Ahhh can't take it!

Momof1 - posted on 12/07/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




Okay, so my son just turned three. Until this past August, I was only working weekends, with the occasional weekday if my husband had off from his job. (We don't have family or friends who live close enough to help out.) Starting at the beginning of August, I found a babysitter close to my job. She is excellent and I got very good recommendations for her. My son started going there twice and week and he did fine, was well behaved and polite. Then at the beginning of Sept. he started a daycare preschool. He now goes there twice a week and the babysitter once a week. All I get it good reports about him. He's nice, listens, cleans up... At home he isn't nice at all. Well he is, but some days he isn't.

I know what everybody says about kids acting differently around other people and I get that. But it seems he went from being a good kid (we didn't have "terrible two's") to being a not nice kid. And again, I understand this could be a stage. I just don't understand why I can't get him to listen to me or clean up at times. Sometimes he is great, other times not. Or sometimes he'll refuse dinner (and he eats everything.) I'm the strict parent. I don't back down. No means no and if he doesn't listen after three times, he goes to time out for three minutes. I'm not saying his dad isn't strict, but he gives in more then I do. However because he is out of the house for 12-13 hours a day, he only see's our son for about an hour a night, but then he has him on the weekend while I'm at work.

I just get so aggravated and frustrated like I can't do it anymore. I don't want to yell, but it seems I can't help it. I know yelling isn't effective, but I don't know what to do. I ask him why won't he listen like he does at preschool? Why does he yell when I know he doesn't there? I just don't understand. I don't know what to do. He had a big fit earlier and I put him in timeout and he sat there yelling. He gets frustrated at his new train track so he throws the pieces or yells. I tell him to ask me if he needs help, but he is not allowed to throw or yell. He eventually goes back to yelling and throwing. Maybe it is because on my days off I don't know what to do with him. He plays very well by himself and I'll help him make a train track or build his blocks, but otherwise besides sitting with him, he seems to have everything under control.

How do I stop getting so frustrated when he doesn't listen and how can I stop yelling? Is there anything I can do to get him to behave better? Could him going to the babysitting and preschool be causing him to act out? He used to behave so well, along with the occasional bad behavior, but now it seems constant.


Jessica - posted on 12/07/2012




He knows his momma loves him no matter what and so acts how he's feeling. At three all of my children (3 boys) acted the same way. Went from being well behaved, good listeners, good helpers etc all the time to almost the exact opposite. Its a stage in development, they are realizing they are and independent person and trying to work out their feelings. I am also the stricter parent and can loss my patience at times so some things that helped me were to constantly use feeling words when/if appropriate, I would tell my little ones that I wasn't going to fight with them and with that I had to remember to not yell. This also meant a little extra work for me because if they weren't picking up toys for example I would have to stop whatever else I was doing to help them help me (take his hand and pick up a toy put it in toy box while talking to him about minding, etc). Some days are just tougher than others and some stages are easier than others but we get through them. Sometimes I even use mommy timeouts to regain my patience. Hope this helps.

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