Aggressive stepson -

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I married my husband in July of this year. He has 2 sons which he has full custody of both (ages 9 and 12). I have 2 children also (daughter is 13 and son is 9). My stepsons mother dealt with and continues to deal with alcoholism, as well as psychological issues which causes what I consider aggressive behavior (she would physically and emotionally abuse my husband and break items around the house). He says his boys never suffered from the abuse and my husband acted as a guard to protect them. His oldest son who is 12 has a temper. He can go from being so sweet and loving and then last night (just an example), he was aggravated at a school assignment and busted the laptop. I was home with him and the other children. He called his dad crying and told him the truth. The 12 year old told him he got mad and broke the computer. He slammed the end of his trombone into the laptop screen. My husband grounded him but didn't specify what he's grounded from. The 12 year old talks back to people in the house. He's very disrespectful. I just don't think grounding him is enough punishment. About 2 hours after it all happened, my husband asked him if he was even going to apologize for it. I can't just sit back and let this behavior get worse. I think counseling is needed. Thoughts?


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/18/2013




Counseling should have been a part of blending the families to begin with.

What "more" do you want your husband to do to the kid? He's confessed, he didn't lie about it, and while dad wasn't specific about what the grounding was (time wise or from what), he DID punish.

I'd say to get dad to sit down with the boy, and outline what the grounding entails, and then respect his decision.

Most teens have a period of total brattiness. This could be part of his issue, or not, but if he's already in an abusive parental relationship because of his mother's alcoholism, you demanding "more punishment" isn't really going to help.

Counseling. For him, for the entire family as you blend, for you and your husband as the parents of a newly blended family, and possibly also for his two kids together as part of their healing process for the alcoholism they have to live with.

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