Anxiety about a second pregnancy/childbirth - anyone else?

Dot - posted on 12/14/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




I am a married 35-year old mother of a 3 and a half year old. It was not until recently that I began to feel interested in adding another child to our family, but I just can't seem bring myself to go through pregnancy, countless appointments, childbirth, recovering from birth, and newborn again! Does anyone else feel this way? I actually had a pretty uncomplicated pregnancy and childbirth and easy baby, so can't I just leave it as that and enjoy my one successful experience? Does every mother feel ridiculous pressure to have more than one child? With the first, I was naive to all that is really involved, but now that I have been through it, I know the intensity and difficulties ... and I can't get over it and I haven't forgotten it. Anytime I think about having another baby, I have flashbacks to the fatigue and my poor painful vagina (sorry, but its true). How do other mothers forget about this and have multiple children? I am the oldest of 5 and I can appreciate the importance of a sibling ... but time has not made me forget. If my husband could carry and birth the baby, I think I would be ready for a second child. And I am actually very interested in adoption, but it also seems like a very lengthy and expensive process with potential risks and downsides.


Sarah - posted on 12/14/2015




There are always risks and downsides just as there are always rewards and upsides. Some people don't ever want kids and are not cut out for it, others only want one, and then there are some that want a huge family. There is no right or wrong. We are all different people. For me I loved being pregnant each time and miss it some when I am not pregnant. My youngest is 7 months and I am starting to miss it again. I also love the baby stage, sure there are lots that I don't love, but that is overriden by the things I do love. Adoption is also a very rewarding and magical thing, but yes there are risks. You have to be willing to take those risks to get those rewards.

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