Adult son, age 51 has cut me off from him and my granddaughter

Shelly - posted on 07/23/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




I believe my son, age 51, has Aspergers syndrome, although he has never been officially diagnosed for it because when he was a child, they did not know of this disorder. He has an extreme anger issue towards me but since he married 22 years ago, his wife took complete control of him and she made him cut me off from their lives. They have a daughter, who is now 17, who I have not seen in 4 years. We live in different states, I am in CA, they are in Illinois which makes it harder for me see her very often, but even when I want to visit them, it has been difficult. To cut to the chase, my son wont communicate with me, does not answer my phone calls, emails, and my granddaughter does not either--as she is either under the control of her mother or she may also have this disorder. My son was labelled as ADD and LD in school and she also has had learning issues. I have given up on trying to reach my son, as he is totally rigid and unresponsive, which is how he has been his whole life, I want to see my granddaughter but how and what can I do when I am treated like this? It is very difficult.


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Raye - posted on 07/23/2015




Your son is an adult, and can choose not to have you in his life. He can choose who he is married to, and until the child is 18, he's responsible for what the child does, too. Why do you feel you have to control him? When the girl is 18 and can make her own decisions, try to develop a relationship with her. She may not want to, and you should respect her choice.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/23/2015




I'd have to say, you need to examine what happened 4 years ago. Apparently they felt there was a reason to cut off contact, and until you figure that out, you may not make any headway.

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