Anyone else in this situation?

Heather - posted on 06/16/2013 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My boyfriend (soon to be husband) has 2 children that he is trying to build a relationship with. He was separated from them for most of their lives. I helped him find them and start the whole process.

Both children came to stay with us last summer (us being my 5 year old daughter, my boyfriend and myself.) They stayed with us for most of the summer. I thought things went well even though it wasn't easy for any of us.

I found out recently that their mother, who they live with the rest of the time, is bad mouthing me to them. I'm not the kind of person to do that to anyone. It is sick to mess with children's minds. What should I do if they say something nasty to me?

Their father wants to handle all the discipline. That is fine with me, but what if they are mean to my daughter or hurt her?

They are coming to stay with us again this summer and I am so stressed out.

Any suggestions on how to deal with this situation?

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Jerilyn - posted on 06/17/2013

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Then the best thing to do is ignore her. Make her think your better than her, which you are definitely!!! That will eat her alive!! Just know that he is yours and not hers. When you see her just smile! She'll go nuts!! Lol :)

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Heather - posted on 06/18/2013

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You are so right. Thank you so much for sharing your words of wisdom and experience with me.

Heather - posted on 06/18/2013

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You are so right. Thank you so much for sharing your words of wisdom and experience with me.

Heather - posted on 06/18/2013

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I'm sorry to hear that.

I am just going to be the better person and try to ignore it.

Maybe I'm just over emotional but it seems that she would really like it if my boyfriend and I broke up.

Heather - posted on 06/17/2013

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Thank you Evelyn. I do think about her point of view and have tried to extend the olive branch but for some reason she just wants to be the way she is. I haven't had a lot of contact with her for that reason. My boyfriend doesn't talk to her much either except when it comes to the kids. He has said that is the way she was when they were together and that she hasn't changed at all.

I am sure she has her reasons but is it really necessary to say bad things to the kids about me? What would her motive be for that?

Heather - posted on 06/17/2013

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Thank you Evelyn. I do think about her point of view and have tried to extend the olive branch but for some reason she just wants to be the way she is. I haven't had a lot of contact with her for that reason. My boyfriend doesn't talk to her much either except when it comes to the kids. He has said that is the way she was when they were together and that she hasn't changed at all.

I am sure she has her reasons but is it really necessary to say bad things to the kids about me? What would her motive be for that?

Heather - posted on 06/17/2013

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Thanks! I will do that. I'm not the kind of person who talks bad about people, especially to kids, but I guess I get some satisfaction knowing that he is mine and not hers.

Heather - posted on 06/17/2013

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Thanks Jerilyn. I talked to my boyfriend and he said that it would be a bad idea because she is a nasty person and she would pick a fight with me.

As for my daughter, it is her son specifically I am nervous about being around my daughter.

Jerilyn - posted on 06/16/2013

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Of course the X is going to bad mouth you, I mean really everyone has something stupid to say about the father of her kids is with another women. Its called Jealous. How I would handle it, would be to call her up or when you see her front her out. if you don't like confrontation, then maybe make you soon to be hubby deal with it. But sounds like to me that she isn't a good mom to be sitting there infront of her kids bad mouthing you or someone else. Bc they will grow up and think that its ok to do that! She must be retarded. Honestly call her out on it. Whats the worse that could happen??? Nothing...Now for your daughter.. DO NOT leaver her alone with her! Sounds like to be she would do something mean to her.. let me know what you think

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