8year old daughter having trouble with her friends in third grade

Jennifer - posted on 10/02/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I was just wondering if anyone has trouble with their kids at school in third grade. This year is tough my daughter has a strict teacher and she says everyone is mean to her. This is a hard year for third grade does anyone have this issue why do kids have to be so mean especially in a private school I just don't understand and it breaks my heart and they have been friends since pre k. Mommy isn't liking school this year does anyone have suggestions.


Valerie - posted on 10/02/2014




My son has said the same thing every year but this one, but when we spoke with his teachers, they all said he had plenty to friends. I started volunteering at the school during parties and hung out with him at recess once (had to take off some work to do this), but it was worth it. We found out what the problem was....he had several kids come up to him and ask him to play, but he said no to all of them because they all wanted to do something active while he just wanted to sit there. Because no one else wanted to sit during the entire recess, he "had no friends." *eye roll* After a conversation about how he needed to be more active, he suddenly had many more friends than before. Jeez. I summary, it might be good to try and witness what is happening first hand and decide if it's an actual issue or a perspective that needs to be modified type of issue.

My daughter said the same thing in 3-4th grade when the girls started getting cattier. What helped her was to a) be a good friend to all new kids, b) find the shy kids in class who also probably feel the same way and ask to sit with them at lunch, and c) invite girls who aren't mean but she didn't know very well over to play one-on-one. All of the girls were her "enemies," aka girls who were mean and others who didn't want to talk to her. After seeing her in action at school, it became obvious that she was having self-confidence issues that lead to her walking around with her head looking down without a smile on her face and her fingers in her mouth. Well, who wants to talk to a grumpus who doesn't want to even look at you?! After we talked about how we carry ourselves affects how others view us (and even practice new ways of walking and showing openness) and following the 3 steps listed above, she still wasn't the most popular kid, but she no longer felt hated.

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