Anxiety about In-Laws and Baby

Kristen - posted on 03/10/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




Okay, so.. here is my situation. My mother and I have always been very very close, and of course, I look to her for help with our new baby (12 weeks old). I am back to work and get off at 5. I take JDP to daycare around 7 every morning and do not want him there for 10 hours a day, so my mother picks him up when she gets off at 330 everyday and takes him to our house. My MIL and FIL, who are divorced, are already starting to contact my husband complaining that they never get to see their grandson, which is not true. We may not see them every weekend but we do see them at least every 2 to 3 weeks. Plus, I have never said they are not welcomed to come see him at our house if they would like. My MIL is already starting so push that she wants to pick him up from daycare and that she wants to watch him (without us around) and I am so not ready for either or.

Backing up a bit, to explain my feelings about my MIL. She and her new husband got engaged when I was 7 months pregnant, which was great. I was so happy for them. BUT, when they announced that their wedding date would be within a week of my due date, I was FURIOUS. This is her 3rd marriage. I had a C section 2 weeks early, and not to mention, 3 days before the wedding. We came home the day of the wedding. My husband was told by his father, her ex, that he should go to the wedding to support his mom, which he did.. did I mention THE FIRST DAY HOME WITH OUR NEW BABY. I was so hurt and upset. I looked to my parents instead of my husband starting at that moment, specifically my mother. Anyways, that is just a little contribution to my feelings for my in laws.

Back to my point, the more my in laws contact my husband and complain, the more furious i get. As i stated, I have NEVER kept him away from them, and yes, my mother does get to see him more, but my father (my parents are still married) does not get to see him as much. My mother is only helping me, not trying to get more time with JDP. Again, my son is only 12 weeks old. There will be plenty of time with all the grandparents come due time. Am I wrong to feel the way i do?


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/10/2014




I think you're making a bigger deal than it needs to be. It's typical for a new mother to favor her parents over her spouse's, and yes, it can cause tension in the families.

If you are allowing your mother to spend unsupervised time with your child, your husband has every right to allow his mother the same privilege.

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