Absent father wants a possibly one time visit.

Rachal - posted on 02/07/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )





I have a seven and a half year old son who has not seen his father since he was 18 months old. His father is now proposing a visit that very likely could be a one time occurrence or at best very infrequent thing. My son has issues with his father being absent. It bothers him greatly. To the point where he has been trying to set me up since he was about 5 or so. I don't know what to do with this idea. Whether or not I should agree and how I can possibly prepare my son for this.


Cecilia - posted on 02/07/2013




If I were you, I would talk to my son and ask what he wants. Make it clean that you and the father will never be back together. As hard as it might be and as much damage as it might do in the long run it is for the best. He needs to know later on you never kept him from his father. The father made the choices here. Explain to him he might never come back again and that is okay because you will still be there like always. If he says no, which he might, then you have nothing to worry about. Simply tell the father that the child doesn't want to see him and you'll send some pictures his way.

My son is 15 yrs old and his father hasn't seen him since he was 6 months. He will talk to his father on the phone but says no to meeting him. He will not call his father either. He makes his father call him. These are his rules and we just do as he wishes. I know it's rough. It's hard to find that balance of what is helpful and what is hurtful to the child. Honestly do the right thing and even if he gets hurt know it wasn't you who hurt him. He will also realize this also.

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