adult children

Lucille M - posted on 10/06/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




I have three adult children living with me and my husband . My husband wants them out but I think times are hard and need our help. He is making me make a choice either the kids or him. I'm so torn.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/07/2014




Why are your adult children still living at home for free?

ANY adult should expect to support themselves. If they cannot,what is keeping them from doing so? If you're allowing them to freely live in your home, without expecting room/board and other contributions, OF COURSE they're going to stick around.

What is expected of them? Do they contribute at all?

Would your husband be willing to allow them to remain in the home if a contract was written and adhered to?

Sorry, but even my son, as soon as he turned 18, recognized that he needed to be an adult. He got a job, he wrote a contract for room/board/expectations in the home (that was extremely reasonable), and he adhered to it. He didn't expect me then, nor does he expect me now to pay his way. In fact, he recently went through a job change, and even when he didn't have steady income, he STILL did his damnedest to NOT ask us for help, even though we were more than willing.

Dove - posted on 10/06/2014




If they are adults... how about they get a place to rent together? Even w/ times being tough... splitting rent 3 ways won't be so bad. Do they have jobs or are they in school full time? How much do they contribute to the household?

I don't think any father would want to kick out his struggling adult child if they are really working, contributing, and trying to make their way... and just needing some help. The fact that he's made it an ultimatum... leads me to believe this isn't the case... I 'could' be wrong and he may just be a 'brute'... but w/out any additional information I can only go off of my first instinct.

Michelle - posted on 10/06/2014




Are the children contributing to the household? How old are they?
As soon as I left school and got a job I had to pay board and also cook a couple of nights a week. I also had to help with the cleaning and washing.
If your children aren't helping out then I agree with your husband, they need to learn about the real world. Keeping them at home because "times are hard" isn't helping them. Every generation have had their own tough times but we have all survived.

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