the toilet. You can suggest it, but if she resists say okay. Don't fight her, at ALL.

Also if there are any cooler 'older' girls you know or in the family it can be helpful to have them over for a playdate/sleepover and they can show her how they use the toilet all the time. It'd be great if she had a cousin or someone she likes who can show how big girls always use the toilet.

When she does use the toilet give her lots of positive reinforcement, but don't make a huge deal of it either.

If she uses the toilet try to give lots of positive reinforcement but don't go overboard.

Like I said, this sounds more like a powerstruggle than anything else. Of course you may wish to take her to the doctor to see if there really is some sort of issue, but otherwise it's best to accept that there is nothing you can actually do about it and encourage her to be a big girl.

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