5 year old molested by 4 year old?

Rose - posted on 07/31/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )




My 5 year old told me her 4year old brother( half brother from her father) touches her on her growing and it hurts her. I have contacted CPS, ad litem, my attorney, her father and his mother. The CPS asked my child and she said something completely different to the case worker than she did to me. The CPS doesn't seem very concerned after talking to my daughter. Her father says I am lying and thinks I deserve my my parental rights taken away because of the situation. I was just doing what I believe needed to be done immediatly. Does anyone have advice, ideas or been in my shoes?


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Chantel - posted on 10/25/2013




I was sexual abused at 3 by a 5 year old. I never realized I wasn't alone!!! This issue needs to be brought to light. I think you did the right thing. That boy was never brought to justice, or even punished by his parents because no one thinks a little kid would do that.

Queen Of My - posted on 10/24/2013




I agree you did the right thing. There was a case recently somewhere in a school where a kindergarten girl was caught in the bathroom proforming oral on a boy in her class. Upon investigation it was found that several children in that school (I think 8) had been being molested by a staff member in the school. Bottom line is, a 4 year old should have no concept of sex yet - he has more than likely been exposed to it in some way. Now maybe he innocently saw something on TV but maybe not so innocently he is being touched.
You absolutely did the right thing putting a neutral, trained professional in charge of the situation.
I think your ex will come around. I can understand how intimidating a CPS worker doing an investigation could be and why that would make him angry. Just keep assuring him that it was out of love for your mutual child than out of spite. Whether he agrees with the way you went about it or not - he has to know it is your number one job protecting your daughter - and should find comfort knowing that you will do anything for her. Any rational person would get over being mad eventually and see that you did what you thought was best.

Ann Marie - posted on 09/17/2012




As a child I experienced the same situation with a family member. When my mom wanted me to talk to cps, I wouldn't. I was scared because I was told by the person that harmed me, that if I had told anyone then my parents would never go to heaven. So I was put the fear in me that something horrible would happen if I told authorities and it would be all my fault. Maybe your child is scared and was told something in the same way that made her feel she had to keep it a secret. Make sure she knows that its safe to tell the right people because they are there to help.

I'm really proud that she told you. She obviously feels a sense of security in you and knows it was wrong. That's why she reached out for you help.

Dove - posted on 07/31/2012




He's FOUR!! Why didn't you talk to his parents before calling CPS. Four year olds are still learning boundaries about what is and isn't appropriate.

Thank your daughter for telling you and tell her if it ever happens again to immediately tell him to stop, get away from him, and tell her father.

Appropriate behavior is not instinct. It's learned.

Now that I've read your follow up comment... it is possible that something inappropriate is going on, but I'm more inclined to think that the reason your ex got so angry is that you called CPS on him over what 'could' have been normal 4 year old behavior.

Definitely keep an eye on the situation though.

Rose - posted on 07/31/2012




The siblings are together during the week. They are left unsupervised in their rooms to my knowledge. I wish I could be there to keep an eye on them. I understand child curiosity but fondling another child when the child says no multiple times and when she says it hurts is not okay. They are both so young. I am curious to know why the brother is so interested. I feel that the father has known and is lying. How can there be so many different stories and why is it that my daughter has a new story after going back to daddy's house? Her fathers family is punishing me by not letting me have contact with her until my next visitation all because I am concerned about her well being.

Emily - posted on 07/31/2012




Good for you for reaching out. You did exactly what you should in that situation. I don't think a 4-year-old is really capable of "molesting," but I would be worried about what may be going on in his life. :/ Don't leave the two of them unsupervised from now on. If she reports anything else to you, call CPS again. Lots of times, the child will be intimidated by the CPS worker and so will therefore say something different. Try to ignore the father.. maybe even consider keeping a log of what he says to you. I would be concerned about his level of anger. Is he hiding something?? How often are the siblings together?

S. - posted on 07/31/2012




You did the right thing, you fallowed your instinks, just keep a eye on her.
in my experience kids can play "you show me yours and I'll show you mine" all inersantly but when it goes a bit over the norm it could indecate that the brother is picking it up from somewhere.

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