Absent parent for 2+ years! Now he wants his rights back!

Victoria - posted on 02/14/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




Hello everyone, my name is Victoria,

My ex husband and I got divorced in June 2011 when our daughter was almost 2 years old. I have primary physical custody and he has every other weekend visitations, phone conversations and 4 hour in (Monday, Tuesday Wednesday, Thursday or Friday) to spend with our daughter.
He only showed up once to pick her up and once to dropped her off. His mom was showing up all the time instead of him, 4 hour visitation and phone conversations he never bothered to ask for or call.
We live 2 hours away from each other.
I got remarried in June 2012 my daughter started calling my husband daddy when she met him in November 2011. Since then my husband was a daddy for her.
She hasn't seen her biological father since December 2012. In March 2013 my ex has terminated his parental rights ( because he wanted to get away from Child Support Payments )
I agreed to waive child support payments. ( But his attorney didn't finish the process he have started )
So my ex continued on paying child support, but didn't ask to see our child.
(I had physical abuse filed against him in 2011 and it expired in 2014)
He got remarried in June 2013 and they found out that his wife can't have babies.
So now they want my child.

Today I received a certified mail from his attorney to force current child custody case.
My 5 year old daughter haven't see him or spoken to him for past 2+ years.
She doesn't know who he is, he is a stranger to her.
She loves my husband and she doesn't even know that he is not her bio daddy.
I am really scared for her and I can't imagine what will happen to her when she will find out.
I also have a police report that my ex hit our daughter in the face.

I don't know what to do and I am scared for my little girl.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Please help

***We live in state of Pennsylvania***


Sarah - posted on 02/14/2015




I'd find a good Family Law attorney and have a consultation before you make any decisions. This topic of a child believing that a man is her bio-dad when that is not the case has come up a few times on this site recently.
Since your child has not seen bio-dad since she was three, and he gave up his parental rights before she was four, I don't necessarily think she needed to be told about her father before now. Even if your ex did successfully give up his rights, she'd need to find out about him to have an accurate medical history and because it is the truth. It may not be the easiest thing to tell her and a good child psychologist can help you with the conversation.
The bottom line is this man is her father, and he paid support and did not give up his parental rights. Supporting your daughter and helping her understand the dynamic of her family is the only thing you can focus on now.

Ev - posted on 02/15/2015




Do as Dove said. One question: When did he hit your child in the face and when was that police report done? Did he get prosecuted for it? Because if he did, then he might get only supervised visits over it depending on the law and how long ago it was because of statutes of limitations on some crimes.

Dove - posted on 02/14/2015




Get a good lawyer and find out what your options are... and tell your daughter the truth about having two dads.


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