am i a bad mom?

NICOLA - posted on 01/01/2010 ( 204 moms have responded )

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hi all my son will be 3 in may and he is still in nappys i have tried to potty train him so many times but he refuses to use the potty just pees all over the floor. i do want him to be out of nappys but i am not gonna pressure him to do something he does not want to do. everytime i see someone i know and if they ask is he out of nappys and all i say no and there like WHAT REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!! like i am a bad mother or something should i already have him out of nappys or are all kids different. any advice on potty training is muchly appericated. thanx

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[deleted account]

Hello Nicola. I can tell you as a qualified and experienced nanny, Childminder, Mother of three and Grandma, you are not a bad Mum. Children do not come with manuals, or remote controls. Every child is different and learn at their own speeds. This does not mean they are behind others. It just means they have so much to learn, take in , experience within the first 4ish years of their life's they do it in different stages. The one thing I tell my Mothers is

1.you know your child better than anyone - you’ll know when they are ready to do something.

2.Do not give in to outside pressure.

3.Remember - by the time children go to school they can walk, talk, run, jump, are out of nappies and anything else you worried they were behind on.

4.Never compare your child to another ever, they are all individuals not clones.

5.Each and every child is their own person with their own special abilities and gifts.

Please don’t worry love, he will get there, in the mean time enjoy your precious gift they grow up all to fast.

As for the potty training I would take all the pressure of him for a few months until the summer. Far easier to do this summer time. As everyone for some reason seems to be relax and happier.

Then prepare him for the idea by talking to him about the toilet/potty.

How big people don’t have nappies.

Read him stories that are about potties, not wearing nappies etc.

Afterwards leave the potty around. perhaps teddy would like to use the potty or any game that does not involve him using it.

Let him know that both you and Daddy use the toilet and other big boys and girls.

When he wants to use it make a big thing about it, lots of praise. If he ever has an accident do not tell him off. An ops a daisy, or oh-dear is all it needs and move on. Just praise him lots when he gets it right and be consistent.

I have to go my two year old wants some ‘help’ meaning my attention lol. They are so demanding bless them.

I hope this helps love and does not sound like a lecture - I’m sorry if it does.

God Bless you and yours.

Debbie x

Christina - posted on 01/02/2010

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Hey Nicola, here is how I see it.... some time we moms worry too much about what others think and we just need to relax and go with the flow of our kids. When I had my first kid everybody was telling me I would have issues with getting him to sleep in his own room, problems with him taking baths, problems with him sleeping through the night, yadda, yadda,yadda..... I had none of the problems they all told me I would have. Every child is different and develops differently and at different speeds. My 1st one was an early bloomer and my 2nd one was a late bloomer. If I remember correctly my 1st one was potty trained right before his 2nd birthday and never wet the bed at night, however my 2nd one was still in pull-ups (big kid nappys) until he was almost 4 years old and had a couple of "night accidents". I just figured that he would be potty trained before his 18th birthday and if not after he turns 18 it would be his problem (lol). Anyways, relax he will come around when he is good and ready and the more relaxed you are about it the better he will do. Good luck!

Patricia - posted on 01/01/2010

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First of all YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM! Actually you are a VERY GOOD MOM for knowing your child and taking ''cues'' as to when he is ready for something such as potty training and other stuff. My boys were about 3 1/2 and almost 4 (when my 3rd child,a boy, was diagnosed with autism, I didn't even BOTHER to potty train him and he learned on his own at almost 3 1/2-4 years old.).
What worked for my sons is I had their father potty train them. It didn't go much faster but they responded better when they learned from their dad. If your son is only 3 that is not unusual at all for boys not to be potty-trained until about 4.
Take care
&
God Bless :)

Dorothy - posted on 01/01/2010

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I turned potty time into story time with my oldest and gave him a reward for sitting there after 5 mins wheather he pottied or not. That turned potty time into alone fun time with mommy. It took a lot of the pressure off potty training.

Laura - posted on 01/01/2010

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I always heard that boys take a little longer to potty train. And he's 3 - my son wasn't fully potty trained through the night until 3 1/2. We did stuff like putting cheerios in the toilet to let him "aim" and everytime he did good he got 1 m&m for going #1 & 2 m&m's for going #2 - he'll let so know when he's ready good luck

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Tyetta - posted on 01/09/2010

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No you are not a bad mother, I actually am going through the same thing. My youngest son will be three in July and can sit and hold an entire convo with you but refuses to use the potty. He can say and id all his abc's and numbers up to twenty but WON'T GO TO THE POTTY. Keep in mind I have have two other sons who are now 14 and 10 and both were trained before they were 2.

Anna - posted on 01/09/2010

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I have a 4yr old. He was not potty trained until he was about 31/2 years old. And he did not get use to the ideal until for a long time. I started potty training him when he was 21/2. My son was very resistant to the ideal that he was going to go potty by himself. I started talking to him and found out a couple of things. (1) he was afraid of the change in our time together and (2) he was afraid of the toilet water thinking that he would fall in (3) he was unsure of himself about being able to do this on his own. I found this information out when he was 3 yrs and 4 months by talking to him. From there I devised a plan to build his confidence and assured him that he will always be my son and I will always love him unconditionally. I spent extra time with him and we played games about going to the potty and books about going to the potty. I changed the part was very important, him from diapers to pull ups and got his favorite character, from the movie Cars, Lighting McQueen. I told him that Lighting McQueen did not like to be wet and he needs to make it to the bath room. I always explained to him that he has steps to reach and conquer and that I will help him from one building step to the next, so that he will do a good job. I also sent him to the bathroom with his Dad, so that he get the ideal of what he should be doing to do number 1. It worked he had succeeded with number 1 the first 3 weeks. Number two took a little longer, and when he missed number two. I could see in his little face the disappointment he felt in himself. The look on his face said it all. I did not punish him by setting him with extra time on the potty. I just talked to him while I cleaned him up and let him know that I was still proud of him. And that I will help him get to the potty on time. I would watch him in the morning when he get up to see if he gave his personal signs of having to go number two. He would go either in the morning when he get up or in the afternoon about an hour after lunch some times. This is important too. To be able to help him recognize his own body telling him he has to go number two. Some times I was early and I would encourage him to sit there and he would go number two. And we missed some times when he got up to soon. But he finally got it and has been going every since. So don’t think you are a bad Mom the mere fact that you are asking for help lets us know that you are a good and loving mother. With every child it is some thing different and uniquely special to the child and with mothers love, knowledge of your child, and understanding with lots of praises(even when they miss, find something to praise them for in their effort and this will help them learn. Just remember to be patients and talk to your son. Don’t worry about the people that are critical of you or your child because he has not got it yet, they are only going by their on experiences and you and your son are just going through yours, remember don’t compare him to other kids help him to reach his next step, work together with your son, so keep the faith he wants to please you. I hope this helps you in some way and get you started.

Nicola - posted on 01/09/2010

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My youngest also resisted toilet training. when she was ready she did it herself within a couple of days. when he is ready it will happen. you are NOT a bad mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michelle - posted on 01/09/2010

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No your not a bad mother. I haven't had to potty train a boy yet! (my son is 3 mths old) but is not easy and unfortunately kids don't come with instruction manual. Your right not to pressure him but do keep potty available and seen and if he does happen to use it make a very big deal of it and if he wees on your floor don't react to it at all cause that what he wants. Just clean it up. Kids are amazing and in time you might find that he will just click and catch on. If you have a man around get him to let your son see him go toilet. Sounds bad but if he sees dad doing it he might want to be just like him. Good luck x

Adele - posted on 01/09/2010

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I wouldn't worry about nappy, he is giving you a break!! !Does he go to bed on time?

Adele - posted on 01/09/2010

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your son need to be potty trained now before he turn 3, specialy if you are planning to send to school. what I would suggest to you is that; take a break for 3-5 days then start over; buy kid's book or movie about potty trainning and have a good conversation with him about it,2- take him to the store and have him pick his own underwear, 3 have him trhow away all the diapers and let him know that he is a big boy now that he doesn't need it anymore. and let it go, of course he will have a couple or more accidents it is okay. please do not get frustrated and bring the diapers back. both my boys where potty trained before they turned two.

Gillian - posted on 01/09/2010

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I am still traumatized by my last experience with potty training. My son loved the potty when he was about 20 months old. I have a picture of him sitting on the toiled reading a magazine happily awaiting his bowel movement. I knew that it is common for kids that age to potty train and then regress later. Since we were going to have a baby soon and I didn't like the idea of prying myself out from under a nursing infant to deal with a poop emergency, I decided to wait on the venture. Besides, all the books said never to push a child into potty training. I was assured by the doctor who gives advice on the radio (I went to one of his workshops) that boys are often well into age three before they will train. So what. He could say that. HE wasn't desparate and I was. One day I just couldn't stand changing another gross diaper of a three year old, especially in my sleep-deprived state. After dinner the whole family marched down to JC Penney and my son picked out his own Spider Man underwear. It was a wonderful moment for a glowing, proud, tired parent. What I didn't know then was that it is easier to change a poopy diaper than it is to separate a three year old from his poopy underwear without re-decorating the bathroom in brown. The “bathroom” had re-positioned itself to behind the blue chair in the living room. I had also read not to get mad at your child when his (or your) attempts at potty training fail. Well, I wasn't getting much sleep at the time, and not getting mad was getting increasingly difficult. Those were dark days. That period in my life passed very slowly. The “laugh or cry” attitude I usually have was severely lopsided. I didn't think the potty training would ever be over. The story gets worse. One evening my husband and I found ourselves alone at the dinner table. By some miracle of events, the kids had been fed early (which almost never happens) and my daughter was playing “waitress” with our dinners and doing a wonderful job to boot. Ah, the silence. Silence! No parent of toddlers ever really wants to hear silence. Then the unmistakable smell began to waft over our stolen matrimonial moment, followed by “eeewwww he pooped in his underwear!" The dinner was ruined. The moment was ruined. I'm sorry but I was furious. That was the seventh pair of underwear in less than a week. I later discovered why parents are not supposed to get mad at their kids for pooping in their underwear – because then they might start pooping in the closet. It was my first year being a daycare provider. I had six and eight year old brothers who came to my house and wanted to toss each other around my living room in brotherly love. All the other kids thought it was great fun and wanted to join in. Somewhere in the mix I realized that my son was missing. My heart sank all the way to my intestines. I knew where he was. Well, not exactly where, but I knew he was in one of four closets, pooping his brains out. I caught him mid squat in the baby basket that was in storage in my bedroom closet. The most eloquent words couldn't have given me a clearer message than the act of pooping in the baby basket. I ran downstairs and yelled at all the wrestlers, grabbed the nearest five year old girl to help me (whether I was being sexist or not for picking a girl didn't matter at the time. I just picked the best person for the job), and rushed back upstairs to deal with the poop and the pooper. Thank God in heaven a parent arrived, and I put him in charge of damage control in the living room. I did my best - given my frail emotional condition- to contain my anger. I'm sure an onlooker would have seen steam coming out of my ears. I spent a lot of time sniffing and looking around for poop during those days. Once I had on a flannel shirt, and someone pointed out that some “brownie or something” was stuck on the back of my shirt. Sure enough, there was. Or was it NOT a piece of brownie? Upon close inspection my mounting fear was confirmed. It was dried poop. Quite a large chunk of it. That was the flannel shirt that I put on and took off all over the house all the time. There was no way of knowing where I had picked up the poop.

I eventually got on line and perused story after story about people's toilet training trials. I read several stories about kids smearing their feces on walls. “Thank goodness my kid isn't doing that.” said to myself. It was my only saving grace. Having worked at a camp for severely emotionally disturbed children where the graffiti on the bathroom walls was unmistakably written in feces, to have my kid smear his poop would have been the end all. In a state of delirious panic, I called my friend who is a doctor and mother of five. She assured me that if my son were five or six and pooping in the closet, well, that would be a problem. But she assured me that since he was just potty training and had a new brother, it was normal enough and I shouldn't worry. “Well, at least he's not smearing it like those kids in the on-line stories.” I assured her and myself.

As time went by, ever so slowly, everything eventually fell into place. My son is a very responsible bathroom-goer and seems to have come through the whole process unscathed (unlike his mother). However, a couple of months after I had put the whole toilet training venture behind me, I was cleaning my son's closet and noticed some brown streaks on the wall. “That's not... that couldn't be... oh, no. yes, I think it is...” There turned out to be more poop camouflaged on the brown closet door. Thank goodness time had healed at least some wounds. I calmly questioned my son about it and he sheepishly admitted that he had in fact “painted” the wall with his poop. If I had known about this during the time we were toilet training, I don't know if I could have handled it. Thank God for small miracles and the color of wood.

Gillian - posted on 01/09/2010

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I have heard many experts say that kids, especially boys, should be well into three before you even begin to potty-train. Somewhere I have a story about my experience, I'll try to post it.

Natalie - posted on 01/09/2010

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All children are definitely different! You are not a bad mother! I was where you are now just a few months ago with my daughter. Actually she was going potty before she was a year old and almost trained and just stopped, then she was over 3 before I could take her from home with just underpants on. I had tried everything I could thing of and taken a great deal of advice, but to no avail. Then I decided I needed a break from the stress and I guess she did too because all of a sudden she started asking to go potty and it just took off. Now 3 1/2 she started having accidents again but I am blaming this on a recent move and my now working more hours and being away from her more, because when I am with her she does fine!

[deleted account]

3 is still a baby but still possible to potty train him. Has he actually watched his Daddy do this? Or any man for that matter. The less you make of it the better but he has to see what he is supposed to be doing. Grandmother and mother of two.

Erica - posted on 01/09/2010

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U ARE NOT A BAD MOM. ALL KIDS ARE DIFFERENT. MY SON IS 6 AND IF HE FEEL LIKE TAKING A NAP I ALLOW HIM. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ALL CHILDREN SHOULD BE ON THE SAME LEVEL. POTTY HIM THE BEST U CAN SOMETIMES I THINK I NEED TO RE-POTTY MY 2 GROWN MALES THAT R HERE. JUST TELL YOUR FRIENDS YES REALLY.

Lucy - posted on 01/09/2010

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Your are not a bad mother in any way, shape or form. Many kids, esp. boys are not ready to even think about training until they are three. Some because it is their only control over things. Some because the brain just doesn't get the signal that it is time to go. If they are under any stress, it may take longer. As one pediatriatrician said, "I've never seen any 5 yr. old going to school with diapers on." (Exception would be special needs kids.) Some times treats work, and sometime they don't. Sometime just leaving potty chair available, and tell him it's there for him, if he wants to use it.It is far from the worse thing in the world to have an unpotty trained 2 and half yr. old. He'll go when he is ready.

Lucy - posted on 01/09/2010

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Your are not a bad mother in any way, shape or form. Many kids, esp. boys are not ready to even think about training until they are three. Some because it is their only control over things. Some because the brain just doesn't get the signal that it is time to go. If they are under any stress, it may take longer. As one pediatriatrician said, "I've never seen any 5 yr. old going to school with diapers on." (Exception would be special needs kids.) Some times treats work, and sometime they don't. Sometime just leaving potty chair available, and tell him it's there for him, if he wants to use it.It is far from the worse thing in the world to have an unpotty trained 2 and half yr. old. He'll go when he is ready.

Sarah - posted on 01/08/2010

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Make him run around in wet underwear he wont like that. My son didn't learn to pee right untill I had another make show him.

Janet - posted on 01/08/2010

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I really wouldn't worry they all do things when they are good and ready and if you worry he may pick up on it...My 4 yr old daughter hated the potty and wouldn't go on it at all...she went straight onto a booster seat on the toilet she saw what her older brothers and sister did and wanted to copy...have you got friends with children of a similar age that he might want to copy?

Annette - posted on 01/08/2010

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dont fill bad about it he will go when he is ready my kids were the same they were 3 or 4 before they come out of nappies so he will toilet train when he is ready

Katie - posted on 01/08/2010

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My daughter was 3 in September. In the 8 months since I bought her the pretty princess pink potty chair that she LOVED, she has peed in it 7 times, and 4 of them were in the last 2days.



My best on the subject? As the mom, it's our job and our responsibility to try everything we can until we have to let it go for a while, and then try something new, till they get it. Or retry something old, maybe it'll be the thing that motivates them now. The most consistently successful motivator I've found is my intense and joyful approval of her cooperation with peeing on the potty. So far, NOTHING ELSE I"VE TRIED has really motivated her; videos bored her, treats and stickers could easily be done without in favor of keeping the diapers, but here's a key point that I've suspected being part of the reason my girl's been slow to train; I won't tolerate more than two "accidents" before I'll just revert to diapers full-time rather than have that mess to clean up at least once a day; I've seen it too often, with friends and in forums like these, the women who thought that "Give them up and don't go back." meant "even if they pee and poo all over your house rather than in the toilet." No one ever thinks to remind themselves and everyone else that a given tactic should only be followed through with for as long as IT'S WORKING!! and if taking nappies away means one or more puddles on the floor or furniture without any sense that they will try harder to remember the potty next time, then taking them away for good no matter what is not what I'd call "working."



In the last 2 days, I've been taking the "Diapers are only for bedtimes" route. She asks for diapers, but has been willing to use the potty eventually. I make it convenient as I can for her, which means bringing it around to various rooms of the house. And if I think she wants a diaper to poop in, then she gets it. Luckily, that typically coincides with siesta time anyway. ;) We flush her poop every time, she carries the diaper and lifts the lid and ring and I help a bit to make sure the whole thing doesn't end up in the bowl. Then she gets to flush, and I explain every time, in the fewest words possible, that this is how we get to be done with diapers, by just sitting here when we pee or poo and then flush, weeeeeeeeee. She bizarrely LIKES to help clean up the mess, but can't get on board with simply preventing the mess to begin with by just using the potty. And it's littlekid logic like this that makes potty training hard for many parents.



A friend said something to me that helped me stay sane. "Their bathroom habits are one of only a tiny few things that they totally control. The sooner you get ok with that, the easier it'll all be." If you, like me, are invested personally in their potty success, feeling that they should be getting it by now, feeling like the people who are judging you poorly because of this are right to judge you, your little one is going to pick up that vibe and dig in even more. On the upside, if you can use that to generate a real and unprecedented joy and excitement for his next success, and couple that with some extra just fun do whatever he wants time till the next time he's ready to be a big kid and maybe you can build up some positive momentum. That's where I'm at, just praying I can keep the momentum of success going. It'll mean getting him involved in helping clean up the next accident, but also that you are TOTALLY CHILLED OUT about it. This really is one of those things that cannot be benefited by anger or even annoyance. Just move on to being totally excited for the next success as you remind him to try to make it to the potty next time, because we don't pee or poo on the floor or furniture, or in our clothes.



All the other treats and bribes and stuff, you can try it and should, but only stick with them if they work, is all I'm saying.

Kimberly - posted on 01/08/2010

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Oh Honey do I know how you feel!!! My son just turned 4 years old and we just finally were able to get him potty trained about 5 months ago. We had tried to potty train him many many times he just didn't want anything to do with it, not at all!!! You are NOT a bad mother. He just does not want to use the potty yet. When people would ask me that I would just tell them I have tried and he wants nothing to do with it. Every child is different and when he is ready to use the potty he will!!! Just keep trying every now and then and see when he is ready to do it all the time, he will let you know!! Hope this helps!!



Also to encourage our son.....he LOVES Hot Wheels cars and they are only $1 at Wal-Mart....for every time he would go potty in the big boy potty he would get a star....when he would get three stars he would get a car....and when he went poppy in the potty he would get a car!! After doing that for about two and a half months we changed it to if he had no accidents all day right before story time he would get a car...we did that for about a month and then changed to $1 a day because he has WAY too many Hot Wheels!!!! On his 4th birthday we stopped this!!! And he is doing GREAT!!!! He hasn't had an accident in about a month!!!



Good Luck!!!

Krisanne - posted on 01/08/2010

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My daughter is 3 will be 4 in Aug. still in training pants she is getting the hang of it but we did away with the pull ups (glorified diapers) we went with the waffle pattern underpants with plastic cover pants that really makes her uncomfortable if she is wet which is what we want or she really likes Dora so we put real dora panties on her and she is so afraid that she'll get them wet she actually tells us she has to go potty. Keep at it and create alot of boundries for your boy thing is they get so busy it is hard for them to leave their activity to go potty we have a potty in our living room so she feels that she is not missing anything and reads books or builds blocks while on the pot give him fun things to do only for potty time he'll volunteer to sit on it if its a potty activity that he likes.

Shannon - posted on 01/08/2010

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NO! You are not at bad mother... some boys can be VERY tough to train. I'm the the process of training my 21/2 year old boy. We just decided, all or nothing, and took the diapers off. We did a lot of laundrey the first two days, and now he hasn't had an accident in two weeks! Pooping is harder, and you really have to watch for the signs. We found that he needed to pee in his pants a bit, to realize what he was doing. The diapers kept him so dry, that he was unaware of what was happening. Now he still wears a pull-up at night, but he is rewarded for asking, then again for going, and he's figured it out pretty quickly. I was also told by a nurse friend of mine, that they don't reccommend starting until they are 3 years, because most boys just aren't ready. So... don't beat yourself up, and if you make the decision to try again, don't get discouraged by a few days of extra laundry... he might surprise you if he gets the idea without diapers keeping him dry! GOOD LUCK, and hang in there!

Karissa - posted on 01/08/2010

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one thing that i've learned about potty training is that you won't get anywhere with it unless the kid is ready and willing. my sisters little boy was almost 4 before he was potty trained because he didn't want to leave what he was playing with to go potty, and he used to tell her "its okay mommy, you can just clean me up". she tried so hard for so long and got no where with him. so she stopped, and took the lead from him. you're not a bad mother for listening to your heart about your son. some people just think that you have to go to the beat of their drum. plus, boys are way harder to potty train than girls, so i've heard...good luck!

NICOLA - posted on 01/08/2010

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thanks every one for your comments it was very encouraging to hear that i was not the only one with training problems. oh and thanx for all of your great tips x

Michelle - posted on 01/08/2010

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my little boy is exactly the same im stuck for ideas too an he gonna be 3 may 28th too, he does exactly same if i leave him withouit nappy he will pee an poo on floor, so dont worry ur not the only one

Jaimi - posted on 01/08/2010

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i think if you are asking the question am i a bad mom that shows that you care enough not to be, so definitely not a bad mom. some take a little longer then others. another good method that the boys enjoy show him that he can make bubbles in the toilet. they always like that one.

Bec - posted on 01/08/2010

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you know what my bf's sister is 3 and in nappys like you said you dont want to pressure he will use the potty when hes ready despite what anyone thinkks there is late bloomers and early bloomers keep trying to get him to use the potty coax him with lollies or toys and let him see you goto the toilet so he knows its ok, my bf's sister is the same but she is slowly learning that she is a big girl now and nappys are for bubbas, so just persevere and dw about what anyone thinks :)

Bec - posted on 01/08/2010

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you know what my bf's sister is 3 and in nappys like you said you dont want to pressure he will use the potty when hes ready despite what anyone thinkks there is late bloomers and early bloomers keep trying to get him to use the potty coax him with lollies or toys and let him see you goto the toilet so he knows its ok, my bf's sister is the same but she is slowly learning that she is a big girl now and nappys are for bubbas, so just persevere and dw about what anyone thinks :)

User - posted on 01/08/2010

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This may sound odd but i potty trained my daughter in a resturant i told her that if she used the potty she could have anything on the menu she wanted . she learned real fast or if we needed to go to the corner store id say go use the potty and if you do you can choose any snack you want . worked for me

Malgorzata (Margaret) - posted on 01/07/2010

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NO your not a bad mother! When he is ready he will let you know! And yes every child is different. My nephew wasnt FULLY potty trained until he was almost 3, and my son started going #1 when he was 18months and #2shortly after that, BUT we are still having some trouble with the whole through the night thing. We always encouraged our son to come into the bathroom with us and see what was going on and how it was done. Then one day after we moved into the new house he took his diper off and came running through the house telling me that he had to peepee. Ever since then he has been in "undies." But I know how you feel when someone says "WHAT! REALLY?" My son WILL NOT give up his passie! I took all of them away, and after he lost the one that he had, I told him that i didnt have anymore. That was the worst month of my life with him! and he's 2yr 4wk now and still has it. He dont have it all the time, just when he dont feel good, time for bed, or after he just got his butt popped. Other then that, he dosent have it. So just dont force him, when HE'S ready he will let you know, just keep asking, and keep taking him to the bathroom. If you force him it may even take even longer. And dont yell, pop him, it may just scare and turn him away from it. GoodLuck!

Jana - posted on 01/07/2010

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When on disposable nappies it does take longer for boys. Raised mine on linnen nappies and he hated being wet so he was potty trained at 14 months. Don't worry about what other people say, as long as the 2 of you are satisfied with the flow of things. Like my mother always says - by the time he go's to school he will be out of the nappies and not drinking from a bottle.

Melissa - posted on 01/07/2010

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i have a 2 yr old boy who i have just recentley started to potty train .i think all kids r different n will do things in there own time n they will when they r ready my little boy wont let me tale him to the toilet but on occasion he will just use it himself n we r happy with that

Sara - posted on 01/07/2010

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i have a 4 year old boy he was hard to train to it takes time but he will do it...try and tresure chest buy stuff from the dollar store everytime he goes potty give him a lil something or u can give hime a cookie and every week that he goes every day then give him a toy...the other thing is they look at pull ups as if its a diaper for a big kid stick it out with the underwear and it will work better...good luck

Stacie - posted on 01/07/2010

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Absolutley not. I showed my children where the potty was. They knew what it was for and I would ask them to sit on the potty when I had to. I never forced it. I did not focus on it, nor did it take over our days. It was almost like my children potty trained themselves. I was told by a mother who raised 18 children, some her own and some her nieces and nephews, that all children will train themselves. You can not force a child to train when they are not ready to. If you try to force it, you will have the opposit effect and they will actually stay in the nappy's longer. I took her advice and it worked great. My children decided themselves when it was time to potty train. My sister-in-law has a child who refuses to train and the child is 5. You are not the only mother who is going through this. Ignore the other women and don't let it bother you. It sounds like you are on the right track by not forcing him to train. Keep up the good work.

Amy - posted on 01/07/2010

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i had one trained before her 2nd birthday, one after his second birthday, and one who decided we could wipe his butt until he was 3. Different kids, different temperments, different personalities. Still the same mom. No one knows your kid except you and unless you have a doctor telling you something is wrong, your fine!

[deleted account]

obviously all kids are different in the way they develope .. wait until he gets to school and the other mums begin to compare things scholastically and athletically! my only concern with your statement is when you say that you don't want to "pressure him to do something he does not want to do." that thinking will get you into trouble in the future .. that's what mom's do best!!! we help/pressure our children into doing things that they may not want to do .. but we know that they are things that may be best for them .. you'll know in your heart what's best .. do it for you and your son .. never worry about what the others will say .. they will always find something to talk about : )

User - posted on 01/07/2010

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Not at all. I had the same experience with the potty training thing and was told I was wrong. A child's bladder isn't fully developed or capable of the potty training until nearly 4yrs old. I encouraged the big kid underwear, bought items for my son to sink/aim at in the toilet, made a chart with stars and if they made it a week, we took them to a special place of their choice like Chuck E Cheese. Once that offer was on the table, my 2 older kids did it within a week and never looked back and they were 3 also.

User - posted on 01/07/2010

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Not at all. I had the same experience with the potty training thing and was told I was wrong. A child's bladder isn't fully developed or capable of the potty training until nearly 4yrs old. I encouraged the big kid underwear, bought items for my son to sink/aim at in the toilet, made a chart with stars and if they made it a week, we took them to a special place of their choice like Chuck E Cheese. Once that offer was on the table, my 2 older kids did it within a week and never looked back and they were 3 also.

Theresa - posted on 01/07/2010

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My daughter was just a little over 3, I tried to get her to use the potty. She was more than ready but just dug her heels in. One day she just did it. Don't worry about what other people say, I personally have never known any kids that have started school not knowing how to use the toilet. Don't sweat it and good luck.

[deleted account]

Two of our boys were over the age of four, and the other two were three. If you push it he won't want to. No big deal, he'll do it when he's ready... Try having him sit if you are having him stand, or stand if you are having him sit.

Anita - posted on 01/07/2010

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If you're trying and not giving up....that's all that matters. Just be consistent, he'll come around

Nichole - posted on 01/07/2010

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I think all kids are different. You are not a bad mom. Do what you feel is right. When your son is ready to accept the potty he'll use it. Don't listen to everyone else.

Chioma - posted on 01/07/2010

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You are just doing fine as a mum. Donot be scared of a few messy situations, get him an interesting looking potty and get him a star chart. F or everytime he uses the potty give him a reward and cheer him.

[deleted account]

No you are not a bad mother at all. Infact, you are a good mother for being concerned. All children are different when it comes to potty training. Some take to it easily and others dont. When you know he's ready he will show an interest and will show you signs. He probably wont use the potty and will go straight to the toilet and chances are he will do it when you least expect it. So don't stress out too much and let nature take its course. My son wasn't fully toilet trained until he was 3. All the best! xx

Gloria - posted on 01/07/2010

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Nicola--don't be too alarmed about this. Boys tend to take a bit longer to accomplish some training tasks. I had girls but I did have a stubborn one--my last. We moved just at the time she turned 2 and the pediatrician advised me to postpone any weaning and training until she got settled. She finally did get weaned and accomplished the potty chair, thank God. She's 23 now........

Cindy - posted on 01/07/2010

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this is normal for a boy. wait until summer make it a game to water the trees or something. lol. he will potty train when he's ready. my son is 5. i thought he would never potty train. then one day he just made up his own mind thats what he wanted to do. he hasnt pottied on himself since.. day or night. patience is the key

Andrea - posted on 01/07/2010

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Putting a few cherios in the toilet & making a game out of it worked for my son. Also maybe try treats. Make a box of his favorite things & when he goes potty he gets to pick something out of the box but if he has an accident he has to put it back. This worked for my granddaughter.They also carried the potty wherever they went.

Blackwood - posted on 01/07/2010

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Not a bad mom, kids will do things on thier own time, all we can do is try to help them along, have you tried putting fruit loops in the toilet to get him to aim for them? It has to be colourful, cheerios won't work as well. You can try that, some people might not like this idea, but I've suggested it too a couple mom's and it kinda make it a game not a "must". Best of luck

Fiona - posted on 01/07/2010

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You are absolutely NOT a bad mum.

Kids have their own agenda for developing ~ we just didn't get the manual!!! Hang in there & it will work out in the end. As long as your kids are happy & healthy, trust that all else will fall into place. Good luck!

PS I have an almost 3y/o daughter who isnt terribly interested either, so am feeling you on the nappy changing......

Rebecca - posted on 01/07/2010

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My first son potty trained around 3 & my second son just before his 4th birthday. Boys are a little harder to potty train than girls (my daughter was potty trained at 2) because they can't feel that they need to go as easily. Try throwing some cheerios in there & let him shoot at them =). Read books & sing songs together while you wait for something to happen & when it does make a big deal out of it with a special made up song & hi fives. You can go to pampers web site & print out a chart or potty picture & every time he succeeds you can let him pick out a sticker to put on it. Take him to the bathroom every hour for 5-10 minutes & you will see him begin to understand what you want from him & because you are mommy he will eventually give it to you. Be patient, calm & understanding during accidents as they will happen & if you yell he wont want to try anymore. It took about 3 weeks for my youngest to get it down & one day we just left the house in underwear & didnt even think about it until we got home & realized "Hey!" Good luck!

Claire - posted on 01/07/2010

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You're not a bad mom. My youngest son was not potty trained until he was 44 months. We had to find the right motivator. He wanted a two wheel bike, so we told him that he had to stop wearing diapers and he could get whatever bike he wanted. It worked. Just hang in there he will do it when he is good and ready.

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