Anyone been in a custody battle and have a restraining order on their ex?

Rosina - posted on 06/16/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




So i don't want to write too long of a paragraph but here are the basic things i need advice on. My daughter is 5 months. Me and the father split and i have a restraining order on him. He threw me on the floor when i was holding my daughter. She was taken to the hospital and was inpatient. nothing wrong though thank god.

After that i got the restraining order and now i filed for custody. he did not see her in 3 months. I am scared by filing for custody that i am opening the door for visitation, Being he hasn't seen her and I know that the courts will grant him visitation.

It is concerning because i do not want him to have her overnight i know he lived with his mom and dad and he smokes weed with his dad. he has no crib, or travel job either yet retained a great lawyer.

He even had a lawyer for the restraining order. The court said "a third party may facilitate in partial physical custody periods. I retained a lawyer too ...i am writing to see if any one has been through a similar experience and what the outcome was.

Court date is 3 weeks away i am so nervous and even thought of withdrawing the petition because he hasn't seen her and i know by going that he will get to see her. HELP!


Jodi - posted on 06/17/2012




It sounds like they are suggesting supervised visitation ("a third party may facilitate in partial physical custody periods"), which is an acceptable solution. If you have a lawyer, and you have verification that your daughter in hospital was a result of his actions, then this is all he is likely to get. It takes an AWFUL lot to totally remove a biological parent from any or all contact with their child, because the courts recognise the importance of a child developing relationships with both parents. However, such circumstances, with documentation and evidence, would definitely warrant appropriate supervised visitation IMO.

I have not had a similar experience, but I have had an abusive ex. We had to have supervised visitation changeover for 2 years to prevent his abuse of me. However, he never actually abused his son. He's NOT a great dad, but his son loves him, so that's ok with me.

If I were you, I would discuss supervised visitation with my lawyer. You don't want to cut him out of your child's life forever, he might actually come good and be okay with her. But right now, you want to make sure that contact is regulated and supervised, and I can understand that.

This conversation has been closed to further comments


View replies by

Rosina - posted on 06/17/2012




thanks for the reply Jodi... yes. I agree about supervised visitation wholeheartedly and that is what I am shooting for. I am just confused because he has not made an attempt to see her in the 3 months the final restraining order has been in place and i am scared that I am "opening the door" for visitation if the court orders it.

Did you go through custody? what was your outcome?

I speak with my lawyer on Tuesday...she's pretty new to this but she's all I can afford. I have documentation such as police reports, letter from doctors, photographs, medical records... but everything is pretty much hearsay according to the law in PA.

I am so petrified if they give him overnights because they dont have a crib or anything of that sort for her plus she doesnt know him at this point and would have seperation anxiety because she is only with me 24/7... this is the hardest thing ever and i get so nervous just thinking i have to face this kid in court......but im the one who filed because when we lived together for 2 months he tried to take her from me twice...

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms