Any opinions on dealing with visitation?

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/03/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )




I've been divorced from my ex husband for 6 years and we have a nearly 7 year old girl whom he's finally decided to do the real visits with last year (either because his wifey talked him into it or because he can do it at his place in GA instead of having to go to NY) and I allowed him 2 weeks last year even though the court order was only for one. Our daughter told me when she got back that he was at work (he's in the military) for most of the time and she stayed with a baby sitter.
Well fast forward to this year because I just had another baby and got married to my husband who's a Canadian citizen. As I stated above I was living in NY and he lives in GA. However next month I move to British Colombia and he's still in GA. We went to court for a few months because he was insisting he needed joint custody (I have sole custody because of some actions of his back in 2007 and the fact that he's in the military) since he was afraid that I was trying to keep his daughter from him. The judge told him to come up to NY for the trial and he never came up so I still have sole custody, But we did change the visitation a little because now he has to fly from GA to BC.
Part of the change is I'm supposed to pay 1/2 of what I can afford from my income (I'm a Care Aide) The problem with that is I'm not sure how we go about doing that and I'm not about to pay the whole thing and wait for him to pay me back because he won't do it even though he has the money.
The second thing is about the length of the visit. This year it's supposed to be 2 weeks, but now he's pushing for 3 and I'm thinking of agreeing to that because starting in 2012 our daughter is supposed to go down to visit him for a week of school holiday but 1. that's across the country and 2 he's not very good at sticking with what he says he'll do.
I already sent him an IM and an email about when we're moving. He said he can't talk about it yet. I also told him that I've plans at the end of July so he can't take our daughter then. But bloody hell, it's already May and June is out of the question so he only has the beginning of July or August so when does he plan on discussing it or deciding? Sorry... heh as you all can tell we don't get on too well which is pretty sad considering we're both supposed to be parents to our daughter. However my new husband has been more of a father to her for the past 4 years.
Okay so advice, suggestions? I mostly need help on how to pay for the ticket for my daughter.


Karli - posted on 05/03/2011




Hello, First of all welcome to Canada, B.C is beautiful. I definitely think that your daughter is old enough to decide on whether or she wants the extra time with her Dad or not. I think maybe sitting down with her and getting her imput is important to her. As far as the money for the ticket goes, if he is not one for holding up his end of the bargain then I would have to say that sending him money is out of the question. Find out what the cost is and tell him to send half of it to you. Since you have full custody tell him that these are the available weeks that you have and to choose from the ones available.

Jennifer - posted on 05/03/2011




I would talk to your daughter and see what she wants. If she wants the extra week, then she should get it. As far as paying for 1/2 the ticket. Why don't you wire him the money and let him make the arrangements, or tell him, it is going to cost x amount and as soon as you receive his 1/2, you will make the arrangements.


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♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/03/2011




Thanks I'll try that. I already know that I can send money from Canada to the States via a money order since one of my friends did that for me.

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