Adult son and his new girlfriend

Valerie - posted on 07/29/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




It all started when my son came to me and said he was breaking up with girlfriend of 6 years. He said he was not happy and not ready to move out! My son is 24 is an assistant Manager for 9 years. Very responsible and we have always been close. He came to me that same week and said I found a realtor and I'm ready to move. I was surprised ! His dad and I said ok we will help you look. He bought a beautiful condo and we helped his move. Then we noticed a new girlfriend was moving in also. He said he had know her for two years. He was cheating on his girlfriend of 6 years. He new I didn't approve and we don't even know this girl. Then he got very sick and had to have surgery. While in the hospital my family noticed this new girlfriend using his credit card. I said something to my son about this and he said he felt guilty that she was there everyday at the hospital and she needed gas. I even talked to this girl with my son present about how I don't approve of the cheating, moving in together,using my sons credit card . Especially when he told us he was now worried about the medical bills and just buying a boil


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/29/2015




1) according to you, your son had broken up with the old girlfriend, moved out and moved on. Why is it a problem that he had a new girlfriend?
2) isn't it quite presumptive on your part to assume that he and the new girlfriend were seeing each other prior to his breakup?
3) isn't it overly controlling of you to be intruding on his personal business at all?
4) presumably, you don't know the entire human population of the world, so why would you be upset about 'not knowing' the new girlfriend? Usually, once a kid is an adult, and on their own, they don't bring the potential partners over to the folk's house for 'preapproval' before they start dating or interacting. That's a bit controlling, imo.
5) "while in the hospital, the family noticed the girlfriend using his credit card"...OK, well, he pretty much told everyone he had given her permission, correct? So, none of your business from that point on. Stop spying on the girl, for God's sake, and get a life (or lives, since it seems as if the entire family is involved) of your own!
6) You must be a pretty pushy lady, to not only try to control who your adult son associates with, but to pull her aside and let her know how little you 'approve' of her.

Hopefully his relationship lasts a lifetime! I'd suggest you find a hobby, or two, or ten. You need to let your adult son live his life without your constant interference and attempts to control him and his situations.

When my mother presumed to lecture me about how my husband (yes, HUSBAND of 20 years at the time) was spending HIS money (the only money he earns 'on his own', since he's disabled), I invited her to leave my presence and not return until she both apologized to myself and my husband for interfering in our private lives, AND she admitted that she was in the wrong for being presumptive and critical of a situation that she had no business even attempting to have an opinion. So, in this case, I'm totally on your son's side. You have no business in his business.

Michelle - posted on 07/29/2015




There's nothing you can do. He's an adult and can live his life the way he wants.
You can voice your opinion like you have done but you have to let him make his own life choices.

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