
Sara - posted on 05/30/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )
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I am at the end of my rope with my children's grade 2 teacher, they are twins and are both in her class. In the beginning of the year we had some issues with her that we tried to deal with her about, and since then she targets my children constantly in the class. She repeatedly screams at them, says humiliating and demeaning things to them in front of the rest of the class, so much so, that other children have repeated the comments, saying, 'Ms. ___ is right, you are the slowest person in this whole class". She called my daughter rude. mean with disgusting behavior. My children have NEVER had any behavioral issue whatsoever, every teacher has always commented on how well behaved they are, and any parent who has had them over for a play date has commented as well on how well behaved they are. I think my children are really reliable, they have actually never complained about a teacher yelling at them before this year, and they have teachers for other subjects this year that they never complain about.
If someone else is talking to my daughter and she tried to ignore her friend to avoid getting into trouble, this teacher will always blame my daughter.
This teacher is young, I believe this is her first teaching position, and last year she worked as a resource teacher for the school. I have caught her in repeated lies, she has walked by me on many occasions without ever saying hello, she denies saying the things that she says to my children, but I believe my children 100%, they have never complained about ANYONE in the past.
In the beginning of the year, there was a field trip and this teacher asked for volunteers but when I volunteered she told me that she already had enough parents. I asked her very politely if she would allow me to participate in the next field trip. She replied in front of me and my husband 'for sure.' Well, the last field trip took place last week, and I volunteered, and she sent out an email saying that she picked parents from a hat, and I was not chosen. I later found out that 5 parents got to go including ones who have had NUMEROUS opportunities to be involved in the class. My children wanted so badly for me to be there, and were so sad when I told them I was not chosen. I asked other moms, and from what I can gather, she accepted everyone who offered but me, who has 2 children in the class and has never had the chance to participate in anything in the class. This was particularly upsetting for my kids because I have had little chance for involvement in the past because of working a lot of hours, but this year I told the teacher about never having had the opportunity and that I do have time this year and it would mean a lot to the children.
My daughter sprained her ankle this year, and this teacher was repeatedly asking her when she will no longer have to use the crutches, and her friend who teaches the class next door was also constantly questioning my daughter about not having a cast and why does she need the crutches. So we brought medical documentation in to the office from the ER in a children's hospital as well as from her pediatrician stating that she needs the crutches, and when the office gave it to this teacher she played dumb and said I don't know why the parents brought a note, they didn't need to. She is extremely manipulative, deceitful, immature and spiteful and vindictive and it gives me chills to have my kids in her class. The receptionist in the school office then looked at my husband and I as if something was wrong with us, and said she is just asking about the crutches out of concern. But I know the difference and the type of comments my daughter got were, 'I could understand if you had broken your leg' and once the teacher even threatened to take the crutches away from my daughter.
I have contemplated switching my kids from this school which is a private school by the way,because the principal seems to be completely naïve and unaware, when we approached her about the crutches she says it must be a misunderstanding because this teacher is so warm and has such a good understanding of her kids. This could not be further from the truth, the teacher is continuously screaming at the kids, demeans and humiliates them in front of the rest of the class, and is completely inexperienced as well. She has barely taught my kids anything all year, they have barely advanced, and in email correspondence from the teacher, there are usually numerous spelling errors, so how can this teacher teach English, writing and spelling properly.
I am really uncertain of how to handle this and am partially inclined to just bite my tongue and let it slide. My fears are this is a small private school, and it is not government subsidized so it has a hard time retaining good English teachers who would rather go to the public system where they have more benefits. I worry that this teacher will have gossiped about my husband and I, and that even if we remain in the school next year we will have problems because of malicious gossip provided by this teacher. I know that may sound a bit paranoid, but I have heard of horror stories in small schools of lots of gossip amongst teachers and then kids and their parents being unfairly treated. I have contemplated switching my kids to our local public school, but we are zoned to one of the public schools in our area that does not have a good reputation for its education, and my children have a lot of friends and it is painful to uproot them when they are happy socially.
Does anyone have any advice on how to handle such a situation? I would welcome responses from teachers as well.
I am astounded, when I was in my 20s like this teacher and starting out in my career, I was extremely respectful towards patients/clients/parents. I would never have taken an attitude like that. I can't believe she can get away with that, but it also disillusions me that there are such malicious, spiteful and deceitful people out there.
THanks
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Alicia - posted on 05/30/2013
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From a mom who learned the hard way, do NOT let it slide. Your children depend on you to stand up for them when they are being wronged. I wish I could give you good advice on how to approach this, but I think you just have to decide what you think would work the best for you personally.I would pull my kids from the school based on what I read, but only you know what is best for your situation. I am very opinionated on this subject because of my own experiences with this exact thing and could go on for days, but really the only thing that I can say for sure is DO NOT let it slide. :) Good luck Mama!
Alicia - posted on 05/30/2013
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I've been where you are. Small community, teacher saying things to my child, not wanting to cause problems, gossip, etc. It was awful! I let it go on for far too long and I fear it has impacted my child's view of school permanently. Don't make my mistake. I ran into this again just 2 years later and I, again, had no idea what to do. I knew the principal very well and I went to him with a stack of papers to prove she was failing my child when his work was done correctly. Long story, but basically he's lazy and wasn't doing anything in class, she told me he was slow and had a learning disability basically (just as an fyi - we have done the testing and a million other things. He is incredibly smart, just lazy). She told me it was too hard for her to ask him to turn in his homework! I got one email that finally sent me over the edge and I responded, copied the principal, and called her out on everything. The principal made her fix his grades and she stopped failing him, but it was miserable for me to deal with. I don't know if any of this is helpful to you at all, but you are not alone.