9 years later and I still have regrets of having children

Twinsmummy86 - posted on 06/18/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )




Got pregnant at 18,found out I was having twins at a abortion clinic... so I went through with it because I didn't want that on my conscience (being honest here). I blew off a college I was accepted to upstate and was asked by they're father to move in so I did ( worst mistake ever). When they were born one came home and the other was born with stomach issues that would keep him in the hospital/ rehab facility for a year and a half. I never got to bond with him he was always in an incubator or hooked up to machines . while pretending to be happy for the hospital social worker and back and forth to the hospital everyday, I would still have to come home and pretend to come home to another. long story short my experience of being a mother is like a song that doesn't end I turn around there's one asking for something while the other is jumping off of something and I find myself having these intense moments of regret like what did do.They're father was present when all the hospital stuff was happening and he did show support but in all reality He turned out to be a dog and out side of the kids I cant stand to look at his face so it just feels like I got the shitty end of this deal and I keep paying for it while this douche bag gets to live his life. I'm filled with so many regrets and it brings me so much sadness I don't know what do with it but I need it gone so I can REALLY be a good mom to my kids and get over the past

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