A spiteful and smart-alleck 10 year old stepdaughter?

Amanda - posted on 02/26/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )




My step-daughter is horrible. And she hates me. (let me clarify: she isn't my step yet as her dad is only my fiance, but we live together). Anyway, my fiance and I fight ALL THE TIME. I don't think we will make it. Anyway, my future step's mom left her when she was about 7...just told my fiance that she didn't want Zoie. So her dad raised her. Her mom has VERY recently started back in her life, and Zoie is estatic. But both my fiance and me have a feeling that her mom is up to something. Anyway, Zoie and I fight constantly. I know that I'm the 37 year old...walk away...etc. But it is so hard!!! And each time Zoie and I fight, although she starts her mouth on me, my fiance screams at me and says I'm picking on her...but I'm not. He lets her call me "crazy" and other derogatory words as well and never truly scolds her. She is my nightmare. I dread her getting home from school...I am lost and confused. These are tough times in my life. Please...any advice??? Thank you.


Ev - posted on 02/27/2015




I would have to agree with these ladies. You said it yourself. And did you ever stop to think that because of the child's mother leaving her at a young age that she is acting out regardless she is happy that mom has come back into the picture. She could still be harboring resentment to her mother and takes it out on you. It also seems apparent that if your man really suspected something coming from mom why is he not on the same page with you regarding the child. You have to understand it from her end of things. She is trying to figure out the why did mom leave and you fighting with dad is not helping.


View replies by

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/27/2015




I agree with the others.

1) You are too negative for this to work. You haven't married, you fight constantly, and you, in your 5th sentence said "its not going to work".

2) If you cannot be the stable, loving adult that this child needs, turn away now.

This may not be the relationship for you.

Dove - posted on 02/27/2015




#1... She's 10.

#2... You and her dad fight all the time.

#3... Her mom JUST came back into her life after abandoning her 3 years ago.

Answer... above.

10 is rough under the best of circumstances... I went through it w/ both of my girls and my niece is currently going through it. Not an excuse for attitude... but a very understandable reason. Hormones... are evil. Add the other two things into it and this CHILD needs help, love, and stability. If you can't give her that... get out now.

Gena - posted on 02/27/2015




I agree with Jodi. And to be honost if i were you i would leave. Not because of the step daughter but because you have already said it wont work out. If you already know it wont work out why are you still in this relationship?

Jodi - posted on 02/26/2015




So, wait. You have moved IN with your fiance, but you fight all the time and don't think you will make it.....and you wonder why you are having issues with your fiance's daughter? Can you please read back over your post, from an outside perspective, and tell me what is wrong with this picture?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms