After having a sick child how do you get them in their own bed?

Marsha - posted on 07/30/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )




My little girl was ill as an infant, I placed her in my bed because I was scared of what may happen when I was sleeping. Now she is 7 and I am starting to wing her out of my bed into her own, but I still worry some what do I do for myself and her to make our selves comfortable with the change?


Neva - posted on 07/30/2011




At 7 years old your daughter can certainly sleep in her own bed, and should be encouraged to do so. It is easy to get into the "over protective parent mode" when a child is sick, but if this continues, it can become an unhealthy coping mechanism. I would have a talk with her and tell her that she will be sleeping in her own bed, and that you know that she can do it. I would do a regular bedtime routine every night such as snack, bath, potty, jammies on, teeth brushed and then story time in her bed. You can read to her or she can read to you. Then tuck her in, kiss her goodnight, remind her that she is perfectly safe in her bed and that you are in the next room, however, don't give her the impression that she can come into your room whenever she wants or you will have her back in your bed. Don't fall for the excuses that are sure to come like "I'm scared, "I'm thirsty," "I need to go to the bathroom," etc. because these are really just manipulations, especially if you've taken care of all those things in the bed time routine. If she gets up, tell her that its bed time, walk her back to her room and put her back in bed. Resist the temptation to hover, lay in bed with her, talk to her at this time, because then she will think that there really is something bad about staying in her own bed and will also try to manipulate you more. If she gets up after the first time, then just walk her back to her room without talking to her. Continue in this manner until she gets the picture that she is going to be in her own bed. After the first time bringing her back and saying its bedtime, don't speak to her at all the other times. When she wakes up in the morning after sleeping in her own bed, tell her how proud you are of her and that you knew she could do it. The first night should take the longest to get her to sleep, be consistent with the routine every night and she will understand that she can't manipulate you into staying up or sleeping with you and within a couple of days she'll be sleeping the whole night on her own. If you are worried about an illness, you can always use a baby monitor so that you can hear her in the night if an emergency happens. You have to remember that in order for her to grow and have good self-esteem, she needs to have these successes and see that she can conquer her fears. That will also help to ease your fears.

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