
Jacks - posted on 07/04/2011 ( 22 moms have responded )
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i have full custody of the children. due to their dad having a drug problem. he stood up in court and told the judge that he would rather the children be with me then stop his drug use. and now he wants me to allow the kids to go to his house. he has supervised visit and feels that i should allow him to take them to his house. i give him 4 hrs a week to spend time with his children and he dont show up all the time. now that i am wanting to move to another state he is wanting to stop me.
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Pnina - posted on 07/06/2011
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It might help if you explain to your children that their father has a sickness. That the choices he is making are not healthy for them to be around, but he is not making them because he doesn't love them. My mother did this for me and had me pray for my dad. It helped, and I stopped feeling like I wasn't good enough for him to be ok. I wish you luck with this. Stand strong for yourself and your children and be safe.
Stifler's - posted on 07/04/2011
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no! i would be taking steps to make sure he never is near the kids again.
Jacks - posted on 07/06/2011
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everyone has been alot of help to me so i want to say thank you. i have done some research and found out that i can move. i have also found out that if i wanted to i could take all rights away from him since is has been longer then six months since he has made any effort in doing what the court order. however i do want my children to know their father and i would not want anyone to do that to me. i will cont. to offer him visit with the children and even bring them to see him as long as he wants to be a part of their life. i am not a cold hearted person but i do want to move on with my life and make it a better one for the children. my children are having a hard time right now not being able to spend time alone with their dad. and i dont want them to blame me. yes i still have to put up with him calling and fussing at me and coming to see them and him saying things to bring me down in front of them. i have called the police more than i count but nothing is ever done. what i dont understand is if he is happy with amy and they are having a baby why is he still wanting me to come back to him. he dont understand that i am done and i am moving on. he dont understand the love i once had is gone yes he was my first love but it died when he chose the drugs over his children. i think i have said this before i am not the best mom i too was on drugs but i got myself clean and did what i was suppose to in order to keep them. i have been clean since 09 and never even thought about going back to it. when cps step in my life it made me a better person. he had the same chance i did but he is the one that stood up and said that "the children would be better off with their mother then with me i will never go to the drug classes and i will never stop using" when i heard those words it broke my heart but i knew then what i had to do. and that was leave with my children in hand. my words to the judge that day was your honor i can always find another man but i can never replace my children. when i leave this courtroom today i am kicking him out of the house. and i did but since i lived on his family land i had no choice but to get off their place. I was a cna at the time and got hurt on the job so here i was walking with a cane and a walking boot. going to work and taking care of three children. and now that i have better myself he is trying once again to bring me down trying to make me feel like it is all my fault this happen to us. he is trying to blame my family cause he feels it was them that turn us in. i look at like this even if it was my famiy i thank whom ever did it caue it made me wake up and see that i was not a good mother dont get me wrong they were well fed and clothed but i didnt spend tiem with them like i should yes i washed them and put them to bed at night but i didnt really interact with them. inless there father was not home. and i know i got off point but that is to give a little more background to the even. i feel if i was able to give up the drugs for my children why couldnt he. and now that i am the person i am today he wants me back.is it b/c he sees i am happy and i dont need him. someone asked if i could get in trouble if i let them go the answer to that one is yes i can and yes my rights could be taken also. i am still in touch with the case worker i had. we have become very close she helps me and the children when ever she can she cant give me legal advice but it is b/c of something she said to me that made me want to make this move. i have alot of support and i love it and i know i will miss my home town i have been here for 30 yrs come the 11th but i know this is what i need to do. i have a job line up and a house already mine there. so as i see it,it is already better. so thanks again to all that has responded. at least i dont feel so bad about soing the right thing anymore. and after explaining to my children the reasons not in detail why they cant go spend alone time with daddy they seem to be ok. my daughter seems like she is back to her oldself again the boys still dont understand why he only wanted to take her and not them but i dont have a answer for that so i made up one dont know if it was the right thing to do or not but i told them that he wanted to take her and leave all b/c he thought that if he only asked for one i would say yes knowing that he would not leave without the others so he would bring her back and hope that the next time he would be able to take one of you. then after they talked to their dad tonight i must have said the right thing cause my oldest look at me and said mom you were right. sorry i know it is alot to read and i will stop but i hope you all understand alittle better what i have been going threw the pass 3 years. thanks again and i wish you all the best...
Nova-Dawn - posted on 07/05/2011
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My two oldest now 9 and 8 haven't seen their father since the younger was only a few weeks old. same thing drug and violence. I gave him a year to clean up or he would never see them. Needless to say he never did, now that they are a bit older and I have a husband and other kids they have asked about their real dad, So I've told them he wasn't nice and needed to learn how and until he does he's not allowed around but if he still isn't around when they're 16 I will tell them my side and if they still want to find him I will help put them in touch. Also to make that a little easier I have kept tabs on him so I know where abouts he is. It really depends on the situation but just put your kids first and do what you know is best for them to grow up healthy functional adults, Hope it all works out for you
Katherine - posted on 07/04/2011
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You are allowed to move to another state. I'm sure the judge will grant it. Do some research :)