Another Baby? Finances really tight

Katarina - posted on 03/10/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )




I have an 11month old Son and would love to start trying again for baby #2 but my husband is really worried about money. Our financial situation is pretty tight but I feel we could really make it work.

I have respected my husband's feelings but my heart is aching for another baby.

Should I put my own feelings aside and work on the money issues first? I feel that there is never a perfect time to have a baby but you always make it work.


Kate CP - posted on 03/10/2010




Uh, yea. I know how you feel about aching for another baby (trust me, really know the feeling) but having a baby is a two person thing and you can't go against what your husband wants. He's not saying NEVER he's just saying not right now.

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Take "inventory" on your motives. Why do you want (or feel like you need) a baby right now? Are you still young? Do you have some time to figure all this out? Are you getting "up there" in age? Do you feel like you're running out of time? Examine WHY you feel like you need to do this immediately.

Most women might tell you to go for it but honestly, a married couple needs to be on the same page for the most petty decisions, let alone one as life-changing as this.

If finances is his issue, can you get a job? If you already have a job, can one of you provide for the family while the other goes back to school?

How important is this for you vs. what are you willing to sacrifice to get it?

Dana - posted on 03/10/2010




Such a hard issue. What ever you do, just keep in mind that it really is something that men worry about much more than women. It's been ingrained into them from childhood that the husband must provide. It's really stressful for men. Try and sit down with him and figure out the finances. Is it that he's just too worried or is he right?


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Christina - posted on 03/11/2011




Talk to your husband again and see if you guys can reach a compromise. My husband and I have three kids, ages 5 3 and 1. We decided to start trying for our 4th baby after Christmas, which we did. My husband got laid off from his job at the end of January. Since neither my husband, or myself, couldn't find another job, we lost our only source of income. Unfortunately we are in the process of moving back in with my parents because we can no longer afford the rent. We talked about postponing having another baby until we were financially stable but both of us decided we wanted to go on and keep trying for our next baby because we don't know if we'll ever be stable financially. Sit down and talk with your husband. Your husband's intentions are good and I respect that but at the same time you might not be financially ready for a long time. As long as the bills are paid and you're not living in the street, I see know reason why you should wait. Hope you are able to work something out with your husband! Good luck!

Amie - posted on 03/14/2010




i have the same problem i have a 6 month old n didnt plan another after my 43hour labour for atleast 4 years.i was 19 years old jus got engaged my partner n i had a great jobs (i dont now) between us bought home $3500 a fortnight and everything was going great we jus bought our first house.we went on holidays for 3 weeks come home to find out i was 4 n half weeks pregnant i was happy yet unsure if i wanted to do this right now i come from a very bad split family and hoped to give my child everything i never had. i thought i was to young but my partner 21 at the time was over the moon absolutly loves kids and he comes from a very big happy family of 6 kids who also struggled with money.i stuck it out n thankful i did we have the most beautiful baby ever..i only had a 2 door car that i had bought only 1 year before and was not licenced to drive my partners v8 i had to sell my car n buy a new one to accomodate.which really stretched the budget then..i worked very hard and am not used to jus sitting at home altho i love my daughter and love watching her grow i really miss work n my friends as my partners family lives an hours drive from us n i rarley speak with my parents n day care is so expensive i have no one to look after her to help out with the car payments and mortgage..story of my life i no but my point is if everyone waited untill they were ready for marraige n kids everyone would be 45 with no little to no debt own there cars have a steady income and atleast 10 grand saving incase anything happens..things in life arnt easy i learnt that the hard way but life is wat you make of it..i guess i feel your pain so much coz i found out i am 4 weeks pregnant already.and am really scared of the same thing..good luck xxx

Teresa - posted on 03/12/2010




my grandmother had 21 children and i dont think she actually planned everyone of them. no one starved and no one was malnourished. we all stuggle, so why not have an extra someone to take care of you when you get old.

Abbie - posted on 03/11/2010




Knowing what I know now, I would have waited to try for #2, but since we haven't conceived yet ( in this perspective) its ok. I wanted #2 around that age, but seriously money is not the only issue. they are just starting to really get moving and playing. You will really start getting your hands full in a few months.

As far as money, many will tell you you can make it blah blah blah. Do you really want to wonder where you will get yoru next meal, or pay for diapers for pay for milk?? I personally would give it a while. Work hard for 6 months and try to get ahead of bills.... I don't think that is a big time frame.

Danika - posted on 03/10/2010




we fell pregnant on the pill twice, 11months apart my two boys are, we are now on one wage rent our own place get two new cars and serioulsy dont get that much income, you have to deal with it sometimes we fall short and live on a couple of dollars a week sometimes, but its you how goes without, if you can do that you can get through anything.

Emily - posted on 03/10/2010




If you haven't already, sit down and create a budget. Figure out exactly how much money is coming in and how much you need each month for bills, food, utilities, etc. Then figure out how much extra you'll need for another baby. You may find out you have room to spare, or you may find areas you can cut back, and talk to your husband about it. Sometimes men respond better to cold hard facts than emotions. :) But on the other hand, if you figure out you won't be making ends meet with a new baby, it might be better off to wait. You don't want your family to suffer either. True, there never is a "perfect" time, but the stress of struggling financially only gets worse with another baby.

Iridescent - posted on 03/10/2010




You should consider money, but if an "accident" honestly happens, you shouldn't let money make your decision for you. You say money is tight. So what can you do to make it easier? There is usually something! Guys are generally based in logic; if you can determine the cost of the baby per month, with supplies, and a way to cover at least most of that (cutting back costs, working at something from home, education plans going so you can earn a fair income and he could stay home, just find something that works for you), he'd likely be much more willing!

Lauren - posted on 03/10/2010




i feel the SAME way! my son is 10 mths, and i would love to have another one. but with Dad in School for law enforcment til spring of 2012. we know we could make it work. but worry about money all the time takes away from fun time with those kids. u have one baby already, double what u spend each month for him. put what u would be spending away. and make a goal. say from a year from now. u've saved this much, and ur financial state will probably be different. and talk about it then. but have a goal to discuss it again. me and my husband have agreed to wait til he graduates. so u know graduation night..=0)

Megan - posted on 03/10/2010




Like you said, there is never a "perfect" time to have a baby. Trust me, my little bundle of joy popped up just as we were planning our wedding!! Sit down and talk with the hubby and set a goal with him. Put a certain amount of money into a "baby account" every month and when you reach your goal thats when you start trying for another. Make it realistic, don't say that you are going to put $400 into the account if you know you can't do it. My hubby and I each put $100 into a savings account each month and if there is anything extra we put it in there as well. I know that you may want a baby right now, but don't put too much pressure on your hubby cause that may push him away and then where does that get you?

Cassandra - posted on 03/10/2010




I dont think you want to pressure your husband to try if hes not ready. A lot of relationships have ended that way. Financial issues are everywhere right now, especially with the economy. I think you should take a little while to work on the money and save. You never want to be unprepared for a baby =)

Meghan - posted on 03/10/2010




I don't think that there is ever the perfect time for a baby! Money is always going tbe tight right? I understand what your husband is saying because money is very stressful! I am a single mom and I am aching for another baby too...obviously wouldn't be the best choice! Maybe wait it out and keep talking...who knows what will happen 6 months from now? Could hit a jackpot! Good luck and chin up!

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