Adult children

Angie Daniels - posted on 02/04/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




My 25 year-old daughter has a 5 year-old son, who I am very close to. I practically raised him from birth until about a year ago, when she got married. She's always been jealous of my relationship with him and withholds him from me whenever she wants to punish me. Besides being here whenever she needs me, I drive 20 minutes each way to pick him up from school, then wait for her to get off so she doesn't have to drive to my house to pick him up. If she doesn't need me to babysit, I don't get to see him. She's always bitchy and ungrateful no matter what I say or do. Last weekend she let me keep him overnight because she had plans but as soon as his dad wanted him the next day, she demanded that I bring him to her at work so his dad could pick him up. When I said no, she threw a fit and when that didn't work, she showed up with a police escort. My poor grandson was confused and upset. We were baking cookies and he didn't even get any. She just dragged him to the car with no explanation. I haven't responded to her texted apologies because I don't even know what to say. My question is, what specific boundaries do I need to set? I can't take any more of her drama but at some point I'm going to have to talk to her. What should I say?


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/05/2016




I'm wondering why you felt it was your place to interfere with a visit between the child and his biological father?

Sounds as if you BOTH need to set boundaries.

Michelle - posted on 02/04/2016




This is a hard one because the child is stuck in the middle and being used as a possession on her behalf.
Does she have visitation orders with his Father? If so then why would he all of a sudden get his son if it wasn't arranged?
Maybe you need to step back a bit and stop being available when she needs you. Let her know that you would like to see him regularly and not just when it suits her.

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