Anyone have any suggestions on how to get a 6 year old to stop lying?

Troylene - posted on 02/09/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )




My six year old son lies about everything. You can see him doing something and he will lie and say he didn't. I'm at my final breaking point. HELP


Jenn - posted on 02/09/2011




Don't give him the opportunity to lie. Instead of asking him, say "I see you did such and such" or "I know you did this", then give him the consequences. For example: he pours a drink on the floor. Don't ask if he did it. You know he did it. Say: "You poured a drink on the floor. We don't pour our drinks on the floor and make a mess on purpose. Now you're going to clean it up." Then whatever else - time out, go to his room, etc. whatever it is that you normally do as a form of discipline.

Laura - posted on 02/10/2011




All kids go through a developmental stage where they test the boundaries of lying. So that behavior, in and of itself, is not uncommon in kids your son's age. My daughter went through a BRIEF period of lying at that age. It was brief because her dad and I didn't put up with it!

The suggestions of making the consequences for lying harsher than the actual issue is what we implemented with our daughter. For example: Spilling milk makes a mess that the child is afraid will have severe consequences for them. So the child might try to avoid the consequences by stating that the cat tipped the glass over, not them. Cleaning up spilled milk is a simple consequence for their action and is immediate and brief. The consequence for lying, however, can really ruin one's day if no TV, video games, computer time, etc is allowed! This is what we explained to our daughter when teaching her about the importance of honesty and being responsible for one's actions. So call him on the lies and make the consequences harsher than the original infraction/action. Be consistent with your expectations and actions as well. Hope this helps and good luck!

Jodi - posted on 02/09/2011




Troylene, what sort of consequences is he receiving for lying now? I have a step-son who went through a stage where he would lie about things, and I would catch him out on it ALL the time (he is a terrible liar, LOL). Anyway, in our home, the consequences of the lie are harsher than the consequences of the action. He was a little older than your son, so grounding him worked. He would receive a consequence for whatever it was he did, and THEN he will be grounded from TV, games, etc, for the lie for 2 days. He fairly quickly realised he was much better off just coming clean.


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Troylene - posted on 02/11/2011




Thank you everyone for your advice. This is what I've tried so far...I have had our pastor speak to him, I have told him the story of the little boy that cried wolf, and I have even gone so far as to make him sit on the couch all day with no tv (which was also a punishment for me, but I was desperate). He got off the couch to go to the bathroom and I caught him trying to go into his room to get a toy and he lied to me about doing that. I'm certainly going to try the not letting him lie option. If I know for a fact he did something, I'm just going to call him on it. HOPEFULLY, this will help.

User - posted on 02/10/2011




My five year old just started lying all of a sudden. It doesn't make sense but I've concluded he lies because he's more afraid of the consequences of what he did, but he just found out the consequences are worse for lying and whatever the first offense was. I give him writing assignments like, "I will not lie to my mom and dad" fifty times. And then he's punished for whatever he lied about. I agree with Jenn about not giving him the opportunity to tell the lie. I plan to use this with my son!!!!

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I remember the hidings i used to get for lying...they were wooden spooners! you never got the wooden spoon in our house unless you lied and it hurt! but i don't suggest you smack him...unless you really want to

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get him to watch Pinocchio and then explain lying makes your nose grow true should see my great uncle's nose its huge and all he ever does is lie

Angela - posted on 02/09/2011




Well my first question would be...does he have an understanding of what lying is? And does he understand that its bad?
Some children dont understand what lying really is until its explained to them.

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