Advice needed please

Brittany - posted on 08/22/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




I have a 7 month old son who is so cute and getting very curious now. My inlaws have a boston terrier who is a TERROR! She is known to nip at the kids around the pool before I had children and all my mother in law would do is yell at the kids for getting in and out of the pool. She refuses to put the dog in the crate when the kids are over or even put her in the house while we are all outside because she will bark and bark. The dog is not made to obey at all. If you ask anyone.. that dog runs the house. Anyway flash to recently. My son was like 5months old and I was holding him. The dog was behind me (I couldn't see it) and jumped up and bit my son o the ear. It didn't cut his skin but his ear was red and he screamed and screamed. Therre was also a little indention in his ear. My mother in law was like OH, She just scared him.. and I'm like then why is the one ear red? I saw her nip it. Another time my 5 year old nephew was at the house. His mother was holding the dog and walked him out to the school bus. She bent down to kiss him and the dog bit him in the face cutting his lip open on either side. If that were to happen to my baby I would FREAK!!! Now.. I don't want to make my in laws seem like bad people they are great and they love my son, which is why I feel guilty for not taking Tripp back over there since their dog bit him on the ear. They won't put her up though! We've asked! They always say oh if you dont let her get close to him she won't like him. Whatever. Make your dog listen. Anyway. they invited my husband and myself to a cookout for one of his relatives birthdays. I want to go. We haven't seen that particular relative in awhile, but I know that they aren't going to make their dog mind! Thats not the only thing either. They try to feed my son stuff without me looking. Like when he was 5 months they tried to give him potato salad with chunks of onion and egg in it. He doesnt have teeth you know. Then they make fun of me when I refuse to let them give it to him. I don't know it just makes me really uncomfortable. What should I do about the dog situation? In a nice way? and also what can I do, nicely again, about them always doing things I've asked them not to with my son. I.E feeding him things I don't want him to eat? Things that would hurt his stomach?


Chet - posted on 08/23/2013




I really struggle with stuff like this. On one hand, people are taking unnecessary risks with kids. On the other hand though, I know that there are huge benefits to babies and children developing strong bonds with family and trusted adult friends, and that any normal, healthy life is full of risks and gambles. Parents who are too fearful of risk can do a lot of damage to their kids. It's hard to know at what point do the risks outweigh the benefits when you're talking about people who legitimately love your children, but who just don't recognize the hazards of what they're doing. Anyway, in the case of babies, my solution was mostly to use a soft carrier and wear the baby. The baby was involved and could see everything, but especially if I was standing up and walking around, people and pets weren't so inclined to invade my personal space to get to him or her. We have four kids and a lot of extended family, and my experience is that you can rarely talk people out of the kind of stuff you're concerned about. I don't know why, but people love to feed babies. And if they gave ice cream to a 4 month old in 1960 or 1980 and he "grew up fine" then these doctors today just don't know anything. Similarly, my experience with dog owners suggests that your inlaws are not likely to change their ways unless something really bad happens and it scares them. You may get somewhere if you can rally some other family members who support you and will plead your case with the baby feeders and dog owners on your behalf, but the way you describe the situation, I think you need to be proactive.

Gena - posted on 08/23/2013




I would phone her and tell her that you will only come if the dog is locked up and tell her that it made you angry feeding your son stuff that he cant eat yet.If she says no she wont lock the dog up then dont go.It would be very sad that she puts the dog befor the grandchild.My aunt once gave my son something he wasnt allowed to eat at that age.I didnt know about it and the next week i saw her she asked me if my son didnt have stomache cramps and was laughing..i was like HUH?She said her husband was eating and that my son was staring at the spoon so they gave him and he liked it.I was WTF?!I was sooo upset. The next time i saw her i kind of ignored her and she asked if something is not ok so i told her that i dont appreciate it feeding my son stuff behind my back and that it realy hurt my feelings.She apologized and then only realized it was wrong to do that.

Breanna - posted on 08/22/2013




It's your son you have to protect him. Why take him over if he is in possible danger? If they love him they will get the hint and lock the dog up. Something worse could happen you never know. I wouldn't go over.


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