Advice on out of state father

Jessica - posted on 12/14/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hi. Ok I havr a 4 year old son. His father and I haven't been together since my son was 4just months old. His father lives in OK. and my son and I live in AR. His father has him right now because I believe that I shouldn't try and keep them a part. He has always been a good father, but now he won't answer my calls or anything. He wont tell me where he lives so I can pick my son up and won't meet me either. We never went through a custody hearing but in my state law it says that since me and him were never married that I have custody of him(I read that online), can I call the police in the town that they live in and have them get my son? Can he legally do that and avoid talking to me? His state law may be different and my son was bor n in OK but we jave livedhere since hr was 4months


[deleted account]

First, the information you got online regarding custody in AR is incomplete.
You do automatically get custody of your child, but he also has rights to take custody at any time unless you have a court order.
Now, the laws vary from state to state regarding his rights to keep your son from you, so you may get lucky there.
First, you need to contact the police in his town and inform them of the situation. You should be able to get his address as well. If they will not give you an address, there are companies online that will get it for you for a small fee.
Next, hire an attorney who is familiar with law in both states, and take him through the court system to legally establish your custody arrangements. You WILL need an attorney now that he has moved out of state. A court orders for custody usually specify that the parents must get special permission to take a child out of state or to move residence out of state, but because you are already in different states, you probably will not be able to get that into your order.

Depending on the laws in OK, you may have to leave your son with his father until after the court date, however many states will put the child back into your custody until the court date if you can prove that you have been the custodial guardian up until now (show them receipts for preschool, day care, school assignments, doctors visit records, etc. anything to prove he was living with you).


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Ev - posted on 12/15/2013




This is why you should have established your custody through the courts instead of just not doing that at all. It would have protected the child and even you in some respects if you had done so. I can already tell you from other women I do know that calling the police no matter where the child's other parent lives is going to do no good without that custody order in place. There is nothing they can do since you did not file for that court order and get it. As far as most are going to say, he has as much right to the child as you do and does not have to give the child back. You also have to consider he might just file for custody in OK rather than AR and the laws in both states are different to an extent. So you need to be prepared to show that evidence you have had the care of the child for the last four years. You also need to be prepared to be called to OK for custody as well not just Arkansas.

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