9 year old coping with the death of grandparents

User - posted on 05/11/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have one son he is 9 years old, in beginning of July of 2010 my father passed away. I was home for 7 days and my mother passed away. then in Feb 2012 my step father passed away. My son has been talking lately about how he does not want for anyone to get older he wants everything to stay the same. He was been having a difficult time at night, ther have been night where he ends up sleeping with me because he was gotten himself so upset that he ends up crying himself to sleep. I have told him that even though they are not here in body they are still in our hearts and we can talk with them anytime we want. Mother's day is this Sunday and he has expressed that he want to go to where they lived. I have told him that we can go there this summer (since it is a drive). He also wants to write her letters which I think is a good idea. I just am not sure it this would help him or hurt him. Can I get some thoughts?


[deleted account]

You're making my heart ache. I know how you feel. In jan 2008 my father had passe away. My mom ended up in the hospital the following day. We thought we was going to loose her, but fortunely we didn't. She wishes that she died with my dad at the same time. We tell her that it wasn't time for her to go. My father in law passed away 1 year after my dad in feb 2009. My children was lost. My one son who was around 9 too, cried and cried when my father in law passed away. My kids were closer to my father in law than my parents. I tell my kids that they are going to see their grandfathers again. I put up a picture of them in the house for them to see. It helps to talk about memories of them and for the kids to speak about them. My father in law used to call my daughter "spidermoney" because she would climb all over him. Well she one day was telling my husband, that "granddaddy is gone and me is no more spider monkey" and started crying. They still talk about them, it's been 3-4 years for them both to be gone. It seems like yesterday that they passed on. The memories help to grieve. Just keep on helping him grieve with his loss. If he goes somewhere where his grandfather was, he might feel more closer to him. My mom, when daddy passed started sitting in his chair and started sitting on daddy's side of the bed when she reads a book, she says is comforts her because she's where daddy was normally at. I guess you can see the memories of that person being there.

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